GenZ is deliberately going against traditional dating standards as it looks to ‘break free’

• GenZ are conscious of the damaging effects of leading someone on, finds a QuackQuack survey.
• The expectation of men taking the lead in dating is deemed toxic and sexist by 19% of men between the ages of 23 to 26.
• GenZ men between the ages of 18 to 22 acknowledge that there is a delicate balance between persuasion and harassment.

‘The Times They Are a-Changin,’ Bob Dylan famously wrote in 1964. Twenty years later, Freddie Mercury crooned ‘I Want To Break Free’. Cut to 2023, Harry Styles has just completed 170-odd-shows of his ‘Love on Tour’ where he encouraged his audience to “be themselves”. It seems that when it comes to dating, the present generation, or the GenZ, are amalgamating these thoughts as they strive to get out of ‘toxic standards’ set by their predecessors.

In a recent poll conducted by dating app QuackQuack, 18,000 daters from across India were asked about improving the dating experience. The poll revealed that 51% of GenZ daters firmly believe that breaking free from toxic dating standards set by previous generations is essential to forge a new path towards a more comfortable dating environment for all.

One notable observation from the poll is that GenZ participants, particularly those aged between 18 and 26, highlighted the damaging effects of leading someone on with false pretences of interest. Instead, they advocate for honest and kind communication when letting someone down.

Among the participants, 57% are students, 34% are employed, and 9% are working professionals who are simultaneously pursuing higher studies.

No means No

The GenZ daters seem more conscious about equality and are vocal about the importance of respecting boundaries when it comes to dating. For them, a clear "no" means just that - there is no room for persuasion or further attempts to change their mind. This stands in contrast to a trend observed among some millennials, where they persistently try to win someone over, which 37% of GenZ women from metros and smaller cities find toxic.

GenZ men between the ages of 18 to 22 acknowledge that there is a delicate balance between persuasion and harassment when pursuing romantic interests. About 21% of male daters in this age group emphasise the need to be mindful of this line and avoid crossing it.

Why should men always take the lead?

The expectation of men taking the lead in dating, such as making the first move, asking women out, confessing feelings, and proposing, is deemed toxic and sexist by 19% of men between the ages of 23 to 26. They criticise this traditional expectation, which is more prevalent among millennial women than GenZ, as perpetuating gender stereotypes and inequalities.

Moreover, over 26% of female daters from tier 1 and 2 cities expressed their concerns about this trend. They argued that women who expect men to lead should not assume that feminism will support them when they face other sexist challenges in society.

Fights are normal in relationships

According to 33% of GenZ daters from tier 1 and 2 cities, declaring an entire relationship or a person as toxic after just one fight is unwarranted. They stress the importance of being aware of abusive patterns in a relationship, but caution against labelling every minor inconvenience as toxic, a trend they observe among some Millennial daters with limited knowledge about unhealthy behaviours.

These GenZ daters believe that conflicts and disagreements are natural in any relationship. Instead of focusing solely on the presence of a fight, they emphasise the significance of understanding the reasons behind it, the manner in which the conflict is handled, and how the aftermath is managed.

Let’s go dutch!

Another interesting finding is that according to 27% of female daters between the ages of 20 to 24, expecting men to pay the bill on the first date solely because of their gender is seen as perpetuating male chauvinism, and they believe this practice needs to change. While it may have been considered chivalrous in the past by some Millennials, GenZ female daters and modern millennials are actively rejecting this trend and are advocating for splitting the check instead.