After years of only hiring women to take care of my children, I hired a man. I was surprised how great it went.

• I used to think au pairs, paid house guests from abroad who look after your kids, were always women.
• So I was surprised to hear that men could work as au pairs, too. They're known as "bro pairs."

My son went on a playdate recently. I casually told the mom that neither my husband nor I were picking him up this time. "Don't worry," I said. "Our 'bro pair' knows your address."

"Huh?" she responded.

"His name is Benjamin," I replied, but she still looked confused. "He's from Chile and he's been staying with us since last year."

I often forget that many people outside the au-pair community haven't heard of "bro pairs." I certainly hadn't before we hired one. Typical au pairs are young women from abroad who provide childcare in exchange for room and board in the US and other countries. "Bro pair" is the affectionate term for the male equivalent.

We recruited our au pair's brother as our bro pair, and he became part of the family

We hired our first au pair — a 25-year-old woman named Bernardita — from Chile in 2020. Our teenager was independent and needed only the occasional ride to and from school or the home of a friend. Her main responsibility was watching our tween. Our son loved Bernardita and she really bonded with him.

She stayed for two years before heading home. It was heartbreaking to see her go. Luckily, her younger brother, Benjamin, had agreed to take her place. We'd met him before when he came to visit Bernardita. He'd helped watch our tween. We had some great photos of him riding on Benjamin's shoulders in New York's Central Park.

"At least Benjamin knows what he's letting himself in for," I thought.

I didn't know whether Bernardita had told Benjamin that our son had occasionally taken advantage of her sweet nature. But the dynamic was a little different this time. He was just as much fun as his sister, but he made a point of laying down the law. Benjamin tactfully suggested we didn't let him get away with not doing much on the days he wasn't working. It would undermine his efforts to make our tween less dependent on adults, he said.

He was more of a disciplinarian than me and my husband. He embraced our son's interests, such as trampolining, video games, and Marvel movies and became a big brother figure, just like Bernardita had been a big sister figure.

Less than 10% of au pairs in the US were male in 2021, research found

Unfortunately, Benjamin told me, there were times when he felt self-conscious. The stigma remained about men caring for other people's children, he said. He said that he got stared down a few times in the changing room at the pool with our son. Unlike most of the parents at our kid's school — whose faculty had gotten used to seeing Benjamin on campus — people looked at him suspiciously when he picked him up from summer camp, he added.

An employee from our au-pair agency said that some agencies wouldn't take applications from young men. She said they were in much less demand and harder to place. The careers website Zippia reported that less than 10% of US au pairs in 2021 were male.

Families who won't entertain the idea of having a bro pair — or a male babysitter in general — are missing out on a great opportunity. These men have a lot to offer.

Still, the meager demand for bro pairs worked in our favor. Benjamin returned to Chile a few weeks ago. I was determined to snag a second bro pair. Competition is high for experienced caregivers. Nearly all the male candidates checked the right boxes.

I read the profile of a bro pair from the Czech Republic. He's a classically trained pianist who'd taught dozens of kids how to play. Both my children wanted to learn how to play the piano. Most importantly, my son thought he was great. He arrives in the fall.