I tried every taco at Taco Bell and ranked them from worst to best
- I tried all seven tacos available at my local Taco Bell and compared them to find the best.
- I realized I don't love the chain's tacos, and the regular crunchy variety was my least favorite.
I'm on a mission to eat and rank everything on Taco Bell's menu.
This is the first installment of an odyssey I've been hoping to embark on for years: Eating everything on Taco Bell's menu.
I desperately want to do the entire thing at once, but it's an impossible task. Instead, I decided to split it into sections, starting with tacos.
It's the first review I've written from inside the establishment since before the pandemic, so I felt nervous and self-conscious. How would the cashier react when I went up and asked for every taco?
She didn't quite grasp the request, which I mumbled inaudibly. She said they only had three tacos then asked if I wanted them regular or Supreme. I didn't quite understand what she was asking and ended up walking away with three Taco Supremes.
After finishing the initial selection, I took a trip back to the register (the cashier didn't recognize me) to complete the gauntlet with the regular tacos.
After both trips to the counter, I ranked every taco on the menu from worst to best.
7. Crunchy taco
Initial thoughts: I typically prefer soft tacos to hard — the shell never breaks correctly when I take a bite.
Also, I never realized that "Supreme" just means adding sour cream and tomato. I feel cheated without those toppings, and it looks less appetizing.
But will those subtractions really make a difference?
Review: Yes, they did.
The tomato and sour cream act as a buffer between the salty beef and the dry tortilla. Without them, it's a far less pleasant eating experience.
Balance is never a word I'd use to describe Taco Bell, but this one certainly doesn't have it.
6. Soft taco
Initial Thoughts: I'm guessing it will be better than the hard taco.
Review: Definitely better, but still not very good at all.
Simply a sad experience.
5. Crunchy Taco Supreme
Initial Thoughts: Don't look too hard, it might get soggy.
Review: My main complaint is the crunchy taco shell is unsalted, and it gets too soggy by the time the juice seeps through.
4. Spicy potato soft taco
Initial Thoughts: I'm most excited about this one because I don't know what to expect. Are the potatoes spicy?
It looks sad without the sour cream and tomato (a Supreme option would be great), but I'm excited nonetheless.
Review: The potato is interesting — I think the "spicy" comes from a chipotle sauce.
I miss the tomato a lot and think the taco would benefit significantly from salsa.
As is, there's too much carb on carb with the potato and tortilla. The cheese also got a little lost in the whole flavor profile.
Still, overall, this was quite interesting, and I'd eat it again.
3. Nacho Cheese Doritos Locos Tacos
Initial Thoughts: I'm looking forward to this far less than the other Locos Tacos.
I'm also curious to see if it ranks above any of the non-Doritos Supremes.
Review: I'd rather have this than the crunchy Supreme, but that's just a testament to Doritos' greatness.
2. Soft Taco Supreme
Initial Thoughts: I like this ground beef, it looks almost juicy. I can't tell if that's a good thing, though. There's also a lot of sour cream, which I'm also not sold on.
But I haven't had one of these in a while and am looking forward to the experience.
Review: It is pretty juicy. It's a solid taco.
The soft tortilla tastes fresh from the package. The lettuce and tomato don't even taste that watery. Maybe they're dehydrated — just like me.
1. Nacho Cheese Doritos Locos Tacos Supreme
Initial Thoughts: Call me basic, but I love everything about this. I especially love the branding since the Doritos tacos come with unique packaging.
I'm even willing to let go of my hatred for hard shells. This should taste more seasoned.
Review: I remember my mind being blown when I first heard about this concept — on a commercial somewhere — and it still is.
Combining Doritos and a taco shell is and always will be a stroke of genius.
I'd still rather have a soft shell, but that's a minor issue. As expected, the shell is highly seasoned and mixes with the beef perfectly. Together, they prove an excellent counterbalance to the condiments.
Overall, I found out that I don't like Taco Bell tacos that much.
Turns out I'm not a huge fan of Taco Bell tacos, which sounds blasphemous. But I don't think they reach the same heights as other items on the menu.
Part of the reason the visit was underwhelming is I didn't use any hot sauce. I ultimately decided to experience the menu in its purest sense.
But this group's clear winner is the Nacho Cheese Doritos Locos Tacos Supreme.
Eating a Doritos taco shell will always be better than eating a non-Doritos taco shell. It doesn't need to be more complicated than that.
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