A woman who saved $10,000 on her Indian wedding said in order to cut costs, you should put yourself first and not compete with other couples

• Indian weddings have become known for their elaborate and often expensive multi-day celebrations.
• In many South Asian cultures, weddings are seen as both sacred rituals and markers of social standing.

Many people know of "big fat Indian weddings" as being lavish, multi-day affairs with lush outfits, elaborate ceremonies, and hours of singing and dancing.

South Asian weddings are steeped in social, cultural, and religious significance. In India, weddings are traditionally seen not only as the sacred union of two families, but also as visible markers of social prestige.

That often comes at a hefty cost. Indian couples are likely to spend a fifth of their lifetime earnings on a wedding, costing anywhere from an equivalent of $6,000 to $600,000 USD, according to a 2016 KPMG survey.

Budgets are usually even bigger with Indian weddings overseas in places like the United States, where venue, labor, and culture-specific costs are typically higher than in India. Many couples in the Indian diaspora have also adopted events that aren't traditionally part of Indian weddings, like bachelor and bachelorette parties and cocktail nights, adding on to the costs.

But some couples are turning away from the expected spectacle of Indian weddings. One woman who spent $28,000 on her South Asian wedding told Insider she cut costs by focusing on what she really wanted rather than following the status quo.

"I find that in our culture, especially in South Asian culture in North America, weddings can almost become a competition. I just want people to get out of that mindset, and remember to put yourself first," Hemali Mistry, who got married in 2021, previously told Insider.

A shift in expectations

Many South Asian millennial couples have also opted for smaller guest lists, forgoing the tradition of inviting 500-or-so guests.

For these couples, weddings have instead become more intimate. Some couples have opted to use the money saved on headcount to splurge on luxurious outfits, food, and decor, while some others have eschewed six-figure weddings entirely.

"A wedding should be about the union between two people rather than a focus on having a grand wedding. I have seen lots of people go into debt to have these grand Indian weddings, and, personally, I don't think it's worth it," Mistry said.

The move away from huge, spectacular Indian weddings signals a shift in priorities among some members of the South Asian community.

"Put yourself first. Put your financial situation first so that you can set yourself up for a better future and step into marriage with the right foot," Mistry told Insider.