I love having a twin, but struggled to find my own identity. Here are 5 downsides to having a twin no one talks about.

• Being a twin has made it hard for me and my sister to develop our own identities.
• People refer to us as "the twins" instead of by our individual names.

Being a twin is something I always have been and something I always will be. Although I am thankful to have a really strong bond with my twin sister, that doesn't mean that there haven't been some struggles that I've faced and will continue to face as a result.

Here are some of the downsides of being a twin so that people have a better understanding and can be more sensitive when it comes to speaking and interacting with twins.

As a child, I never had people's full attention

Since my sister and I did everything together as children, from the classes we were placed in school to playing on the same basketball team on the weekends, it was difficult for me to feel like I could be validated and have victories of my own without my sister being involved in some way.

For example, if I were to come home with a 100% grade on a test that I was super proud of, I would often receive a simple "congratulations" followed by a "Casey, what did you get?" or "What did your sister get?"

I know that most of the time when this is done by my friends and family, they don't have any ill intentions. However, it doesn't make the invalidation hurt any less or the desire to feel seen or heard by my family and friends any weaker.

We got compared a lot

I don't want to generalize and say that eating disorders are a downside all sets of twins experience; however, it was in my case. As two people who have always been larger and made fun of as children by bullies in school, it led us to develop an eating disorder where we competed to see who could be smaller.

It also didn't help when people would sometimes refer to us using phrases such as "the bigger one," "the shorter one," and the like.

It made me feel that if I looked different from my twin that it was a bad thing and that looking the same was the best way for us to get through life.

People refer to us as 'the twins' and not by our names

Ever since I was a kid, I have been referred to as "the twins" by many people. I did not mind this as much when I was younger as I thought that was just how it was. However, as I got older and even to this day, it has increasingly upset me as I have taken this to mean that people view me as a combined entity as opposed to a separate individual, which can be frustrating.

Even though both of us are older now, we are still often referred to as "the twins," especially when we're together.

I struggle with my sense of identity

Although I have been better able to discover who I am and what my passions are as I have gotten older, it was difficult to navigate for a long time when we were often dressed alike, provided the same gifts, and had the same friends as children.

It took me a long time to realize that I like certain things because I like them and not because my sister does or doesn't. It's sometimes difficult when you're referred to as a pair to feel that you're able to have your own life. It can feel limiting as a twin to rework those thoughts that I have developed, telling me I have to be like my twin.

I'll never have a birthday that is just my own

Although this one may sound obvious to some, I will never have my own birthday. I don't really mind anymore as I love my sister and enjoy that we get to celebrate together. However, I didn't always think like this, especially when I was younger. I still sometimes have difficulty comprehending that I will never truly have a day like some other people to celebrate just me and how many years I've been on the planet without having to think about my sister as well.