- AJ Abelman said she was offered a free trip — and no money — to photograph a
wedding in Cancun. - The
wedding photographer said the bride wanted her to share a room with her employee.
A wedding photographer is speaking out after she said a bride asked her to shoot her
AJ Abelman, 31, a wedding photographer based in Chicago, Illinois, has owned her own business for six years, and is used to traveling all over the country for her work.
But recently, she got a request regarding a destination wedding that made her "blood boil," Abelman said in a TikTok video from February 24.
@ajdoesweddings Things that make me go AGHHHHHHH!!! #greenscreen #weddingtiktok #wedtok #destinationwedding #entrepreneurtok #ShowUsYourDrawers #dontdothis #fyp #notavacay ♬ original sound - AJ the photographer
According to Abelman's
Abelman said the bride expected her to photograph the wedding and a second day trip on a boat for no money, as the bride would pay the cost of Abelman's resort room. In her TikTok, Abelman included a screenshot that purportedly showed an email she received from the bride.
According to the screenshot, the bride said she did not want to hire a local photographer because she didn't want to pay a fee required by the resort for such a service. The bride went on to say it would be "ideal" if everyone on the photography team could share a one-bed hotel room and that she would take into "consideration" the idea of covering their travel costs, according to the same screenshot.
Abelman told Insider she was baffled by the request, as she felt like it undermined the value of her labor — and that of all wedding photographers.
Abelman said she typically charges between $6,000 and $9,000 to shoot
"The travel and the stay is on top of what you would pay for your actual package because I have to fly there instead of drive there," she said, adding that it "would literally cost me money" to work if she had to pay for the flight and lodging.
She was particularly disturbed at the suggestion she would have to share a room with her second shooter. "When was the last time you were asked to share a bed with your boss?" she said.
Abelman also told Insider that the bride appeared to assume her wedding would be a fun experience for her, rather than work.
"My mortgage doesn't stop needing to be paid because I'm on vacation in Mexico, and it's not a vacation if I'm working," Abelman said. "If I want to take a vacation, I want to leave my cameras at home."
Abelman sent the bride a lengthy email response that detailed the work and money that goes into wedding photography, like editing and paying the second shooter. She also shared her response on TikTok with the intention of educating others.
@ajdoesweddings Reply to @alwaystl My response to her email is almost as good as the video #smallbusinesscheck #weddingtok #weddingphotographer #wedtok #destinationwedding #fyoupayme ♬ original sound - AJ the photographer
"Asking creatives to do what they do for a living, for free, for your wedding day is offensive," Abelman said she wrote in response to the bride. "[I] doubt that you'd ask your plumber to fix your pipes in exchange for a date to the movies, or that you'd offer to take your doctor to lunch instead of paying your bill. If you did, they would say what I'm saying: No."
Abelman told Insider she hopes that sharing her experience will make others appreciate the work wedding photographers do more.
"It's an investment in your memories because when the wedding day has ended and the flowers have died and your guests have gone home, the only thing that remains other than your spouse are the photos," she said.
"Making art is a real job," Abelman added. "We deserve to be paid fairly for doing our jobs."