- A woman said that her boyfriend is moving out from their shared home to move in with his brother.
- People are suggesting that he is "quiet quitting" the relationship and that they will break up.
A viral TikTok video of a woman saying that her boyfriend is moving out after they have been living together for a year and a half has led to a conversation about relationship norms. Some viewers thought it belied issues for the couple, but a therapist said it could be just the opposite.
In the video posted on September 1, a TikToker who goes by Maiah Police explained the situation, saying that she and her boyfriend, who have been together for three and a half years, are not breaking up because he is moving out, and that they are just moving to a "new phase" in their relationship.
"He's moving in with his brother, and he's always dreamed of living with his little brother. So who am I to get in the way of that?" she said. She told viewers that there is no "traditional contract" that you sign suggesting that you and your partner must live together until marriage, and then have kids.
"Don't get me wrong, when he first told me the idea, I was like, 'Hmmm, what the fuck?'" she said. "As I thought more about it, I was like, 'Wait, this is a great idea.'"
She said that living apart will allow them to spend more intentional time with each other. "Sometimes when you live with your partner, it's easy to exist around each other. It's a fun chapter that I'm ready for. And he's only living like a mile away from me so he's not going too far," she said.
@misssmaiah Replying to @Andrea a new chapter for us! #storytime #boyfriend #livingtogether ♬ Ballet song like "Waltz of flowers" _3 minutes(965255) - yulu-ism project
The video has gone viral, receiving over 6.2 million views and despite the creator's positive outlook on the situation, many viewers appeared skeptical. Several commenters wrote that this is the TikToker's "canon event" — a popular TikTok slang term used to describe an unavoidable life event that builds character.
Some viewers suggested that her boyfriend was moving out before breaking up with her so he doesn't have to deal with the drama after their relationship ends, and others even suggested that her boyfriend is "quiet quitting" their relationship — another popular TikTok term that is often used to describe doing the "bare minimum" at work.
One person wrote, "3.5 years and no ring? And he's moving out? Yeah that's the end." The creator responded to the comment in a follow-up video, in which she showed footage of herself pretending to kick the wall and slam her fists against the floor in slow motion while Taylor Swift's "The Way I Loved You" played in the background.
The video caption reads, "pov: thousands of people are saying your bf is gonna break up with you."
@misssmaiah Replying to @kylie damn we should just throw in the towel #boyfriend #livingtogether ♬ The Way I Loved You (Taylor’s Version) - Taylor Swift
Although the situation is unusual, commenters doubting the relationship aren't necessarily right
Police told Insider that while she expected the video would cause intrigue, the level of attention it generated is beyond what she expected. But she said that she understood why opening up her personal life to the public could lead to people projecting their own experiences onto it.
"My boyfriend wanted me, him, and his little brother to live in a house together. However, I ultimately chose to live by myself because I have some intense sleeping issues that I need to take care of and, right now, our apartment is my living, social, and working space," Police told Insider.
She said, "Relationships can thrive and evolve in various ways, and ours is no exception. We now have thousands of people doubting our relationship and rooting against us, which is not what we expected, but we're just going to continue doing what works best for us."
Couples therapist Dr. Isabelle Morley, based in Boston, Massachusetts, told Insider that she sees "no evidence" that the relationship is in trouble from this video alone, and suggested that Police's "candid analysis of the situation" reveals a lot of emotional maturity and security in their relationship.
She said that viewers' comments about "quiet quitting" showed a "general pervasiveness of the lack of open communication in modern relationships," and suggested that hookup culture has made people feel reluctant to voice their emotions or needs, for fear that they will be seen as "catching feelings," "needy," or "extra."
"The way she describes their decision leads me to believe that they're acknowledging important dreams, discussing the reality of their age and how much time they have for a future together, making reasonable compromises to support each other, and sharing a somewhat non-traditional path for their relationship," said Morely.
She added that more people might benefit from questioning the cultural norms around relationships.
"The joy of living in 2023 is that you have freedom to make any choice for your relationship," she said. "Move in together and then live apart, have kids, and buy a house before you get married, whatever works for your unique relationship."