I had a super chill mom. Her priority was always my happiness.
- My mom was known for being a laid back parent.
- I didn't have to rebel against her rules during my teen years because she trusted me.
My mom is far from a regular mom. Undoubtedly a "cool mom," she was and still is notorious for being a laid-back parent. From facilitating house parties and hosting an impromptu gin-tasting event with a group of my friends to allowing me to get the back of my neck pierced when I was just 16, June George couldn't hold a candle to my mother.
The nonchalant demeanor of a father in a TikTok that recently went viral instantly reminded me of the relationship I have with my mom. The TikTok includes a teen asking a series of hypotheticals to her "non-strict" dad to see how he'd react.
Over a glass of red wine and a shared cigarette, I asked my mom how she would react if I snuck a boy into the house as a teenager. After a short pause, she laughed while reminding me that the exact scenario actually happened once. She came home from work to find me and a "friend" snuggled up on the couch. I froze, but she just told us to get our feet off the cushions and asked the boy I was with to introduce himself. After a few minutes of small talk and demanding to know if he was my boyfriend — he was not — she left us to it, and we never spoke of it again.
She wanted me to try my best
My mom allowed me to make mistakes. She mocked my clumsiness but never raised her voice when I broke a glass or a TV or that one time we had to break into her car because I accidentally locked the keys in the boot. Any fear I had around telling her I messed up wasn't because I was scared of her reaction, only of disappointing her.
But the only way I could disappoint my mom would be by not trying my best. She wasn't concerned with whether I was a straight-A student or not. Her priority has always been my happiness.
While my peers' parents were telling them the only choices they had career-wise were to become doctors, lawyers, or engineers, my mom made it a point to remind me the only person who could make decisions for my own life was me. She allowed me to pick my courses and never pressured me to go to university. There were many occasions I questioned her hands-off approach to parenting. At times, I wondered how much of it was due to a desire for me to become my own person and what was sheer indifference.
Her laid-back approach made our relationship really strong
My mom being a super chill parent has only strengthened our relationship as I've grown up. I didn't go through a rebellious teenage phase because there was nothing to rebel against. The faith we have in one another meant I never really felt I had to lie to her. I could be honest about where I was at 2 a.m. on a Saturday. I could ask to get a piercing, and she'd come instead of me sneaking off to a sketchy shop to do it behind her back. Most importantly, I could talk to her.
I've come to understand her style of parenting is intrinsically built on trust — trusting in me to attempt to make the best decisions for myself. And trusting in her own abilities as a parent to raise me as a self-assured and competent human. If I ever decide to have kids I hope I'll be as chill as she's been. After all, I turned out okay.