+

Cookies on the Business Insider India website

Business Insider India has updated its Privacy and Cookie policy. We use cookies to ensure that we give you the better experience on our website. If you continue without changing your settings, we\'ll assume that you are happy to receive all cookies on the Business Insider India website. However, you can change your cookie setting at any time by clicking on our Cookie Policy at any time. You can also see our Privacy Policy.

Close
HomeQuizzoneWhatsappShare Flash Reads
 

I can't give my kids everything, and I've learned to be fine with that

Aug 30, 2022, 20:31 IST
Insider
Courtesy of Chital Mehta
  • As a stay-at-home mom, I am very involved in my children's lives on a daily basis.
  • I sometimes feel pressure to buy my kids expensive gifts when I see other parents doing it.
Advertisement

A friend of mine recently purchased a small jeep that her son could ride on the road. It was red and huge and looked so much like a real jeep that my son went bonkers and demanded that I get him the same thing. It looked great, but I had to let my son know I wouldn't buy the jeep for him.

When I first became a parent seven years ago, I fought the guilt of not buying enough stuff for my baby. I succumbed to the pressure of being that parent who ends up buying everything and anything, thinking that the things will make my baby happy. I ended up buying stuff that my baby could live without.

In fact, most of it was unnecessary.

I don't aspire to be the 'perfect parent'

There are many other things I have crossed off my parenting to-do lists such as planning a trip to Disneyland, throwing themed birthday parties with a lot of guests, setting up personalized bedrooms for the kids, and buying matching footwear and clothing or ten pairs of shoes.

I have found that discarding the notion that I can be a "perfect parent" has made me a happier parent.

Advertisement

My 3-year-old's birthday just passed last month. A friend of mine called and asked if I had picked a theme and chosen a cake. She also asked if I had put up a guest list and then went on to ask if I had purchased goodie bags.

While I love my kids, I didn't think that the only way to show my love was through a fancy, themed birthday party.

For my daughter's birthday, I ended up picking a simple vanilla cake and called three of her friends. My daughter cut the cake and laughed throughout, because she had her favorite people right beside her. We took photographs as a family for keepsakes.

"No party?" asked my friend. "She'll grow up and ask you questions: 'Why you didn't take enough pictures?' She'll ask you why you didn't buy her dresses."

I told my friend that my kids will surely ask me a lot of questions, but I also know that they'll learn to see the things that I did for them.

Advertisement

I am very involved in my kids' lives

As an active, stay-at-home parent, I make it a point to read to them every day. I take the kids out to the park when the weather is great. We also do museums, zoos, beaches, and all other kid-friendly activities that are affordable and close enough for me to drive to. I give them a lot of my time. I make it a point to ask them questions after they come back from school. In turn, I listen to them.

When another parent buys expensive toys for their kids, I do feel a small bubble of pressure growing inside me that I've learned to ignore with practice. Because no matter how hard I try, there will always be something that I can't give my kids or someplace where I won't be able to take them. Money will not be the only problem.

I try to focus on the things that I can do. It doesn't always have to be the electric scooter or the wagon, or the fancy clothes or the long trips. I do small things that help my kids have real fun. Like play with water in the backyard, bubble time, or dancing in the rain.

You are subscribed to notifications!
Looks like you've blocked notifications!
Next Article