- Each year, my family buys Christmas gifts for a family in need.
- I try to choose a family that has kids similar ages to mine.
Eight years ago I was approaching my daughter's first Christmas, stressing about holiday indulgences. I had a limited budget and, more importantly, a belief that my daughter didn't need lots of presents beneath the tree. She was only 6 months old, and could barely sit, let alone open gifts. Plus, as the first grandchild on either side, she had everything she needed and more.
So, instead of buying presents for her, my husband and I shopped for a local family in need. It was part of a program run by a homeless shelter in town. We've since found similar programs through visiting nurses' associations, too, and taken tags off local "giving trees."
I was trying to be selfless, but participating in the program brought me joy every step of the way. I smiled as I picked remote control cars and extra batteries for little boys, and cozy blankets for their mother. I sang along with Christmas tunes as I wrapped the presents, my little girl watching from her bouncer. And on Christmas morning, I glowed as my baby opened her one present — and as I thought about the other children I'd shopped for opening bundles. I knew I had stumbled upon a Christmas tradition that I wanted to share.
'Adopting' a family became part of our Christmas tradition
My husband and I enjoyed the experience so much that the next year we got my mother and siblings on board. None of us needed anything, so we decided that instead of buying for each other, we would buy for people who had unmet wants and needs.
Since then, my extended family has shopped for people in need every year. Working together, we can adopt large families with many kids. It's also a way to sidestep holiday consumerism. I'm not beyond the urge to shop excessively during the holidays. Now, when I feel that urge, I can join forces with the people I love to make someone else's holiday a bit brighter.
We try to shop for kids the same ages as ours
One of my favorite parts about this tradition is that everyone is involved—even the kids. I always request families that have children similar ages to my daughters and nephew — who are 4, 5, and 8. Shopping for someone their age gives my children a base understanding to work from. I hope that they learn to empathize by considering what other kids their age might want.
This isn't a guaranteed approach. Kids, like adults, are inherently selfish. It's hard to take a child to the toy aisle and encourage them to think beyond themselves. Last year, my daughter was three and had a full meltdown in Walmart when she couldn't buy toys for herself.
Those moments make me feel like I'm fighting an uphill battle, but they also reinforce the importance of this choice. It's imperative to me that my kids not only experience holiday joy, but learn the fulfillment that can come when you give joy to others.
Watching my children give is a gift to me
I know my parents struggled to afford Christmas when I was a child. Growing up with financial uncertainty the other 364 days of the year, it was amazing to see gifts stacked beneath the tree for me and my three siblings on Christmas morning. Call it Santa or parental love — I still know there was magic involved.
Now, my kids are growing up with a lot more privilege than I had. By providing opportunities for them to think outside themselves, I hope that I'm connecting them with that magic and teaching them that there's joy in receiving, but that giving is even more powerful. Watching them discover that isn't just a gift to them, but to me too.