- Wendy Wang moved to Silicon Valley in 2020 and said the experience was like a roller coaster.
- She said it was a steep learning curve for her and her spouse and felt like a never-ending race.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Wendy Wang, a small business owner in Warminster, Pennsylvania. It's been edited for length and clarity.
People think of Silicon Valley as the tech dreamland. When I moved there on a work assignment, I discovered it in a different light.
I was initially drawn in by Silicon Valley's innovative aura and breathtaking landscapes. The thought of being surrounded by a vibrant tech culture and the promise of limitless opportunities seemed like a perfect next step.
I moved with my spouse, and it was a major transition for both of us. The pace of life was much faster than what we were used to — the work days were longer, expectations were higher, and the competition was fiercer. It was a steep learning curve.
My experience in the Valley was like a rollercoaster ride
I moved there to work as an international trade specialist for a tech startup. My role involved managing and optimizing our product's global supply chain, and I worked in the startup's headquarters where a team of developers, marketers, and supply chain experts worked together.
My coworkers were passionate and driven, but the focus on individual performance was intense. It overshadowed any camaraderie we might've had.
Despite my spouse and I both holding decent full-time positions, a significant portion of our combined income — roughly 40 to 50% — went towards rent and other living expenses. We got a two-bedroom apartment in Sunnyvale, one of the more expensive areas in Silicon Valley. The rent was $3,500 per month, not including utilities and other living expenses.
It left little room for savings, let alone the prospect of buying a house. The median home price was around $1.7 million at the time, which was 2020. Renting wasn't much better, with the average monthly rent hovering around $2,800 for a one-bedroom.
This financial strain was a constant in our lives, adding to the stress of demanding jobs. A monthly public transportation pass was around $96, twice as much as the national average. A gallon of milk that would cost around $2.50 in most parts of the country was closer to $4. A simple oil change for your car could set you back $90; a haircut could easily cost $60 or more.
The intense pressure to constantly be 'on' hurt both my mental and physical well-being
It felt like a never-ending race, where even if you're leading, you can't slow down for fear of being overtaken. In an attempt to fit in, I threw myself into different activities: I attended networking events, went to tech meetups, and made an effort to engage with my neighbors.
But the sense of community I was used to back in Pennsylvania was missing. Interactions felt transactional. It felt as if everyone was so caught up in their own world that it was hard to build meaningful connections.
One time I was working late at the office, as was the norm, and I needed help with a stubborn problem. In any other setting, this would be the moment where I might've reached out to a colleague for a fresh perspective or a hand.
But no one answered my plea for help. I looked around and realized that everyone was so engrossed in their work that there was no interaction, no small talk — it was like we were all islands in a sea of technology, connected by the work but disconnected on a personal level.
After two years of this intense, isolating lifestyle, we returned to Pennsylvania
Coming back felt like slipping into a comfortable pair of old shoes. There's a genuine warmth in people's interactions in Warminster. Everyone knows your name and asks about your day, and there's a supportive and collaborative spirit among local businesses.
Living without constant financial worry has given us the freedom to enjoy life, and I've been able to establish and grow my business and pursue a passion for outdoor furniture. The slower pace and the significantly lower cost of living has allowed me to own a beautiful four-bedroom house with a backyard. Our mortgage is less than our California rent.
Unlike the urban sprawl and year-round Mediterranean climate in Sunnyvale, Warminster has all four seasons and lots of open spaces and parks. My backyard, where I can relax and reconnect with nature, has been a blessing.
I hope my story can serve as a cautionary tale for people considering a move to Silicon Valley
In my rush to join the bandwagon, I overlooked some crucial aspects. I wish that I'd explored affordable housing options outside of the main city. I would've also tried to build a support system before moving, to help ease the transition and provide a safety net. I should've looked for communities that shared my interests and tried to find a mentor who'd made a similar move.
The challenges that my husband and I faced in Sunnyvale were instrumental in my decision to start my own business in Pennsylvania. I learned the importance of balance, community, and staying true to one's values, even under intense pressure. Success and happiness aren't just about career advancement, they're about maintaining a healthy work-life balance and nurturing meaningful relationships.
Despite the challenges, my time in Silicon Valley wasn't a complete downer. It's a place of great opportunities, but it's also a place where you can easily lose yourself in the race.