As a parent, I cut down on my to-do list and create calm by spending as little effort as possible on chores
- I use wisdom from my grandfather to save time and avoid being overwhelmed by daily household tasks.
- For example, when folding laundry, don't put it back in the basket; just put it right in the drawer.
My grandpa Saul, who had 10 siblings and not much else while growing up in Kolkata, India, always had the best advice. Poor, living in a tiny home all piled on top of each other, he had one pair of pants and one shirt. But he took great pride in his few possessions and kept them folded nicely when he was not using them. When he moved to the United States, he started out as a stock boy for Westinghouse and moved his way up to being a VP. This man knew a thing or two about how to get ahead!
One of the millions of nuggets of wisdom he passed on to me was the idea that you should only touch an item once — or as little as possible. For example:
When you're unpacking groceries, don't stage them on the table; instead, put them right from the bag to the pantry.
When you're folding laundry, don't put the folded laundry back in the basket, having to move it again; instead, put it straight in the drawer.
Limit the number of times you think about a topic. If your thoughts require action, add time on your calendar to do what's needed, like research, following up on an email, problem-solving on a topic, or planning for an event, and in that time, try to get to conclusion and completion as quickly as possible.
Do easy tasks first to wipe them from your mental load
This is another Grandpa Saul nugget of wisdom. The things we do with our time are like deposits into our interest-bearing "future self" bank account. If you do the things now, you won't have to do them later. If you get home from a trip at a decent hour on a Sunday, unpack, run the laundry, fold while watching a family movie or your favorite guilty pleasure show, and reap the benefits of a full wardrobe for the week ahead. For tasks that must get done and you are so damn tired, try to get them over with!
Certain chores are best to do as soon as possible to wipe them from your mental load, like emptying the dishwasher when you notice it's clean — there's nothing like the frustration of opening it when you want to fill it and find a load of clean dishes. Try not to save these more timely chores until you may have more energy because that energy should be saved for something that is more important or requires more brainpower. Throwing a bunch of undies and socks in the hamper requires no mental work. Your future self thanks you in advance!
Our laundry pile is so big, we named it
The never-ending task. Laundry is such a big deal in my house of six, that we've named the laundry pile "Tim." When people come over, we say, "Welcome to our home. These are our children. This is the kitchen. And this is Tim."
It's tough to remember to start laundry in the bustle of a weekday morning. So when it's time to deal with Tim, or whatever you call your own load of laundry, leave a hamper of dirty clothes right by the door, so as soon as you walk in or out it reminds you. Put your first load in the washing machine before you leave to drop the kids off at school or go to work. When you get home, move it from the washer to the dryer before doing anything else.
When the laundry's dry, fold it when it works for you. Try to make it a pleasurable experience. I fold laundry at night after the kids are in bed, and I watch a show or movie or listen to an audiobook. Try zoning out as you fold — the repetitive motion can feel meditative in the same way as knitting. Then, sit back and admire those folding skills!
This system guarantees five loads of laundry can be done in a week. And when you have a system, you will no longer stress about seeing Laundry Tim there in the corner, staring at you with his needy, codependent eyes.
Excerpted from "Chaos to Calm: 5 Ways Busy Parents Can Break Free From Overwhelm" (Collective Book Studio, May 2, 2023). Reprinted with permission from Collective Book Studio.