A man posted a video about how he 'started looking better' after he got a girlfriend. He had no idea it spawned a controversial trend.

• Gabe Escobar shared how his girlfriend helped improve his style on TikTok.
• His story blew up, and a trend about the "girlfriend effect" became hugely popular on the app.

Gabe Escobar says he has matured and grown a lot since he got into a relationship, but the change that got millions of people's attention was the difference in his fashion choices.

In August, the 21-year-old content creator and student posted two videos on TikTok explaining how his sense of style developed over time thanks to advice from his girlfriend.

From taking up her suggestion to grow out his hair to drawing inspiration from Pinterest photos she sent him of possible looks while he was shopping abroad, Escobar underwent a drastic style transformation and has acquired a largely new wardrobe since entering into his relationship in July 2022.

Escobar's story went viral on TikTok, and the phrase he used to describe his journey, "the girlfriend effect" has now sparked a widespread discussion about the transformational power of relationships.

'The girlfriend effect' has become the basis of a viral trend on TikTok, much to Escobar's surprise

Escobar shared his first post about his fashion journey after coming across another creator on TikTok, @lashehole1, talking about "girlfriend air," a popular theory on the app that after being around or spending time with a girlfriend, men tend to pick up behaviors from them that enhance their appearance or lifestyle. It is the counterpart to "boyfriend air," the online term often used to refer to a girlfriend putting less effort into her appearance after being around her boyfriend.

Escobar told Insider he related the way the creator described "girlfriend air," and on August 27, he posted a stitch of their video to talk about how he felt his appearance has improved since he got into a relationship, receiving 3.2 million views on the clip.

On August 31, he posted a follow-up video, sharing more details about how his style developed over time after he began asking his girlfriend for advice, saying that after dating for just a month and a half he'd already "started looking better."

Escobar's second video blew up, becoming his most-watched video to date with 20.7 million views.

While Escobar used the hashtag #girlfriendair, in reference to the existing popular term, in the caption under the TikTok, he titled the mega-viral video "the girlfriend effect," telling Insider he didn't put much thought into the phrase at the time but came up with it because he felt it aptly described his experience.

Over the following days, other creators began using the term "girlfriend effect" to discuss how their own or their boyfriends' appearances have changed since being in a relationship, and within weeks, the term was the basis of a hugely popular trend format on the app.

The trend, which appears to have been created by TikTok influencer Aileen Christine involves creators showcasing photos of their boyfriends from before they were dating them, and then revealing recent photos of them, suggesting they found them more attractive.

Hundreds of videos have now been posted using the same format, sparking discussions among commenters about whether they feel the drastic differences attributed to the "girlfriend effect" are visible in their own relationships or not. Some videos in this format use the term "girlfriend air" instead of "girlfriend effect."

While it is often difficult to say with certainty how trends originate on the app due to the way ideas and formats can spread very quickly, Escobar's video about the "girlfriend effect" appears to be one of the earliest videos on TikTok to use this specific terminology, and it is also more viral than previous videos which used the phrase by far.

Escobar told Insider he was surprised but pleased to discover that the term "girlfriend effect" had become a hugely viral trend.

"I think it's sort of funny to see all these girlfriends saying that they've done the same with their boyfriends," he told Insider.

Escobar addressed concerns that the 'girlfriend effect' implies controlling behavior

Many users appear to have found the "girlfriend effect" trend relatable, but a handful of users expressed concerns about it, suggesting that it was "unhealthy" to treat boyfriends as projects or to suggest that they don't think men should be changing themselves purely for their partner. "Girlfriend air" has also been the subject of similar criticism.

Escobar told Insider that his own experience with the "girlfriend effect" has been hugely positive, and he addressed some criticism against the term in a TikTok video on September 27, acknowledge that there may be cases where someone felt pressured to change their appearance by a partner, but that this wasn't his situation.

"I wanted to add a little bit of clarity to my personal experience with it and the fact that I have never felt forced to wear any clothes or forced to change my style. I was shown a style that I prefer," he told Insider.

He said he would not support any kind of coersion regarding a partner's appearance, and encouraged those who are offering partners guidance on fashion to "always keep in mind that your partner is not a Ken doll to customize or a Barbie doll to customize," and consider their partners' own opinions or sense of style.

"I don't think people should be forced to change into anything. I certainly haven't," he said, adding, "I think people should still feel like they have some agency over their clothes and agency over how they customize how they look."

For more stories like this, check out coverage from Insider's Digital Culture team here.