As a parent, I am starting this school year knowing that I will make mistakes. I plan on doing my best to help my children succeed.

• When I was a kid, my excitement about the new school year would fizzle quickly.
• As a parent, I've tried to have it all together for my daughter, but I remain a frazzled hot mess.

As a child, each back-to-school season heralded the promise of a new beginning: fresh pencils, new lunchbox, clean gradebook. I felt such hope walking through the doors of my school wearing a new-to-me outfit for the first day of school, but inevitably, as the weeks went on, I would forget to turn in an assignment or do poorly on a quiz, and my positive outlook would sour as I gave in to not succeeding, hoping perhaps the next year would be better.

As a parent, I begin each school year committed to having it together. I vow to get all the sports physicals done on time. To turn in the overwhelming packet of forms my children bring home on day one in a timely fashion. I make back-to-school resolutions like it's New Year's Eve: This school year, I will remember gym class day and make sure my daughter is wearing her sneakers. This school year, I will turn in field trip permission slips without email reminders from the teacher. I will check the online gradebook weekly this school year and help my child stay up-to-date on her assignments.

But just like the little girl who gave up being a successful student around Halloween, each year, I remain the frazzled hot mess who neglects to send a note to school the day after my child is home sick. I'm the parent who forgets to schedule the parent/teacher conference until only the really inconvenient times are left. I'm the mom running her child's lunch to school because she forgot to put it in the backpack. Again.

I am in my 15th year of parenting a school-aged child, and I've decided this year is going to be our year. Between COVID and my own health issues, the past few years have been bumpier than average, so I'm digging deep into my youthful optimism and vowing to make this year the school year in which we are organized and on time. Here's how.

I bought a family calendar

This summer, I have started practicing for the school year by taking a few minutes each Sunday evening to jot down the commitments for the upcoming week. Each kid has their own color marker, and I write down the times for soccer practice, dentist appointments, and various summer camp commitments.

I surveyed our existing supplies

With multiple school-aged students, we accumulate more backpacks and lunch bags than most. Before shopping for new items, I've gone through what we currently own and assessed its condition and whether or not it needs to be replaced.

I've created a command center

On the advice of Suzanne Barchers, an accomplished education specialist, I purchased bins for sorting the massive amount of paperwork that crosses our threshold. There are color-coded bins for papers as they arrive, and once school begins, the plan is to sort the papers as they arrive instead of waiting until the papers have taken over my countertop and my child is panicking because she can't find her homework.

My kids and I are having conversations

Leading up to the beginning of the school year, my children and I have had several chats about what we want out of the upcoming year. I don't like to see my kids fail because I remember how difficult it was for me to do so and recover when I was their age, but it's important that parents work with their children, not for their children. According to Barchers, "Parents forget that kids can be responsible. In order for kids to be invested in their own success, they need to participate."

I'm being kind to myself

In past years, I've given up after my first mistake. The first time I forget a form or miss a spirit day, I retreat into failure mode, and I will no longer be that hard on myself. I don't want to model this destructive behavior to my kids. Some failure is OK for us both: it's how we learn. "Post-COVID, we expect just to jump back in and be the same," Barchers said, "Remember that it's been tough, and give yourself a break."

I'm practicing being a lifeline

The school year hasn't started, but while there are no quizzes to study for or homework to turn in, I'm finding ways to practice being there for my kids without taking over. Barchers suggests offering "little rescues" along the way. "Ask your children, how can we break this down and solve this problem?" she said. "If kids know you're on their side, they will come to you for help."