A TikToker spent weeks making a crochet blanket for their girlfriend for Valentine's Day only to get dumped — followers blamed the 'crochet curse'

• A TikToker spent weeks crocheting a Valentine's Day gift only to get dumped on February 12.
• Sydney Howdy had become a victim of what's known as the "crochet curse."

For weeks, Sydney Howdy worked on a handmade crochet blanket as their girlfriend's Valentine's Day gift. They invested hours, spent $150 on yarn, and defended the fragile creation from the destructive attention of their cat, Gum, who only understood that the "toy I'm making her is just getting longer." (Howdy uses they/them pronouns, according to their TikTok account).

Unfortunately, two days before Valentine's Day, Howdy told viewers they'd been "dumped" — a loss many commenters credited to a "crochet curse."

In a February 13 TikTok, Howdy shared the blanked-making process in a montage of progress clips. Starting on January 24, Howdy told viewers they had "the gay audacity" to embark upon the project despite having zero experience in crocheting and a limited amount of time to finish it. They also introduced viewers to the project's antagonist and "number one obstacle," a cat named Gum.

Throughout the TikTok, the "very expensive" blanket slowly evolved. It required much more yarn than Howdy said they'd anticipated and some troubleshooting as they hadn't followed a pattern "because of my hubris."

Finally, in the last few seconds of the video — where a cute gift exchange might otherwise have been slotted — Howdy told viewers that they'd finished the blanket but had just been "dumped" on February 12. Appearing tearful, they said, "the blanket is Gum's now." The video has since been viewed more than 3.4 million times.

Howdy did not immediately respond to Insider's request for comment.

Commenters were quick to console Howdy and congratulate them on learning a new skill, as well as lament that the newcomer probably hadn't known about the "crochet curse."

'The Curse of the Boyfriend Sweater'

Alanna Okun, senior editor at Vox, crafter of 20-plus years, and author of "The Curse of the Boyfriend Sweater: Essays on Crafting," told Insider the lore, most commonly known as the "boyfriend sweater curse," has deep roots in the crafting community.

The curse is such: if you, a crafter, make your partner a big, time-consuming gift, they will break up with you before you give it to them. Or, in some cases, shortly after.

Within the community, knowledge of the curse is simply "in the water supply," and opinions range widely. For Okun, the curse is "only real insofar as it is a collection of other factors."

The dissolution of the relationship, undone by a homemade sweater (or blanket), can occur for a number of reasons.

The gift, which may require months of work and hundreds of dollars, opens up new avenues for relationship tensions to flare and creates an opportunity to reflect on the commitment.

For instance, the knitter may feel underappreciated; Why, after all that effort, doesn't their partner wear the sweater more often? To the partner, the gift may feel inappropriate for their relationship stage. Why did they go through all that effort after only a few months of dating? They might get cold feet.

Alternatively, Okun said, knitters may make such a grand gesture — consciously or not — as an attempt to fix pre-existing issues. For example, if a knitter feels insecure in their relationship, they might feel compelled to create the sweater to "make this person love me," Okun explained.

For Okun, knitting is such a combination of love, labor, and investment that she chafes at the idea of it being purely transactional. When she knits a gift, she tends to stick to the patron saints of pragmatism and lower-level effort, like socks and hats. Everyone needs them, and the utilitarian crowd-pleasers are less likely to take on inflated emotional importance than, say, a sweater that took $300 and four months to make and isn't, in the end, even your partner's style.

But Okun says there's no wrong way to approach crafting.

"I don't think anyone needs to adhere to any rules like these that don't serve them, but if it's a useful guide, then, by all means, do," Okun told Insider. "If someone wants to make a sweater for someone they started dating a week ago, far be it from me to stop them."

The key, it seems, may be to pick a color of yarn you and your partner like — just in case it winds up back in your possession.

Email tips on all things internet to mleighton@insider.com.