I didn't want to know the sex of our baby but my husband did. He kept it a secret until the baby was born.

• Before getting pregnant, I knew I didn't want to my baby's sex until after birth.
• My husband wanted to know, and I knew it would ease his anxiety about becoming a dad.

I always knew that I wanted to be surprised by the sex of my first child, but my husband said he wanted to know the sex. He doesn't like surprises, works as a first responder, and tells me that "surprises" aren't usually a good thing in his line of work. I get it.

While I think most couples would just acquiesce to what the woman wants during her pregnancy, I knew it would make my partner feel more comfortable and less anxious.

Just because I wanted something and he didn't wasn't a sign that it was "my way or the highway." I told him that we could both have it our way.

The only stipulation was that he couldn't tell anyone else about the sex. I didn't want a random coworker or a cashier at the grocery store to know the sex if I didn't. I simply trusted him to keep the secret and not share it with anyone. I never second-guessed that he could do it.

Since I was over 35 years old, we found out about the sex around month four after a blood test. When my doctor's office called to let me know the test results and asked if I wanted to know the sex, I handed the phone to my husband and took a long shower. I didn't want to see his face — thinking if he smiled, it would be a sign it was a boy, and if he had a look of fear, it was a girl.

When I got out of the shower, he seemed calm, relaxed, and happy. I didn't ask him anything.

Everyone wanted my husband to reveal his secret

I think the most entertaining part of the experience for both of us was that people who learned about our "situation" kept trying to get him to tell them the sex.

They'd say, "Your wife will never know!" and "I won't tell anyone." He enjoyed keeping the secret from others and having some information that he could share when the baby was born other than the name, length, and weight.

Perhaps the suspense was the hardest for my mother-in-law, who loves baby clothes and wanted to do some shopping for boys' or girls' clothes throughout my pregnancy.

I was impressed that he didn't slip the entire time we talked about the baby and our future, even after he had a few drinks. He even spent the same amount of time vetoing and agreeing on our baby names for girls and boys.

Since I was never the one who wanted to know the sex, it wasn't difficult for me because I wasn't asking him questions to try to "get it out of him." I just referred to the baby by the pronoun "he" throughout the pregnancy instead of "it" and my husband followed suit.

When my firstborn was born and they quickly handed him to me, I didn't even get to look between his legs before I stared into his face. I said, "What is it?" and the doctor said, "Dad, you tell her." My husband smiled and said, "It's a boy!"

I couldn't have kept it a secret

When I found out I was pregnant with my second, I knew I wanted to know the sex during the pregnancy this time. I wanted to see how the experience felt different — and I kinda wanted to know if I should donate those boys' clothes I had or hold onto them!

When I found out the sex of our second baby — another boy — and waited about five days to tell my parents in person, I realized how hard it must have been to keep the secret. I could barely contain my excitement for a few days; I don't think I would have been as reliable if I were in my husband's position. But he respected my wishes and I respected his. And so far, I think we're doing pretty well with compromise in our marriage.