- TikTokers from Australia and the UK described being perturbed by the American use of "mmhmm."
- Americans insisted they weren't being rude, and that "you're welcome" actually feels passive-aggressive.
American TikTokers are explaining to baffled foreigners why they don't say "you're welcome" in the context of customer service interactions, with many feeling that (somewhat counterintuitively) the phrase can come off as rude.
The TikToker Arjuna, who goes by @superdesidrinks, amassed nearly 600,000 views addressing this exact discourse last week. "Someone went viral earlier this week for saying 'you're welcome' in customer service situations," he began his video.
Though he acknowledged "you're welcome" might be the textbook response to "thank you," it "can sometimes feel a little passive-aggressive," he said, adding, "it has this implication of, 'I know, you should be thanking me.'"
While Arjuna didn't name the viral creator he was responding to, another TikToker named Yuval Ben-Hayun sparked a similar conversation in July when he stitched a video of the Australian creator Georgia McCudden complaining about an interaction at an American restaurant (though that clip has since been deleted). In the original TikTok, McCudden recounts saying "thank you" to a restaurant worker who gave her ketchup, whereupon the server responded, "mmhmm."
@superdesidrinks i promise you americans are actually very polite !!! #usa #american #thankyou #yourewelcome #english ♬ original sound - Arjuna
"I was like, 'I beg your fucking pardon,'" McCudden says in the clip. McCudden did not immediately respond to Insider's request for comment.
But she's not alone. Last year, the TikToker Tilly Hokianga, who described herself as an Australian living in America, was similarly perturbed by the "mmhmm" response.
"Like, I just said 'thank you,' say, 'you're welcome,' or 'all good,' or 'no worries," she ranted to over 700,000 likes.
The English TikToker Luke Colson, who said he lives in Los Angeles, made the same observation last November. "That is the weirdest thing," he commented.
In his video, Arjuna said he prefers "uh huh," "no problem," or "don't worry about it" — all of which he explained convey that the act was so small it doesn't warrant a "thank you." But in the case of a more consequential favor, like a kidney donation, he said, "you're welcome" might feel more appropriate.
@yuvaltheterrible You’re welcome? No problem? Turns out we’re all wrong. #english #language #linguistics #rude #etiquette ♬ original sound - Yuval
"If i donated a kidney I would still probably say no problem," one commenter quipped.
Several American commenters noted that their parents used "you're welcome" antagonistically, which has made them completely turned off of the term.
"Lotta millennials grew up with parents using 'You're welcome' as a passive-aggressive reminder to be polite and say thank you," another added. "It's a bit tainted..."
In his video about whether "you're welcome" was rude or polite, Ben-Hayun, a self-described "language enthusiast," pitted Americans who say "you're welcome" or "no problem" against one another, noting that both may feel the other is rude.
"We like to think that the way we naturally speak is the inherently more polite, or more efficient, or smarter way of speaking," he said. "[These feelings] all just really come from having to justify the way we speak 'cause it makes us feel a little bit better."