After having our 2nd child, my husband and I decided one of us should stay home. Since I made more money, he became a stay-at-home dad.

• My husband and I spent our first seven years of marriage building our careers.
• When our second child was born, we realized how expensive day care would be.

Sixteen years ago, my husband and I decided to make a big shift for our family.

Peter and I had spent the first seven years of our married life without kids, supporting each other in our separate career goals. When our son was born, we continued to balance it all, but when we welcomed our daughter almost three years later, the reality hit us.

We now had two children under the age of 3 and two demanding career paths — his as a classically trained chef who never had weekends or holidays off, and mine as a creative-agency founder just getting her company off the ground.

On top of this, we discovered that day-care costs for two were not cheap. As we considered our options, we recalled what my husband said jokingly when we became parents: "Whoever is making more money goes back to work."

Back then, I knew in a flash that would be me and I would love that. With our daughter's arrival, it felt like time to revisit the thought.

When we talked it over seriously, things came into perspective. We realized that in paying for day care for two, we'd be making only about $10,000 more a year by having two incomes. I knew I could find a way to fill that gap. And if Peter, who had always been a hands-on, nurturing parent, became a stay-at-home dad, the kids would have an incredible experience. It made sense.

So we did it and it's been amazing. Here is some of what we've learned.

A commitment to partnership and learning is key

Neither of us stagnates. We've made it a priority to keep evolving alongside each other, pushing each other and setting challenges that make us better individually and as a family.

We don't ask each other to grow at the same rates or in the same areas, but we do ask each other to prioritize personal development.

Nothing is ever perfect

Part of my own growth has been letting go of my style of perfection and recognizing a different perfection. I can't expect my husband to do things exactly like I would all the time. But at the end of the day, the kids are happy, and that's what we care about.

A certain amount of money is necessary, but we didn't need as much as we thought

We found early on that we didn't need large amounts of disposable income to make it work — but we did have to make some financial changes and sort through what we did and didn't need. This perspective served us well over the years, even as my income grew.

I'm thankful we could make the financial stretch, and I realize not all families have this option. I think it's also true, though, that many families may not consider it when it may be a realistic possibility.

Thinking outside the societal box can open up your life

It's often assumed that if someone is going to stay home with the kids, it will be the mom. But in our family, we've discovered there's a spectacular power in it being the dad who stays at home. I haven't lost anything in my relationship with my kids through continuing to work — there's a special connection we have as mothers that can't easily be replaced.

Being the sole breadwinner in the family has also taught me as a woman and entrepreneur to fully advocate for myself. My job doesn't simply backfill my spouse's salary, so I don't treat it that way. I show up without compromise, and that's fueled my career trajectory.

I'm thankful we decided to take on this challenge together and make space for a stay-at-home dad in our family. While our path may be a less common choice, it's been a powerful one for us.