- I went to a wedding for the first time in years, and I was uncomfortable watching the first dance.
- The moment seemed way too intimate to share with a crowd.
I've always been a fan of PDA. My partner and I often hold hands when we're in public, and I usually have no issues when other couples get close and personal.
So it came as a huge surprise when I started to feel uncomfortable during the first dance at a wedding recently.
I was my partner's plus one, as he had known the bride for several years.
I hadn't been to a wedding since I was around the age of 7, so I had no idea what to expect other than what I'd seen in TV shows and movies.
I always loved the concept of a first dance and was excited to see it done in real life. Would it be as romantic as all the rom-coms made it out to be?
I was so uncomfortable and couldn't wait for the first dance to be over
For the sake of the couple's privacy, I won't be giving any distinguishable details about them or the wedding during this story.
But I will give some details about the dance, and how I felt as a guest watching it.
The lights dimmed, and the newlyweds danced to a country song while everyone stood in a circle around them. Parts of it seemed to be choreographed, and the couple appeared a little nervous as they looked into one another's eyes.
It was sweet. Romantic. Heartwarming.
And I hated it.
There was nothing remarkable or inappropriate about the dance itself. But as the couple stared at each other lovingly, I couldn't help but feel like none of us guests should have been there. The moment seemed too intimate to share with a crowded room.
Now, I know what you are thinking. Perhaps I only felt awkward because I was a plus one and didn't know the couple well. Or perhaps it's because this was my first wedding in years, and I wasn't used to it.
These two things could very well be true. But my partner had been to a couple of weddings before this one, and he felt the same way about the first dance as I did.
For anyone who doesn't want to dance in front of a crowd, there are alternatives
I used to dream of what it would be like to dance at my future wedding and often thought about which song my partner and I would end up choosing.
But after my recent experience, the idea of having a first dance seems rather intimidating.
I'm not getting married anytime soon. But to those who are and feel the same way about first dances as I do, it could be worth brainstorming some alternatives. If you are the opposite and can't wait to have a first dance, go you! This is by no means my attempt to sway you, but rather to present a wider variety of options that I've been mulling over.
A first dance could be done in private, either before or after the wedding itself. You could even opt to have the first dance on a completely different day from the wedding, which in some ways could make it more special.
I know some newlyweds opt to have their first dance alongside other couples on the dance floor, which sounds like a lot less pressure than having the spotlight only on the bride and groom.
It's becoming more common to break popular wedding traditions and create new trends, with some brides boycotting white dresses and others opting not to walk down the aisle.
When the time comes for me to tie the knot, I know I'll feel comfortable choosing what feels right for myself and my partner, rather than what is the popular trend of the moment. And if that means ditching the first dance, so be it.