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A plus-sized woman criticized slimmer influencers for 'taking up too much space' in the body positivity sphere, and it sparked a huge debate

Rachel Hosie   

A plus-sized woman criticized slimmer influencers for 'taking up too much space' in the body positivity sphere, and it sparked a huge debate
Thelife22 min read
  • Raffela Mancuso sparked a huge discussion when she called out a series of slim women on Instagram for "taking up too much space" in the body positive sphere.
  • Some of the influencers featured, such as Karina Irby, defended themselves, arguing body positivity is for everyone.
  • Another, Danae Mercer, told Insider she was trolled so badly following the post that she had to "step away" from Instagram for a few days.
  • More and more influencers weighed in on the debate, with one saying she was "extremely hurt," while others welcomed her view.
  • Mancuso told Insider she wants slim influencers to be allies to marginalized groups.

Over the past week, a furious debate has erupted in the body positivity sphere online.

The self-love movement has grown and grown in recent years, with more and more people proudly showing off their bodies on social media, encouraging others to embrace their rolls of fat, stretch-marks, cellulite, acne, loose skin, post-partum bodies, bloated stomachs, and more.

While many people have amassed huge followings for doing so, not everyone is entirely happy with them.

Raffela Mancuso, a 24-year-old from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada who now has 24,800 followers, is one such person, and she sparked a huge discussion when she called out a series of slim women for "taking up too much space" in the body positive sphere.

A post shared by Raffela Mancuso [#passthemic] (@raffela_mancuso)

Some of the women featured were upset by her post, others welcomed Mancuso's argument, and anyone who's anyone in the self-love sphere seemingly weighed in on the debate.

Insider spoke to everyone involved to find out what went down, what's happened since, and how influencers may change their content going forward.

Raffela Mancuso called out 'thin' body positive influencers

The debate was kicked off by Mancuso, who describes herself on Instagram as a "mental illness advocate."

Initially on her Instagram story and then as a post, Mancuso shared a series of images of slimmer influencers who highlight body parts such as stomach rolls and cellulite in a bid to help others love their own.

"It really bugs me that thin people are taking up a lot of space in the 'body positivity/self love' corner of the internet," Mancuso wrote.

Hi, hello.⁣ ⁣ Genuinely not trying to shit on anyone here.⁣ ⁣ I really want to call people IN to the conversation, instead of of calling people OUT.⁣ ⁣ We’re all learning and growing, so please take this as helpful information instead of criticism. ⁣ ⁣ Please tag accounts in the comments that need to pass the mic! ⁣ ⁣ Tag accounts that need to be more inclusive!⁣ ⁣ Please share this with anyone and everyone, so that we can continue to have these conversations together and make social media a slightly less shitty place to be ⁣ **EDIT**{ I recognize that I also hold massive privilege in this space. I’m white, able-bodied, cisgender, and I’m a “small fat”. I mentioned it in my stories, but there wasn’t room to add it to my post, so I want to make sure I’m talking about it now. I cannot speak for people of colour, and it’s really important that we listen to all marginalized people and not just me.} ___________________________________ all photos belong to the individual influencer. Last photo is by @lineage_photography __________________________________ #selflove #bodypositivity #iweigh #thinprivilege #bodyliberation #edrecovery #bodyimage #fatbodypositivity

A post shared by Raffela Mancuso [#passthemic] (@raffela_mancuso) on May 20, 2020 at 2:51pm PDT

She said that although there's nothing wrong with what these influencers are doing, and she believes in "self love for everyone," Mancuso's "problem" is that she and other plus-size content creators "don't get half the recognition that slender people do."

"I find that most slender content creators who promote body acceptance have to distort their body in order to show off their 'imperfections,'" Mancuso wrote, alongside an image of influencer Danae Mercer, who has 293,000 followers.

Mancuso went on to share images of Sarah Landry aka The Birds Papaya, Karina Irby, and Mikayla Zazon.

She acknowledged that while "everyone is allowed to be self-conscious," that "unlike these 'influencers,' I can't just 'put away' my problem areas and continue on in the world.

"I don't have the luxury of standing up straight or pulling up my pants and then suddenly fit society's 'ideal beauty standard.'"

Mancuso continued: "Unlike them, I don't have thin privilege. I can't take out my fatness when it's convenient or advantageous for me, and live the rest of my day without scrutiny or being shamed.

"And yet, these accounts have hundreds of thousands of followers. Even millions!"

Mancuso said she thinks people love the accounts she was highlighting because "it allows them to feel good about themselves without having to confront their internalized fat-phobia," and if she posts similar images, she doesn't get any engagement.

Mancuso also lamented the fact that while slimmer influencers "are making big bucks from brand deals," she and others "living in more marginalized bodies who are portraying the same message" are not.

She finished the post by calling on slim influencers to "feature marginalized bodies" on their accounts as well, and on Instagram users to not "only follow slender white women."

Mancuso filmed a follow-up video calling for more diversity of voices

Needless to say, Mancuso's initial post received a lot of attention, so she followed it up with a video to explain her points further.

Are thin people taking up too much space within the body positivity community? ⁣ ⁣ In my opinion, yes.⁣ ⁣ Before you grab your torches and pitchforks, let’s dive into it.⁣ ⁣ Body positivity is not the same thing as “self-love”. Let that sink in.⁣ ⁣ Body positivity was created for fat, women of colour to be seen as equal and deserving of respect.⁣ ⁣ I don’t even belong there! I have white privilege and small-fat privilege.⁣ ⁣ But when we go on social media, who do we see? Slender white women promoting self-love under the disguise of body positivity. ⁣ ⁣ Self-love is for EVERYBODY and every BODY! As humans living in a capitalist society, we have been told our whole lives that our bodies are shit, and that we need to give people our money in order to be happy and loved.⁣ ⁣ Influencers who are showing off their “imperfections” are helping so many people by reducing the stigma surrounding these areas of our bodies. Cellulite, stretch marks, small tummy rolls; all worthy of love and admiration!⁣ ⁣ I follow these creators myself, and I recognize the immense value they are bringing to the table. ⁣ ⁣ So, what about the people who actually belong to the body positivity movement? Where are they?⁣ ⁣ Oh they’re talking, but no one can hear them. That’s why it’s so important that we learn to pass. the. mic! If you have a platform and have the ability to let someone else’s voice be heard, why wouldn’t you?⁣ ⁣ ’ , ’ “” .⁣ ⁣ .⁣ ⁣ .⁣ ⁣ It’s time for us to sit down, and listen to those who are tired of screaming into the abyss.⁣ ⁣ Let’s show them that we care! ♥️⁣

A post shared by Raffela Mancuso [#passthemic] (@raffela_mancuso) on May 22, 2020 at 1:41pm PDT

Mancuso highlighted her own privilege due to being white and "small fat," and acknowledged that what slimmer self-love influencers are doing is "amazing."

"I'm really not trying to say that we need less of these slender influencers in this space, because they're actually helping people, and there are people who look like them, and they are using their platform to highlight that it's OK to have these parts of our bodies that are deemed by society as 'bad' or 'problem areas' which just isn't true, so they are really doing that amazing work," Mancuso said.

Although her initial post was about "the fat community," she added that she would also like to see more people of color, queer people, and people with skin problems, for example.

"Without including marginalized voices in the conversation, one would believe that thin, white women with stretch marks are the epitome of the body positive movement," Mancuso told Insider.

Karina Irby defended her role in the body positivity sphere

Irby, 29, has 1.1 million followers on Instagram and regularly posts pictures that show her dimples, cellulite, and stomach.

The Australian influencer decided to write a post in response to Mancuso's comments and defend her role in the body positivity sphere.

"I believe everyone can, and should, talk about what body positivity means to them," Irby wrote.

Can slender white women talk about body positivity and are they taking up too much space? There is a popular post circulating on this topic and a lot of people keep asking my personal opinion. So, here it is. I believe everyone can, and should, talk about what body positivity means to them. When you publicly put yourself out there, opening yourself up to all sorts of criticism, you’re not just doing it for other people who can relate. You’re doing it for yourself as well. The internet is a huge space and it allows us to see tiny little snippets of peoples lives from all around the world. My story within this space is only about my own personal insecurities and struggles which is chronic eczema, staphylococcalitis, cellulite and bloating. I stay in my lane. I speak what I know and what I’ve personally experienced. Never have I, or will I, preach topics I have never had to deal with. That being said, the more more people who open up and and talk about what body positivity means to them the more bases are being covered. More people are seeing it. More people are relating and more people are feeling accepted. Body positivity isn’t a sport, or a competition, where there can only be one winner. BP is a team building exercise where EVERYONE’S invited and everyone can win, by bettering themselves and their awareness and appreciation of themselves and each other. No matter who you are or what you say or do... every single person walking the earth feels insecure or vulnerable about something to do with their body or appearance. The more that these traits and features are shared and normalised, and people are encouraged to be comfortable in letting their guard down... the world will be a better place.

A post shared by KARINAIRBY (@karinairby) on May 27, 2020 at 5:53pm PDT

She continued: "My story within this space is only about my own personal insecurities and struggles which is chronic eczema, staphylococcalitis, cellulite, and bloating.

"I stay in my lane. I speak what I know and what I've personally experienced. Never have I, or will I, preach topics I have never had to deal with."

Irby went on to encourage others to open up about what body positivity means to them, but added that it isn't a sport or a competition with only one winner.

"No matter who you are or what you say or do ... every single person walking the earth feels insecure or vulnerable about something to do with their body or appearance," she said.

"The more that these traits and features are shared and normalized, and people are encouraged to be comfortable in letting their guard down ... the world will be a better place."

Danae Mercer argues that body positivity is for all shapes and sizes

The influencer featured most heavily in Mancuso's initial post was 33-year-old Mercer, who's built her huge following not only by showing her own "flaws," but also by exposing the tips and tricks many influencers use to contort their bodies for photos on Instagram.

When she saw Mancuso's post, Mercer told Insider she felt "complicated and conflicted."

"I really believe in women empowering women," Mercer said. "Women never tearing another woman down. That we are so much stronger when we stand together and fight as one, and go out into this chaotic world with a united front.

"So something like this, at least initially, was pretty shocking to me. It felt a bit like public shaming. I say this cautiously, because knowing Raffela now, I don't think that was her intention.

"But the package for her message — one that used my images unasked and put some really rough words next to them, like 'distorting their bodies' — isn't really how I would have approached this topic."

Mercer acknowledged that Mancuso likely didn't intend to "trigger" anyone, merely spark debate and discussion, but said she "just wishes it happened in a way that didn't include the packaging of shame around a certain body type."

As well as feeling annoyed by how Mancuso went about spreading her message, Mercer takes umbrage with the argument "that body positivity only has one very certain shape and size, and that all others do not fit in."

She explained that, as someone who has struggled strongly with an eating disorder in the past, the body positivity movement has provided a safe space.

"It's told me I'm welcome and I can come as I am, and my body is OK. And that we can all stand together, in our shapes and sizes, learning to love ourselves," Mercer said. "I feel like all voices are valid."

The trolling that followed made Mercer feel 'sick'

After Mancuso's posts, the influencers she'd called out were hit by a tidal wave of messages, both of support and abuse, many told Insider.

For Mercer, it was so overwhelming that she had to step away from social media for a few days.

"I was getting trolls on my page, plus people were arguing back and forth about me in the comments of her post, and people were sending me the post over WhatsApp (like 'OMG did you see this?!') or other spaces — it all made me feel sick," Mercer told Insider.

"Triggered, really. Because the whole tone was a lot of anger and buzz and mess, and I was still sort of reeling from my images being used, but also trying to learn and understand and see how I could do better."

A post shared by Danae Mercer (@danaemercer)

The trolling, Mercer said, was the worst part.

"They were just so angry in a really mean, deeply personal way," she said.

Mercer is used to a certain level of trolling, but this was different she said, with people really attacking her message.

Not only did Mercer herself feel upset, but many of her followers who are in recovery from eating disorders told her they "felt so ashamed suddenly," she said.

"Because a lot of ED [eating disorders] is linked to shame, and the feeling we shouldn't take up space, we should be quiet, we should be nice and sweet and small.

"So these girls found the whole thing, which seemed to suggest they were taking up too much space in body positivity with their ED struggles, really triggering too."

Mercer said one of her followers told her she'd been about to start her own self love account to share her journey, but didn't think she should now.

"And another told me how she hasn't said anything about her ED to her family, because it's not 'bad enough,' and now maybe she doesn't think she should. So fragile little things like that," Mercer said.

"It was a lot to take in."

Some influencers welcomed Mancuso's opinion

Both Mercer and another influencer called out by Mancuso, Sarah Landry, had private discussions with her following the post, and they told Insider there were no hard feelings and they agree with aspects of Mancuso's opinion.

"I do think some of her argument is so, so very valid," said Mercer, highlighting the approach that slim women like Jameela Jamil often take.

"Jamil notes that if we have privilege, we have a responsibility to help kick down doors and ease the path for people who don't," Mercer said.

"We need to raise them up, lift them up, help. This is where I agree with Raffela's argument. People like myself and Sarah [Landry] and the others, we can help."

Landry, 35, has 1.3 million followers on her account, The Birds Papaya, where she posts about her journey to accepting her postpartum body and learning to love herself again after weight loss and disordered eating.

The Guelph, Ontario-based influencer said she welcomed Mancuso's points.

"As someone who once existed in a larger body, I knew first hand that the experience between those in straight sizes and those in plus sizes was not the same," she told Insider.

"However, initially, I was concerned that the ask was for those in slimmer bodies to stop participating in the conversation, but when I read it with an open heart I realized that's not what was being said or asked at all.

"It wasn't a 'sit down and shut up,' it was a 'hey, can we sit with you?'"

24-year-old Mikayla Zazon, the fourth influencer called out by Mancuso, took the post even more positively.

"I didn't view it as an argument, but more so a call to action of those with influence into a conversation that is necessary, educational, and eye-opening to many around the topic of privilege and marginalized communities (specifically in relation to the body positive community)," the Ohio-based influencer, who has 495,000 followers, told Insider.

"The black community, Indigenous communities, disabled folks, and people of color have very different experiences than white thin women, and it's necessary that we don't lump privileged bodies' experiences with marginalized communities.

"Especially when there is monetary gain to be had."

Zazon added that she actually received a "remarkably positive" response to Mancuso's post, saying that she's "happy that Raffela brought everyone together to create a safe space for a seemingly uncomfortable conversation!"

More body positive voices got involved, some annoyed by Mancuso's post

Before long, more and more influencers were weighing in on the debate.

One of those who brought his voice to the table is John Glaude: The influencer lost 180 pounds and has 419,000 followers on his Obese to Beast Instagram account, where he documents his fitness journey and shares his experiences with having loose skin.

Glaude posted a video on his YouTube channel in response to Mancuso's post, explaining why he disagrees with her.

The 27-year-old, who's based in San Diego, told Insider that he was "more confused than anything" when he first saw Mancuso's post.

"Overall my thoughts are that body positivity is for everyone," Glaude told Insider. "Gate-keeping something as basic as that seems pedantic to me.

"As far as it being appropriated by slim white women, I can see how it can be frustrating to see them get more attention. I do see that frustration there. That being said, I still think body positivity is for everyone."

Glaude feels passionately about body positivity because of the loose skin he has from his weight loss.

"Loose skin isn't talked about much, so those that have it deal with a ton of shame," he said.

"I want to help people understand it is totally normal to have loose skin, and you should be able to be body positive about it. Just like anyone has the right to be body positive."

Some were outright outraged

Gaude was by no means the only body positive influencer who felt compelled to speak out in response to Mancuso's post.

Another person who felt riled up by her comments was 25-year-old Kassi Mansfield, who has 482,000 followers.

"I was mad. Hurt. Emotional," the San Antonio-based influencer told Insider.

A post shared by Kassi Mansfield (@kassimansfield)

"As someone who is, in her words, 'thin privileged,' I was hurt," she continued.

"I have had two massive pregnancies and have worked very hard to be where I am. Yet I still struggle a lot with my body and am very vocal about that."

Mansfield said she posts her images because she wants to normalize post-partum bodies and help women. "And for to feel wrong for doing that because I'm 'small' is not OK," she added.

Mansfield, like Mercer, said she understands the message, but believes Mancuso went about it the wrong way.

"Bashing other women was not the answer. And a lot of hate was sent towards those pages, which is not OK," Mansfield said.

"The women she posted have helped me in my life, and it's not OK for her to tell me that my emotions or their emotions aren't valid."

Others agreed with Mancuso and took her points on board

For every slim body positive influencer who felt shamed, attacked, or angered by Mancuso's post, there were others who welcomed her points and agreed that they needed to do more.

One such person is 25-year-old Victoria Spence, whose 102,000 follower-strong account is dedicated to helping "every woman to feel good about themselves."

While she was initially upset on behalf of the influencers in Mancuso's post, Spence told Insider she then began to understand where Mancuso was coming from.

FIRST EVER #IHateRunning virtual Charity 5k happened this morning and I’m SO bloody proud of everyone from the Mo Farrahs, to the First timers, to the PBers, to the Half-walk half- joggers‍♀️ When I say I ‘hate’ running, I guess what I really mean is I hate that I find it so hard, like sometimes I feel like I’m going to have a heart attack and like my legs are going to implode, but I love that I’m able to remind myself that I can do hard things. I love how Inclusive and accessible running is and I love the sense of achievement after it‍♀️ Thank you too all of the 1.5k people that make up the #Ihaterunning crew for inspiring me ever week and for turning what was once a lonely 1 man crew into and actual full on crew‍♀️ #runner#parkrun#marathontraining#happy#saturday#grateful

A post shared by Victoria Niamh Spence (@victorianiamh) on May 16, 2020 at 4:11am PDT

"I agree that thin white people are taking up far too much space in the 'body positivity' space, because it wasn't created for thin white people, it was created for fat black women to celebrate and showcase people in marginalized bodies," she told Insider.

"Somewhere, somehow this messaging has gotten skewed and now thin white people are using it a lot.

"I do however think that the 'self-love' movement is for everybody and I'd encourage everybody to take up as much space as they like — self-love has no limits and there is enough to go around for everybody."

Spence, who's from Manchester in the UK, also agrees that slim people are given more opportunities and tend to have bigger platforms.

While she isn't planning on changing her posts going forward, she said she is going to try and include more women who don't look like her.

"I think that Rafella was very brave and she has stopped people in their tracks and started a conversation that needed to be had. So I say hats off to her," Spence said.

Mancuso wants slim influencers to be allies to marginalized groups

Mancuso spoke to Insider to explain that ultimately, she just wants marginalized voices to be given a greater platform, and she believes slim influencers with large followings have a responsibility to help do that.

"Without including marginalized voices in the conversation, one would believe that thin, white women with stretch marks are the epitome of the body positive movement," she told Insider.

"I think that once someone is able to acknowledge the privilege that they hold, they are then able to see that their experience isn't the only experience. Acknowledging one's privilege isn't enough, it's just the stepping-stone to being able to amplify voices other than your own."

This is the look I give when people say that “privilege” doesn’t exist ⁣ ⁣ We all have SOME type of privilege in this world.⁣ ⁣ For me, I’m white, able-bodied, cisgender, straight... and I benefit from all of those things.⁣ ⁣ I’m not discriminated against because of the colour of my skin, I’m not denied entry somewhere due to a lack of accessibility, I’m not told that who I love is wrong.. The list just goes on and on.⁣ ⁣ It helps to acknowledge these privileges so that I can be more empathetic and compassionate to those who DON’T have those privileges.⁣ ⁣ If someone doesn’t have those privileges, is their voice being heard? Are we listening to what they need?⁣ ⁣ My friends, it’s time to pass the mic! ⁣ _______________________________________ set gifted by @moonsandjunesofficial _______________________________________ ⁣ #privilege #accidentallywentviral #passthemic #listentopoc #jameelagate #plussize #fatacceptance

A post shared by Raffela Mancuso [#passthemic] (@raffela_mancuso) on May 25, 2020 at 3:18pm PDT

Mancuso clarified that she's not asking for slim influencers to talk about issues they don't have experience of, but she wants them to share their own stories then "pass the mic" to someone "who is unable to be heard without it."

"Influencers can definitely be allies to marginalized groups, but they should never speak for them. The key to being a good ally is to amplify a voice or message without centering it around yourself," Mancuso said.

"It's great if an influencer wants to acknowledge that fat people face hardships daily, and then they should also pass the mic so that the community can speak for themselves.

"I want to see influencers with large platforms use their power for good. I want influencers to listen. I want influencers to recognize that their voice isn't the only one that matters, and that we all need to work together in order to help empower others.

"I don't want them to stop posting about their own insecurities, because that helps a lot of people, instead I want them to recognize that they have massive privilege in this world while others may not."

The influencers ultimately want to work together to create positive change

Landry said she has come away from the saga hoping it will lead to positive change.

"This conversation is about building longer tables, not taller fences," she said. "The more we recognize where a lot of the hurt, anger, and frustration is stemming from, we can all take a moment to listen, and fight for equal rights for those in marginalized bodies who are not being heard.

"For those, like me, who have had a positive experience sharing in the body conversations and pushing against societal norms, while valid and helpful for many, can also recognize where we have privilege."

Mercer acknowledged that the whole situation is very complicated and said she hopes never again to experience a weekend like she did following the furor.

"I suppose ultimately, what's been tough for me is that this isn't a conversation I would have had in this way. I sort of prefer the idea of women banding together behind the scenes then coming out with something as one.

"Hopefully, once the dust settles, Raffela can mold this into something strong and positive. Folks need to get off the pedantics of 'Yes you're body positive,' 'No you're not!' and into the 'OK, let's stop worrying about words, how can we help actually make a change?'

"Raffela's lit the fuse and the energy is there, and she has some really incredible names behind her, like Sarah, so I do think it's possible that a lot of good will come out of this."

Mercer knows that plenty of plus-sized people loved Mancuso's post and says the whole experience "has been a very powerful, very positive learning" opportunity.

"I think body positivity is stronger when we stand together — those of us with privilege aware of it, and using that to kick down doors for marginalized groups, all of us fighting as one for self-love and social justice and so many other things," she said.

"It's about inclusivity, and every person, with their own story and struggles, their voice matters."

Read more:

A journalist is exposing the ridiculous ways influencers contort their bodies to completely change how they look in Instagram photos

Meet Hayley Madigan, the body positive fitness influencer showing that even the fittest, strongest bodies have cellulite too

The fittest woman in the world struggled to love her body when she first started gaining muscle — here's how she learned to embrace her strong physique

Read the original article on Insider

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