I spent a single night in a camper van with my husband and have a newfound appreciation for people who do it full-time

Sophie-Claire HoellerMay 14, 2020, 04:38 IST

Business Insider

I rented a truck bed camper for a night in February.
While it was cozy and the bed was comfortable, it was also very, very small.
Van-lifer couples must get really close: the tight quarters can get frustrating, and the sleeping situation was a little claustrophobic for me.
Ultimately, one night staying in a van with my husband was more than enough for me.
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I consider myself a pretty adventurous traveler. I spent two months backpacking around Australia and living in a tent during a gap year, I've slept in ice hotels and potatoes, I ski, I surf, I bike, I am down to try new things.

And van life has always intrigued me. Who doesn't like the idea of traversing the country like a happy little snail, comfortably ensconced in your stylish home, with everything you need within arm's reach?

So, when I had the opportunity to try the whole van-life thing in February in a very low-stakes, small-scale way — for a single night, immobile, through a rental site — I jumped at the chance.

However, one night might be enough for me. Keep scrolling to see what I learned from my night of "glamping" and how it changed my perceptions of van life.

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However, I'm not saying never to van life. The idea of hitting the road in a van customized to my personal needs (read: has a bigger closet and a shower) is still an appealing one.

The bags under my eyes should tell you how I slept. Sophie-Claire Hoeller/Insider

However, I'm not saying never to van life. The idea of hitting the road in a van customized to my personal needs (read: has a bigger closet and a shower) is still an appealing one.

While the bed had a comfy memory foam mattress and the space heater kept the space toasty (it actually got so hot I had to turn it down), I didn't sleep well. I was uncomfortable knowing that we were parked on a public street, cars were driving by right by my head, and car doors were slamming at all hours. I felt very exposed.

The space heater worked well. Sophie-Claire Hoeller/Insider

While the bed had a comfy memory foam mattress and the space heater kept the space toasty (it actually got so hot I had to turn it down), I didn't sleep well. I was uncomfortable knowing that we were parked on a public street, cars were driving by right by my head, and car doors were slamming at all hours. I felt very exposed.

There was also no shower. I have no problem showering in the shower houses of RV parks and campgrounds, but not having a shower or even a sink beside the one in the kitchen would be rough on hygiene when you're traveling or staying on public lands.

The sink took a few steps to work. Sophie-Claire Hoeller/Insider

There was also no shower. I have no problem showering in the shower houses of RV parks and campgrounds, but not having a shower or even a sink beside the one in the kitchen would be rough on hygiene when you're traveling or staying on public lands.

"The hardest for me was getting rid of clothes," DeSantis agreed. "It's not necessarily the fact that I need it, it's just the emotional baggage: Emotionally getting rid of stuff."

Storage in vans and RVs is limited, so downsizing is key. Frank Olito/ Insider

"The hardest for me was getting rid of clothes," DeSantis agreed. "It's not necessarily the fact that I need it, it's just the emotional baggage: Emotionally getting rid of stuff."

Van-lifers say they've had to put a bunch of things in storage. "You just have to get rid of the emotional attachment to things, which is easier said than done," said James.

Sara and Alex James put a lot of their stuff in storage. Sara and Alex James

Van-lifers say they've had to put a bunch of things in storage. "You just have to get rid of the emotional attachment to things, which is easier said than done," said James.

Downsizing would probably be the hardest thing for me, personally. The only closet in this particular van was a tiny amount of space inside of the bathroom, above the toilet. Downsizing sounds hard enough, but downsizing to the point of sharing this miniature closet? For me, likely impossible.

This closet was a pain to get to. Sophie-Claire Hoeller/Insider

Downsizing would probably be the hardest thing for me, personally. The only closet in this particular van was a tiny amount of space inside of the bathroom, above the toilet. Downsizing sounds hard enough, but downsizing to the point of sharing this miniature closet? For me, likely impossible.

Do van-lifers spend all their time cleaning up after each other? Or just downsize to the point of not owning enough to make a mess in the first place?

My carry-on suitcase took up a significant amount of available space. Sophie-Claire Hoeller/Insider

What agitated me immediately was that because of the lack of storage space, things got super messy super fast. I'm no clean freak, but living in this disaster would get to me.

We created a mess in less than 30 minutes. Sophie-Claire Hoeller/Insider

What agitated me immediately was that because of the lack of storage space, things got super messy super fast. I'm no clean freak, but living in this disaster would get to me.

Bickering isn't uncommon for couples living in vans. That's why DeSantis and Holmes conduct daily alignments to remain on the same page. DeSantis says knowing what's on everyone's plate and understanding their stressors is key in such a small space, "so you understand where your partner is coming from instead of getting agitated."

DeSantis and Holmes live and work out of a 23-foot van. Heather DeSantis

Bickering isn't uncommon for couples living in vans. That's why DeSantis and Holmes conduct daily alignments to remain on the same page. DeSantis says knowing what's on everyone's plate and understanding their stressors is key in such a small space, "so you understand where your partner is coming from instead of getting agitated."

I changed in the kitchen because there was no other space, and we jostled each other for room at the sink to brush our teeth.

The kitchen area had the most available square footage. Sophie-Claire Hoeller/Insider

In fact, not even five minutes into our stay, my husband and I were getting annoyed with each other because we kept getting in each other's way — there was simply not enough room.

We were constantly in each other's way. Sophie-Claire Hoeller/Insider

In fact, not even five minutes into our stay, my husband and I were getting annoyed with each other because we kept getting in each other's way — there was simply not enough room.

Another downside? The bathroom was incredibly tiny. At 5'4" I could barely shut the door. My takeaway: Couples living together in vans must get real, real comfortable with each other.

It was almost impossible to close the door when using the toilet. Sophie-Claire Hoeller/Insider

Another downside? The bathroom was incredibly tiny. At 5'4" I could barely shut the door. My takeaway: Couples living together in vans must get real, real comfortable with each other.

I found a downside to sleeping on the outside, however: The person sleeping on the inside has no choice but to wake you up should they have to go to the bathroom. And my husband did. At 2 a.m.

The person on the inside has to clamber over the person on the outside to get in and out. Sophie-Claire Hoeller/Insider

I found a downside to sleeping on the outside, however: The person sleeping on the inside has no choice but to wake you up should they have to go to the bathroom. And my husband did. At 2 a.m.

Despite usually sleeping on the left side of the bed, I insisted on sleeping on the right: I would have been way too claustrophobic on the inside.

I slept on the outside of the bed, in the kitchen essentially. Sophie-Claire Hoeller/Insider

The bed was soft and inviting, but when lying down I found there was less than half an arm's length between my face and the ceiling, which felt a little oppressive to me.

I was a little claustrophobic. Sophie-Claire Hoeller/Insider

The bed was soft and inviting, but when lying down I found there was less than half an arm's length between my face and the ceiling, which felt a little oppressive to me.

Counter space, too, is limited. I would also struggle to cook with this amount of surface area.

This was the extent of the kitchen's counter space. Sophie-Claire Hoeller/Insider

However, cabinet and pantry space is usually so limited I wouldn't even know where to keep this long-lasting produce.

The cupboards were pretty small. Sophie-Claire Hoeller/Insider

DeSantis and Holmes said they have to go grocery shopping at least twice a week because of the size of their fridge, but try to be savvy about their purchases, such as by stocking up on long-lasting vegetables that don't need to be refrigerated.

Sweet potatoes are long-lasting and don't need to be refrigerated. Carolien Fox/Insider

DeSantis and Holmes said they have to go grocery shopping at least twice a week because of the size of their fridge, but try to be savvy about their purchases, such as by stocking up on long-lasting vegetables that don't need to be refrigerated.

I usually plan my meals in advance and go food shopping once a week. With a fridge and pantry this size, I would likely have to abandon my meal-prepping routine.

There was room for pantry items, but not a lot. Sophie-Claire Hoeller/Insider

Most vans can only accommodate mini-fridges, meaning you'll probably have to go food shopping a lot more often than you're used to.

The fridge in our rental wasn't in great shape, but still there wasn't much space. Sophie-Claire Hoeller/Insider

But it's not just where you'll sleep or shower that needs planning; it's also your food shopping, gas, water supply, and laundry. That's a lot more stuff to keep track of than I do now.

Van life can be a lot less spontaneous than some people make it out to be. Stanislaw Pytel/Reuters

But it's not just where you'll sleep or shower that needs planning; it's also your food shopping, gas, water supply, and laundry. That's a lot more stuff to keep track of than I do now.

"The sleeping is definitely the most stressful thing," James agreed. "You don't really have a routine because you're trying to figure out 'where are we going next, where are we going to sleep?' After a while that does start to wear on you and makes it not as fun."

Sara and Alex James. Sara and Alex James

"The sleeping is definitely the most stressful thing," James agreed. "You don't really have a routine because you're trying to figure out 'where are we going next, where are we going to sleep?' After a while that does start to wear on you and makes it not as fun."

"One of the sacrifices that you make having this lifestyle is you give up some of your time for logistics and moving around," Holmes said. "Your schedule is definitely not the same as it would be. Weekends are less of a thing."

Weekends have changed for DeSantis and Holmes. Heather DeSantis

"One of the sacrifices that you make having this lifestyle is you give up some of your time for logistics and moving around," Holmes said. "Your schedule is definitely not the same as it would be. Weekends are less of a thing."

Heather DeSantis and her fiancé Aaron Holmes, who live and work together in a 23-foot Airstream, told Insider that they typically spend an hour or two a day planning their next stop.

Heather DeSantis and Aaron Holmes do a lot of planning ahead. Heather DeSantis

Heather DeSantis and her fiancé Aaron Holmes, who live and work together in a 23-foot Airstream, told Insider that they typically spend an hour or two a day planning their next stop.

Ironically, this would mean a lot of forward-planning. Despite the free-spirited connotations of van life, as Zoë Hannah, who quit her job to travel the world in a van, previously told Insider, "planning ahead of time becomes imperative."

Van-lifers spend a lot of time planning their next move. Hraun/Getty

Ironically, this would mean a lot of forward-planning. Despite the free-spirited connotations of van life, as Zoë Hannah, who quit her job to travel the world in a van, previously told Insider, "planning ahead of time becomes imperative."

Contrary to popular belief, you can't just park your van and sleep anywhere — in most places that's illegal, and you need to research where you are actually allowed to spend the night in your vehicle.

There are laws on where you can and cannot park your van and spend the night. pixdeluxe/Getty

Contrary to popular belief, you can't just park your van and sleep anywhere — in most places that's illegal, and you need to research where you are actually allowed to spend the night in your vehicle.

I had never really thought about this, but I guess unless you're parked on a remote beach or in some sort of secluded spot, people living in vans probably have to keep the shades down for privacy, making the whole van-life thing a lot less outdoorsy than expected.

The kitchen area in our rental van. Sophie-Claire Hoeller/Insider

I had never really thought about this, but I guess unless you're parked on a remote beach or in some sort of secluded spot, people living in vans probably have to keep the shades down for privacy, making the whole van-life thing a lot less outdoorsy than expected.

Since our rental was in the middle of a relatively public area, we kept all the blinds drawn, making the interior a lot darker than expected.

We kept all the blinds down in our rental since people were walking by outside. Sophie-Claire Hoeller/Insider

That said, it reminded me of something Sara James — who spent two years living in a van with her now-husband — previously told Insider: Van life may look super glamorous on Instagram, but half the time you're sleeping in a Walmart parking lot.

Instagram isn't always real life. Sophie-Claire Hoeller/Insider

That said, it reminded me of something Sara James — who spent two years living in a van with her now-husband — previously told Insider: Van life may look super glamorous on Instagram, but half the time you're sleeping in a Walmart parking lot.

I was excited to see what life in a van might be like, renting a one-night stay for what the listing described as an "urban glamping" experience. I'm not sure what I expected, but it wasn't being parked on a residential street.

Our rental van was parked on the street, wedged between other vehicles. Sophie-Claire Hoeller/Insider

I was excited to see what life in a van might be like, renting a one-night stay for what the listing described as an "urban glamping" experience. I'm not sure what I expected, but it wasn't being parked on a residential street.

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I spent a single night in a camper van with my husband and have a newfound appreciation for people who do it full-time

However, I'm not saying never to van life. The idea of hitting the road in a van customized to my personal needs (read: has a bigger closet and a shower) is still an appealing one.

There was also no shower. I have no problem showering in the shower houses of RV parks and campgrounds, but not having a shower or even a sink beside the one in the kitchen would be rough on hygiene when you're traveling or staying on public lands.

"The hardest for me was getting rid of clothes," DeSantis agreed. "It's not necessarily the fact that I need it, it's just the emotional baggage: Emotionally getting rid of stuff."

Van-lifers say they've had to put a bunch of things in storage. "You just have to get rid of the emotional attachment to things, which is easier said than done," said James.

Downsizing would probably be the hardest thing for me, personally. The only closet in this particular van was a tiny amount of space inside of the bathroom, above the toilet. Downsizing sounds hard enough, but downsizing to the point of sharing this miniature closet? For me, likely impossible.

Do van-lifers spend all their time cleaning up after each other? Or just downsize to the point of not owning enough to make a mess in the first place?

What agitated me immediately was that because of the lack of storage space, things got super messy super fast. I'm no clean freak, but living in this disaster would get to me.

I changed in the kitchen because there was no other space, and we jostled each other for room at the sink to brush our teeth.

In fact, not even five minutes into our stay, my husband and I were getting annoyed with each other because we kept getting in each other's way — there was simply not enough room.

Another downside? The bathroom was incredibly tiny. At 5'4" I could barely shut the door. My takeaway: Couples living together in vans must get real, real comfortable with each other.

I found a downside to sleeping on the outside, however: The person sleeping on the inside has no choice but to wake you up should they have to go to the bathroom. And my husband did. At 2 a.m.

Despite usually sleeping on the left side of the bed, I insisted on sleeping on the right: I would have been way too claustrophobic on the inside.

The bed was soft and inviting, but when lying down I found there was less than half an arm's length between my face and the ceiling, which felt a little oppressive to me.

Counter space, too, is limited. I would also struggle to cook with this amount of surface area.

However, cabinet and pantry space is usually so limited I wouldn't even know where to keep this long-lasting produce.

DeSantis and Holmes said they have to go grocery shopping at least twice a week because of the size of their fridge, but try to be savvy about their purchases, such as by stocking up on long-lasting vegetables that don't need to be refrigerated.

I usually plan my meals in advance and go food shopping once a week. With a fridge and pantry this size, I would likely have to abandon my meal-prepping routine.

Most vans can only accommodate mini-fridges, meaning you'll probably have to go food shopping a lot more often than you're used to.

But it's not just where you'll sleep or shower that needs planning; it's also your food shopping, gas, water supply, and laundry. That's a lot more stuff to keep track of than I do now.

"The sleeping is definitely the most stressful thing," James agreed. "You don't really have a routine because you're trying to figure out 'where are we going next, where are we going to sleep?' After a while that does start to wear on you and makes it not as fun."

"One of the sacrifices that you make having this lifestyle is you give up some of your time for logistics and moving around," Holmes said. "Your schedule is definitely not the same as it would be. Weekends are less of a thing."

Heather DeSantis and her fiancé Aaron Holmes, who live and work together in a 23-foot Airstream, told Insider that they typically spend an hour or two a day planning their next stop.

Ironically, this would mean a lot of forward-planning. Despite the free-spirited connotations of van life, as Zoë Hannah, who quit her job to travel the world in a van, previously told Insider, "planning ahead of time becomes imperative."

Contrary to popular belief, you can't just park your van and sleep anywhere — in most places that's illegal, and you need to research where you are actually allowed to spend the night in your vehicle.

I had never really thought about this, but I guess unless you're parked on a remote beach or in some sort of secluded spot, people living in vans probably have to keep the shades down for privacy, making the whole van-life thing a lot less outdoorsy than expected.

Since our rental was in the middle of a relatively public area, we kept all the blinds drawn, making the interior a lot darker than expected.

That said, it reminded me of something Sara James — who spent two years living in a van with her now-husband — previously told Insider: Van life may look super glamorous on Instagram, but half the time you're sleeping in a Walmart parking lot.

I was excited to see what life in a van might be like, renting a one-night stay for what the listing described as an "urban glamping" experience. I'm not sure what I expected, but it wasn't being parked on a residential street.