As a travel editor, I vowed kids would never stop me from traveling. But one baby and a terrible trip later, that's exactly what I've done.

• I'm a travel editor who always wanted to have kids.
• My husband and I vowed we wouldn't let having a baby stop us from traveling.

As a travel editor, traveling is a huge part of who I am.

While travel fell apart for everyone amid COVID, the reason I haven't gone anywhere lately is that it's just too hard now that I have a baby.

When my husband and I were still dating, it was easy to vow that this wouldn't happen to us. We both knew people who opted to stay home rather than shepherd screaming kids onto airplanes, or perhaps worse, only booked trips to Disney World. We wouldn't be those parents.

How laughably naive. Because now, a year after welcoming our daughter, Violet, that's exactly what we've done. We quickly realized that wake windows, screaming fits, and extremely delicate sleep were all at risk outside our house.

The trip that made us realize what our new life looked like

Before we reached this conclusion, we embarked on a summer road trip up the California coast with Violet, who was 6 months old at the time. She wasn't mobile yet and took several naps a day. Everyone told us that this was the time to travel.

Violet hated her car seat, and no toy, book, or distraction could comfort her. She didn't care that we chose a top-rated car seat that everyone on the internet loved. She stayed awake for hours, establishing her position as the only baby on earth who won't fall asleep in a car, a stroller, or anywhere.

We tried timing drives with naps, thinking she would sleep eventually. Well, yes, but only after two straight hours of screaming that left us all in tears.

Hotels were tough, too. We re-created routines, bringing Violet's crib sheet, white-noise machine, and favorite books, and packing everything possible to replicate the experience of being at home.

At home, there were other rooms to retreat to when the baby slept. Hotels meant sharing one 300-square-foot hotel space where any movement, whisper, or breath could quickly end a nap.

For this reason, we specifically booked balcony rooms. But the allure of spending all my hard-saved Marriott Bonvoy points to luxuriate at the Ritz-Carlton Laguna Niguel faded as I watched guests lounging by the pool while I was exiled to the terrace.

We tried to make the most of our trip

In Big Sur, I plotted out easy hikes. Once it was too far to turn around, Violet let us know she wanted out of her carrier, and we traded nature's soothing sounds for shrill cries. She calmed only after blowing out her diaper, and we changed her on a boulder as displeased hikers passed by.

Sure, I could book that great Hawaii deal. As long as I don't mind packing four suitcases, a Pack 'n Play, a second umbrella stroller, a carrier, blackout shades, every favorite toy and book, and distractions and snacks for a six-hour flight — and willingly giving up sleep for a week.

But it must be said: My daughter is perfect, and I love her more than life itself. Life is simply hard for a baby. Everything is new and uncomfortable, and routines are sacred. We upended that by prioritizing our desire to travel, and for that, I felt immense guilt. I still do.

While I gave up travel for most of this year and would make the same decision again, I also know that travelers are made, not born. And when it comes to babies, everything is temporary: the infant phase, the sleepless nights, and the pesky aversions.

Now that she's 1, I'm planning to pack up the car to try again — as long as the destination is under a two-hour drive, and we stay in a suite.