Thelife- Cora Breilein held an intimate, 96-person wedding on April 22.
- She posted a TikTok about her wedding site's FAQs, and faced a barrage of hate online.
Cora Breilein never wanted a big wedding.
The 28-year-old event planner and her husband, Jared, wanted to elope — and invited 96 people to an intimate "friends and family barbeque" in Glen Ellen, California, for their big day. To fit the venue, the pair made tough cuts to plus-ones that Breilein said resulted in the loss of a seven-year friendship and a barrage of online criticism.
Breilein posted a short slideshow of her wedding website FAQs in a May 1 TikTok, hoping, she told Insider, to reach other brides. Within days, though, the TikTok had been viewed more than 4.8 million times — and Breilein said the exposure came with much online hate.
Since then, Breilein appears to have filtered comments.
Breilein's wedding day FAQs included some innocuous details about parking and accommodations. More contentiously, the FAQs told guests that anyone late to the event wouldn't be permitted entrance, asked them not to take pictures on their phones during the ceremony, and requested guests avoid wearing loud colors. In one slide, Breilein said that her decision not to extend a plus-one to a boyfriend she'd never met ended a friendship of more than seven years.
Some said the latter decision was "pure insanity," but Breilein added that the unmarried or unknown partners of their closest friends — like fiancés — were invited; "We didn't want to meet anyone for the first time at our wedding," Breilein said, "with the caveat that if they are going to be in our lives long-term — that would absolutely be alright." This friendship, Breilein said, had grown less close throughout the pandemic. The invite was symbolic: "I still want you to be in my life."
"There's a big difference between a friendship in which you talk to them every day — they're in your lives, you're going to raise your kids together — versus one where there's maybe some post-pandemic awkwardness."
Ultimately, the friend declined the invite, and the pair haven't talked since.
Many commenters said they agreed with Breilein's decision, sharing stories of similar experiences. Breilein said the loss of a friendship after a wedding was "very common" amongst the brides she'd worked with.
Some criticized Breilein for not allowing late guests to join the wedding ceremony. But, she said, a grand staircase in her venue would have made the interruption exceedingly obvious, and the ceremony itself lasted just ten minutes. Late guests weren't kicked out — they were escorted to a private area and got early access to the bar and snacks. "If you were late, it was probably really fun," Breilein said in a May 2 TikTok.
@corabrei Ppl be taking this wedding way too personally #wedding #weddingfaqs #weddingtiktok #weddingday #weddingguest #weddingguests #tiktokcomments #weddingwebsitetips #mintedwedding #bride #bridetok #pedropascal #bridaltiktok #weddingplanning #2023bride #2024bride #weddingplanningtips #weddingthings ♬ New Home by Austin Farwell - GetByBus
Despite feeling like she'd been "eaten alive" and by the internet for a few days, Breilein doesn't regret any of her wedding day guidelines which, in her professional experience, were par for the course. Many commenters also rushed to defend her, agreeing that she'd asked for "basic wedding etiquette" from her guests.
@corabrei This is your sign to hand out disposable cameras at your wedding (tamer pics on IG ) #wedding #weddingtiktok #weddingtips #weddingday #weddingvibes #disposablecamera #disposables #disposablecameras #weddingphoto #weddingphotos #weddingphotobooth #weddingtrend #weddingtrends #2023bride #2024bride #bridetobe #bridal #weddingguest #weddingguestdress #weddingfaqs #hangovertrend ♬ original sound - Cora Breilein
By design, her wedding day was different; "The fact that we knew every single person there and I was able to belly laugh — that made it feel so special, and it was so worth it."