I tried Costco's famous poutine in Canada. The food was fine, but it wasn't worth the hellish experience.
- Costco in Canada is a treasure trove of the country's most popular goodies — including poutine.
- Costco reportedly has some of Montreal's best vegetarian poutine. I put it to the test.
Even on a good day, I find that Costco can be stressful. Catch it on a slow day, and you might be spared the seemingly endless check-out lines and games of bumper-carts with other shoppers. But try going on a weekend, and you've practically doomed yourself to big-box purgatory.
Of course, there's a reason it's the way that it is. Costco has earned itself a reputation for great deals and reliable service, which bring in hordes of loyal shoppers every day. Even its most mysterious services, like its custom cakes, have customers in a chokehold. If there's one thing I've learned in my 25 years it is this: Don't discount Costco.
So when I read on MTL Blog that the store had some of the best vegetarian poutine in Montreal, where I was visiting on a recent trip, I knew I had to put it to the test. Even though the vegetarian poutine was better than I had expected, I'd never brave Costco for it again.
Even on a Wednesday night, Montreal's Costco was a madhouse.
When I arrived around 6:30 p.m. on a Wednesday in May, I wasn't expecting I'd be at the warehouse for nearly two hours. I was just getting a basket of wet french fries. How hard could it be?
But as I walked into the store's food court, it became apparent I'd come on a "big-box purgatory" day: There were dozens of people in line to order food, and even more waiting for their order to be called.
Because there were no human-operated cash registers open, and just two of the six self-checkout registers were working, I waited in a Costco-sized line before even trying to place my order at a kiosk.
After about 15 minutes, it was my turn to order.
The hoops I had to jump through to get my meal would have been funny if I wasn't already hangry.
When I went to order, my debit card declined. I tried two other cards, each of which declined.
Thinking maybe I couldn't order without an active Costco card — mine had lapsed a year or two prior — I went into a maddening pursuit of getting a new membership.
I spent nearly an hour renewing my membership, only to find out that you can, in fact, order from the food court without being a member. My membership wasn't the problem; It's that Canadian Costcos don't accept Visa — a shock, considering American Costcos exclusively accept Visa. Armed with three Visa cards, I had come prepared for the wrong country.
An employee directed me to an ATM, where I pulled out a wad of Canadian dollars and got back in line, which had by then grown to about a 20-minute wait.
Finally, after nearly two hours of misunderstandings, mishaps, and lines, my growling stomach and I sat down with my massive, $5 to-go box of poutine.
Overall, the food was better than I had expected, but it still wasn't worth the hassle.
As an American — and a vegetarian American at that — I had never tasted poutine or understood the widespread affection for the dish. I have a better understanding of it now; It's salty and savory, with gooey cheese curds that add an interesting texture to the pile of fries.
I guess I could see myself eating it again, if circumstances ever allowed it — like if I lived in Montreal, and shopped at Costco regularly, and happened to have anything other than a Visa, and was in the mood for six servings of fries.
Really, it's a good enough dish. But I'd just as soon never eat poutine again if it meant I had to go to Costco to get it.
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