- I spent 21 years working in schools, nurseries, and preschools before leaving education in 2022.
- I wish more children could do everyday tasks like nose-blowing or handwashing independently.
Many parents might be surprised to learn that most early-education staffers aren't concerned if new students can count to 10 or write their names. It's great if they can, but we can help them develop these skills once they're settled into preschool life.
What we'd really love is for parents and carers to prepare their children for what the preschool day involves. Many lockdown babies lack independence because they're used to having one-to-one attention, but the tasks we would love them to master are transferable skills that will also make your home life easier.
Here are some things I wish parents would teach their children from an early age.
Teach your child you will come back to pick them up
Your child needs to know that they will be left but — and this is key — that you will come back.
Children starting preschool now have gotten used to having parents, carers, and siblings around them at all times. While some families were strengthened by spending additional time together during the pandemic, many children who lost out on being left with relatives or babysitters are wary of new situations.
Prepare your child for preschool by leaving them with a responsible adult while you run errands, go to the gym, or even just use the bathroom. It will teach your child that they can have fun without you and, most importantly, that you always return. Demonstrate friendly conversation and body language towards the people you leave your child with — your child will notice this, and it can reduce their anxieties and help them feel at ease.
Teach them how to be independent with some tasks
In a busy setting, it makes an enormous difference if children can complete everyday tasks independently. Think of the time it takes to get your child ready to go outside in the winter, ensuring they're wrapped up in a coat, a hat, a scarf, gloves, and boots. Multiply that by eight — or more, depending on the size of the group and the number of staffers — and you see how much time these basic tasks can take up for a preschool staff.
The same goes for nose-blowing, bottom-wiping, and handwashing — preschool staffers are happy to help children who need support, but it affects the setting as a whole.
The years when I worked with children who attempted to put on their own shoes or use the water dispenser without adult assistance were the ones we had the most fun, because there was more time to extend the learning experience.
Teaching your child independence isn't easy. It requires an element of tough love and an enormous amount of patience. But developing these skills at an early age is well worth it.
That said, don't make life hard for yourself. Not many preschoolers are able to fasten overall buckles or shoelaces, so swap them for easier options such as sweatpants and Crocs.
Help them get comfortable with asking for help
Practitioners don't expect every preschooler to come into the setting with all these skills. After all, each child is an individual with their own capabilities.
Encourage your child to ask for help at preschool when needed, but make them aware that they may need to wait their turn, as there are other children at preschool.
Help them develop this patience at home: Rather than dropping everything the minute they ask for a cookie, tell them you need to finish what you're doing first.
Katey Lovell earned a degree in early-childhood studies and spent 21 years working in schools, nurseries, and preschools before leaving education in 2022 to focus on her writing career. She lives with her husband and son in Sheffield, UK.