- When my older sister got married in 2001, I was 14 and had a crush on her new brother-in-law.
- Six years later, I called him up out of the blue and we started dating.
When my oldest sister got married in 2001, I was a bridesmaid and walked down the aisle with her new brother-in-law, Andy. I had a major crush on him, but I was only 14 at the time and he was 29. Needless to say, I (understandably) didn't really exist to him back then.
Six years later, I still had a crush on him, so I called him up out of the blue. We started dating and eventually got married — which, yes, means I married my sister's brother-in-law.
I know that sounds strange at first. But it's really not all that weird, because Andy and I aren't related. It's a simple matter of two brothers having married two sisters.
Years later, I finally got the courage to call him
Having been so young when I met him, I kept telling myself to get over my crush on him because I was so young. I hadn't really even seen him much at family functions over the years, simply because our families didn't get together all that often. When I did see him, though, I always noticed his good looks. But he was also funny and down to earth — with him, what you see is what you get.
When I was 20 years old, in college, and not dating anyone, I realized that I still had a crush on him, which was a little embarrassing. After all, how common is it to have a thing for someone for six years, especially considering I was only 14 when I met him? One night, I decided to ask my sister for Andy's phone number. This was pretty awkward because it meant admitting to my sister that I had a thing for him. To be honest, I think she sort of dismissed it as silly, and she didn't follow up to ask whether I called him.
But I did call (with a little help from some liquid courage), and though he didn't end up answering, he called me back the next day and we chatted. Though he seemed a little weirded out and unsure what to do at first or why I was calling him, we talked a bit and agreed to meet up the next time I was in town.
We didn't tell our families when we started dating
It wasn't long after that phone call before Andy and I were dating, but we didn't tell our families at first. For one thing, there was that awkward dynamic of his brother being married to my sister. But the biggest reason was our age gap.
When my sister was dating her now-husband, my parents were freaked out by their two-year age gap. I wasn't sure how they'd handle a 15-year difference, let alone the fact that I was dating my sister's brother-in-law.
Andy farms with his brother, and Andy's (and, now, our current) house is on the family farm site. For the first two months of our relationship, I'd hide my car at Andy's friend's house nearby whenever I drove home from college to visit. It would have been a little tough to explain my presence there if his brother had shown up randomly, which is something he often does.
When we finally told our families, it was a bit of an adjustment for them, since everyone had known each other for years. I think the best reaction was from my parents, though. When I worked up the courage to talk to them, I started by telling them I was dating someone they knew. They were terrified because they immediately assumed it was an ex-boyfriend that they evidently hated.
Once I explained I was dating Andy, I think there was actually a sense of relief on their part. Luckily, they hated that ex-boyfriend so much that a 15-year age gap didn't sound so bad after all!
We've been married for 14 years and counting
Fast-forward to today, and Andy and I just celebrated another wedding anniversary. Sure, our age gap and family connections presented some interesting challenges at first. But over the years, our relationship has grown and we've found some great friends we both enjoy hanging out with together, which is not always an easy task given our age difference. We also spend a lot of time together, just the two of us, even if he's watching TV and I'm reading a book.
We don't do everything together, of course. For example, I love to travel and Andy doesn't, so sometimes I'll go on vacations with friends or take solo trips. But being independent doesn't take away from our relationship; in fact, it only adds to it, and we're still going strong after 14 years of marriage.