Becoming a mom changed all my relationships. But it also gave me new perspectives.

• Becoming a mom changed all the relationships I had before kids.
• My relationships with my parents, siblings, friends, and husband are not the same.

The one theme about motherhood I've never understood, both in real life and in the pages of a novel, is the popular motif of women losing their identities when their babies arrive. The moment I stared into my daughter's big brown eyes was the moment I knew I had found the role of a lifetime: motherhood.

While I've always been a daughter, sister, friend, and wife, the role I play in each of these identities has now forever been altered.

I understood my parents better

Uncertainty and failure both struck me right out of the birthing gate. "Is she supposed to be still crying?" "When do you give up on getting a good burp?" I found myself speed-dialing my mom for basic questions, and these weren't exactly the life-threatening variety.

Karma had a funny way of coming back to enlighten me. I realized I truly couldn't have empathy for my own parents' dilemmas in raising me until my daughter refused to eat anything that didn't resemble a cookie. Now, armed with the wisdom and experience of making parental decisions that aren't so black or white, I instead reserve my judgment for my parents' Netflix choices.

I was able to give my sister advice

My sister's no-frills advice often propelled her into the role of the older sibling, despite the fact that she is three years younger than I am. She had arrived at some larger life milestones well before I had, and her wisdom carried me across decades.

In the motherhood life milestone, however, she became pregnant shortly after I did, and our roles had reversed back to its birth order overnight. I found myself dispensing both solicited and unsolicited advice at all hours of the day simply because I could. I was now a mother who held the answers to some vague and somewhat frightening questions.

I'm not as good a friend as I was before kids

I've always considered myself a dedicated friend — the sort of confidante who would ditch work early to celebrate the happy times and whose phone ringer was never silenced in case a friend got into trouble.

Like most mothers before me, my priorities drastically shifted once I had kids. Having two children in just over two years turned me into a sleepless zombie who couldn't remember her way to brunch. Finding myself perpetually covered in spit-up made me long for the glamorous days of heels and girls' nights out.

Motherhood has shown me that time is, in fact, a cruel thief, and I now need to prioritize who is really worth seeing, given my limited availability. I try my best to avoid missing both the ordinary and extraordinary moments with my girls, but I'm still the loyal friend who is down to hang; just let me add it to my planner first.

My relationship with my husband changed

Parenthood obliterated date nights or spontaneous vacations with my husband.

Daily life with small roommates under the age of 3 has made my marriage feel like we are on a never-ending episode of "The Amazing Race." We are teammates, completing daunting tasks that have pitted us against the bedtime clock. However, we're now mastering different occupations instead of visiting exotic locales. We've been architects: "Barbie's dream house requires every screwdriver except the one we have!" We've been doctors: "Get that out of her nose!" And we've been cleaners: "Is that poop or chocolate on the couch?"

Becoming a mother has left me sleepless, filthy, and in need of a manicure. It has also given me a wide array of new perspectives, though admittedly, I'll still probably continue to lean on my sister's sage advice on picking the best shades of nail polish.