9 ways you're making your wedding look cheap, according to a luxury planner

Ritchie is a luxury wedding planner and one of the principal designers at Grit & Grace based in the Washington, DC, area.

She has worked in the wedding industry for 15 years, and her experience has given her insight into what constitutes a true luxury wedding.

"Many people would say that the monetary side of a wedding would define it as being luxury," she said.

"What I consider luxury is the experience and the thoughtfulness and the personalization that sets an event apart. Something that's more reflective of the clients themselves; something that tells a story," she went on to say. "But to me, the experience of the guest is what makes it luxury."

As Ritchie told Insider, you can't have a luxury wedding without creating an incredible party experience for your guests, and people often cut the details that make an event fun for attendees when trying to stick to their wedding budget.

Insider spoke to Ritchie about the most common ways people make their weddings feel cheap instead of high-end for their guests — and the simple switches they can make to take their events to the next level.

"Your wedding is the one time to actually do a real invitation with proper etiquette," Ritchie told Insider.

A paper invitation helps set the tone for your wedding, as you want to differentiate it from any other party in your life, Ritchie said.

"It's not like we live in an era where you're getting a dinner invitation via paper," she said. "Everything is virtual."

She also said a paper invitation shows guests you've put thought into their presence at the event.

"You took the time to be thoughtful, put it in the mail, et cetera," Ritchie added.

It might not be the most exciting thing to spend your wedding budget on, but Ritchie said prioritizing transportation in the form of buses or cars for your guests is important.

"When you don't provide transportation to your guests, it really feels like you have not thought about them whatsoever," Ritchie said.

"Now, of course, there are ways around that if the wedding is at the hotel and everyone can stay at the hotel, great," she went on to say. "But if your wedding is at a vineyard and you're planning on everybody drinking for six hours and then driving back on windy roads and there's no Uber, how are they supposed to get there and get back safely?"

The lack of convenience will impede guests' ability to enjoy the wedding, as they will be worried about how they will get home or may even leave early. Ritchie said forgoing transportation can make your guests feel like an afterthought, which is the last thing they should be on your wedding day.

"It feels very cheap when people forget that part of the puzzle, and it's not fun but it's necessary," she added.

Many people turn to DIY projects for their weddings, buying affordable vases or centerpieces from bulk stores. Although those purchases may save you a bit of money, Ritchie said they don't typically translate into a luxury look for your wedding day.

"Things that look cheap are things that are generic," Ritchie said. "Something that was bought on the clearance rack at Michaels or Hobby Lobby does not translate to a thoughtful, well-done event."

"Though you might have saved money, it looks cheap because it is cheap," she added.

Instead, Ritchie recommends renting decor "from professionals who can curate and create something much better and well thought out."

You can spend your money on a few quality items rather than multiple, lesser pieces.

Weddings can have varying levels of formality, from casual to white tie, but Ritchie said it's important that the wedding party and immediate family of the couple are the most dressed-up people at the event.

"If you're saying that you want black tie and for your guests to show up in their finest attire but your bridesmaids are wearing minidresses, that does not go together," Ritchie said.

Your guests may feel uncomfortable or frustrated they spent money on a ball gown or a tuxedo after seeing the wedding party in more casual attire, which isn't conducive to a fun vibe at the event.

"You're setting the tone for everybody else," Ritchie said.

Flowers are one of the most expensive parts of weddings, so many couples have begun using their arrangements for multiple purposes in recent years. Specifically, the bridesmaids' bouquets turn into centerpieces at the receptions for many weddings.

Although Ritchie likes the idea of repurposing those bouquets later in the event, she said they don't look right as centerpieces.

"The scale of what a bouquet shape and size is compared to a five or six-foot round table does not match," Ritchie said.

"You wouldn't hang a coaster on a wall as artwork, as you wouldn't put a bouquet on a table as a centerpiece," she went on to say. "If you're really looking to cut something here, that's not the place to do it by repurposing. The height, shape, and scale are just a no."

Ritchie said you can also save money on flowers by not having bouquets for your bridesmaids at all.

"Have them walk down the aisle with the groomsmen if you're really strapped for cash," she said of bridesmaids, giving you the opportunity to spend money on flowers for the reception instead.

It may seem simpler not to make a seating chart, but Ritchie said it's important to make your reception feel more elevated.

"You didn't even take the time to give your guest direction," she said of how a lack of seating chart will feel for guests. "Guests want to know where they're going. They want to know what's happening next. They want an assigned seat. They want to feel loved."

She said what typically happens when guests enter a reception that doesn't have assigned seating is they "cow pile into this room and then it's a mad dash to find a seat with somebody you know."

You don't want your reception to feel chaotic or for your guests to feel distressed, so it's best to create a seating chart, even though it can be time-consuming.

"The thoughtfulness of creating a home base for that guest for the night that's theirs really sends the right message," Ritchie said.

Although buffets are popular at weddings, Ritchie doesn't recommend them if you want your wedding to feel luxurious.

"It's less thoughtful," she said of buffets, adding that they have "cafeteria vibes."

"You've asked everyone to come in their finest attire to your special day and then you want them to go through a line with a plate for mashed potatoes and strips of steak," she added. "They just don't really go hand in hand."

"I think there's a time and place for a buffet, like a barbecue or something that's more casual. On your wedding day, being a little bit more thoughtful about the experience and the scope of what's happening is really important," Ritchie added. "A buffet gets messy and disgusting within minutes of it being touched. So visually it's also unappealing."

Ritchie also said buffets aren't the ideal way to cost cut for your wedding because they can sometimes be more expensive than a plated meal.

"A buffet is providing way more food than if you knew you had 100 guests," she said. You may have to pay for more waitstaff if you serve a plated dinner, but the food itself will be more expensive at a buffet.

If you want your wedding to feel high-end, a plated dinner is the way to go, according to Ritchie.

Open bars can be costly, but Ritchie said making your guests pay cash for alcoholic drinks at your wedding is "awful."

"You don't want to put your guests out that are already making their way to your wedding on their own dime," she said.

Ritchie went on to say you don't have to provide top-shelf liquor to your guests to make the event feel luxurious.

"Maybe you can't have a full open bar with liquor, beer, wine, a champagne tower, and specialty cocktails, but do not go the cash-bar route," she said. "Maybe you find a middle ground where it's just beer and wine."

"People will be completely fine with that," she added. "You don't need to stretch and strain in places that aren't comfortable."

As Ritchie told Insider, the guest experience should be high on your priority list for your wedding, particularly if you want the event to have a more luxurious feel. For many couples, that may mean inviting fewer people than you originally anticipated.

"If you are more budget-conscious, we encourage you to get your headcount down to must-haves," Ritchie said. "More people always equals more money and more problems like Biggie Smalls said."

Ritchie said wedding planners know that cutting a guest list can feel difficult for couples who have large families or big groups of friends, but a smaller guest list is one of the best ways to decrease the cost of your wedding.

"It doesn't really matter if you're just doing a barbecue buffet or if you're doing a plated meal, if you have more guests, that line item is exponentially multiplied by those guests," she said.