I got chauffeured in a $500,000 Rolls-Royce and saw firsthand how nice life is for the .1%

• I got driven in the Rolls-Royce Cullinan SUV and Ghost sedan.
• I was struck by how quiet and peaceful the rides were.

When I got off my six-hour flight from New York to San Francisco, bleary-eyed, sore-tailboned, and slathered in that unique brand of grime only economy-class air travel can provide, I was not particularly eager to ride another two hours to Napa, where Rolls-Royce was hosting journalists to drive its new electric car, the Spectre.

In fact, I was dreading it.

But as I stumbled up the jet bridge and through baggage claim, I at least took some comfort in knowing I'd finish my journey in one of the most luxurious and comfortable vehicles on Earth.

Quietly grumbling about a trip to wine country may have been my first taste of what it's like to be mega-rich. Getting whisked to my destination in a $500,000 Rolls-Royce Cullinan SUV provided an even fuller picture of the good life — and disproved once and for all the notion that you can't get any happier after making $75,000 per year.

The moment the Cullinan's hefty door was shut behind me, I found myself peacefully insulated from the noisy, pedestrian outside world. I said good riddance to the ceaseless drone of the plane, the utter lack of personal space, the funky airport smells — and hello to my serene personal bubble. (I say "was shut" because Rolls-Royce passengers don't close their own doors. They have people for that.)

As we got going, the first thing I noticed was how quiet the Rolls was inside. Even at 55 mph on a fairly busy highway, I could've easily gotten my driver's attention with the faintest whisper of "I'd like to stop at Nobu, please." The usual din of passing cars and trucks was barely audible, which made things extra relaxing.

I sank deep into the pillowy seat and took full advantage of the spacious cabin by stretching out in every direction. Gazing around, I noticed I was sitting in a sea of exquisite materials: supple leather, glistening bits of actual metal, a ceiling that mimics the twinkle of a starry sky, a plethora of sturdy switches.

I started fiddling around with everything in sight in a most un-classy manner, like a small child left to their own devices in an elevator. The thick lambswool floor mats gave me the overwhelming urge to remove my shoes and socks, but I resisted somehow.

Riding through downtown San Francisco, I realized something unusual was happening: Despite driving an ostentatious vehicle the size of an ocean-going vessel, my driver had no problem maneuvering through traffic. It turns out that when you're in a Rolls-Royce, other drivers just let you through. I think that's for two reasons: People want to catch a glimpse of whoever's inside and avoid potential legal action.

At around this point, my sleep deprivation got the better of me and I dozed the rest of the way.

Fortunately, I got another chance to cosplay as a member of the global elite on my way back to SFO two days later. This time I rode in a Ghost sedan (sticker price: around $400,000).

The interior was more classic than the Cullinan's, featuring a forest's worth of wood veneer. A Rolls-Royce's cabin is designed around the back-seat passenger and built to ensure they never have to lift a finger. Before taking off, I pressed a button by my head and my door swung itself shut automatically. When I needed to take a call, I turned down the music using a little scroll wheel right by the window switches.

This time, I took in just how silky smooth a Rolls-Royce feels in motion. The Ghost floated effortlessly down the road, unbothered by imperfections in the pavement that would jostle lesser cars. Every now and then, the sedan bumped around a bit. But on a particularly well-kept stretch of asphalt, the Ghost practically felt like it wasn't touching the ground at all.

It warrants mention that a Rolls-Royce is completely over the top. Nobody needs one. And $400,000 or $500,000 or more is an ungodly amount of money that could surely be spent on the greater good: Like feeding the homeless or buying a BMW for everyone on your block.

But after taking a few rides in a few Rolls-Royces, I have to admit that I get it. I can't relate to having Rolls-Royce money in the slightest, but now I kind of understand why those who can afford it splurge on one once they run out of more sensible purchases to make.

As I approached the airport, I didn't feel quite ready to rejoin the middle class. I hoped some airport worker would see me arrive, assume I was somebody, and at least whisk me to the front of the TSA line.

But no dice. It was back to steerage for me.