I moved my family from Los Angeles to Louisville, Kentucky. I wanted my son to be near his grandparents and I needed support as a mom.

• My husband and I were living in Los Angeles when our son was born.
• Being a first-time mom in a big city and away from my family was too much for me to handle.

I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't pretend I was happy. Hiding out to cry in the bathroom was becoming a weekly ritual, but I didn't dare tell my husband or show my 4-year-old. I was reaching a breaking point and my choices seemed clear: Stay safe in this bathroom forever or move us all back to my hometown.

The combination of big-city living, motherhood, and being far away from a family I adored kept tugging at my insides. I was emotionally overloaded and couldn't figure out how to feel grounded again. I wondered if moving back home was the solution to everything I was dealing with.

I'd never been the best at hiding the truth. It takes all my willpower just to keep the gifts I buy a secret. But I'd been doing my best to protect my husband and son from this truth, because it meant a cross-country move from Los Angeles to Louisville. I'd be changing my family's life, and I wasn't sure they'd welcome such a huge shift. So I buried my feelings, hoping they'd go away.

They didn't, and in July 2018 we moved back to Kentucky. The smaller, closer community was exactly what I needed to be there for my family.

I tried to be happy in Los Angeles

I tried to remember what excited me about Los Angeles. When I first arrived, it was like I was on a permanent vacation. With the warm weather, the ocean close by, and one-of-a-kind happenings like Colin Firth smiling at me, the city kept me inspired.

Shortly after moving, I met my future husband and we began building our life together. I was ready to love L.A. forever, but my forever became short-lived after I gave birth to our son.

Cradling my 2-week-old, I walked my parents to our front door. With my arms too full of baby to give hugs, I thanked them for all their help. I hadn't lived near them for almost 20 years, so I was well practiced in saying goodbye. But this was different. Their departure left me panicked.

I wanted to take my new family and go back to the calming bluegrass of Kentucky with them.

As a first-time mom, their company had eased my frazzled nerves. I worried about everything from feeding to clipping my newborn's nails. Nervous to even burp my baby, my mom noticed and whispered, "You've got this." And I believed her. The support of my parents was a familiar comfort in a world where I felt totally lost.

As a new mom, I needed to be close to my parents

I assumed I'd settle into my mom role, but parenting was always changing and my stress continued. I wished for the soothing presence of my parents, and L.A. was draining me dry.

Spending three hours in traffic just to buy milk left me on edge. The increasingly dangerous fire season fueled my distress. The stress of taking care of my baby mingled with the anxieties of big-city living left me constantly overwhelmed. I dreamed of escaping L.A., but I never thought my husband would agree to it.

"Honey, can we talk about moving to Kentucky?" I asked nervously.

My request hung in the air over our kitchen island, and I could sense my husband thought I was kidding. When I explained how I'd been spending my free time in our bathroom crying, he knew I was not. I listed the benefits of a life with less traffic and more grandparents for me and for our son.

Moving home to be near family gave me the support I was craving. The overwhelming feelings I carried didn't move with us, and this created space for me to be a more present parent.

We've been in Kentucky for three years, and the slower pace within a smaller community keeps me grounded. And even more inspiring than Colin Firth smiling at me, I'm watching my son build a close relationship with his grandparents. Spending time out of the car and with family is making all the difference.