7 mistakes young couples make when planning a wedding, according to a celebrity wedding planner
Erin McDowell
- Insider spoke with celebrity wedding planner Stefanie Cove about her biggest tips for young couples.
- Hiring a day-of coordinator and creating a detailed itinerary can help your big day run smoothly.
Allowing guests — or even the couples themselves— to use their phones during the wedding ceremony or other special moments can tarnish your big day.
Even if you're a part of the social media generation, it might be a good idea to ask your guests to put their phones away at the ceremony or during other special moments to ensure you get the best professional photos possible, and so that you as a couple and your guests are fully present in what's happening.
"There's so much to say about being present on the wedding day, both for couples and guests," Stefanie Cove told Insider. "There's nothing that bothers me more than seeing a bride walk down the aisle on her wedding day and then seeing 200 people holding up their phones to take a picture."
Stefanie Cove, a Los Angeles-based celebrity wedding planner who has planned weddings and events for Karlie Kloss, Drew Barrymore, and Anne Hathaway, is accustomed to working with clients who often require privacy measures like phone checks and non-disclosure agreements to prevent details getting out about the wedding.
"I think it's a great idea before the processional to ask people not to use their phones during the ceremony," she continued. "I think there's a lot to be said for people trying to limit social media throughout the night so that a couple can be fully present with their guests on the night, instead of taking photos for Instagram."
Not hiring a wedding planner, day-of coordinator, or asking a guest to help handle issues can lead to a crisis on the big day.
If your budget doesn't allow for a full-spectrum wedding planner, a day-of coordinator or even a trusted member of the wedding planner can help troubleshoot any issues that arise.
"Every family has its own drama. As a couple, you can only deal with as much of it as you absolutely need to. Once you get to that wedding week, you have to walk away from it and let it go. You will not enjoy yourself if you're concerning yourself with that the entire weekend," Cove told Insider.
"Somebody, whether it's a sister, a best friend, or a wedding planner, should help handle any situations that arise to prevent the bride or groom from knowing about any issues going on, to an extent," she continued. "You only get this one day, and it goes by really quickly."
Cove also explained that whether a couple is dealing with a complicated family situation or when it comes to celebrity clients, paparazzi or outside criticism, you have to take the one day and enjoy it for yourself.
"Even if a full wedding planner isn't in your budget, a day-of coordinator can help deal with the little things like family issues, photos, and just getting you down the aisle," she said. "It's really hard to enjoy the day when you're doing it all yourself."
Miscommunication and surprises can disrupt the flow of events.
Communicating any surprises or things that could upset the schedule of the wedding to your wedding planner or your vendors prior to the wedding day is important to keep things running smoothly.
Whether the mother or father of the bride has planned a surprise serenade or the couple wants to surprise their guests with entertainment during cocktail hour, it's important to factor in how every element of the day might lead to things running off schedule.
"Everything affects something else," Cove said, and so couples or the wedding planner should ideally be aware of any surprises.
Spontaneity can be fun, but having no schedule can lead to unneeded stress.
Make a detailed itinerary of the day and the timing of how you want each item to proceed, from the length of the ceremony to when you want to serve dinner.
"We do 20-page-long schedules, but not everyone needs to [be that detailed]," Cove said. "We prepare and plan every possible detail so that when we're there, anything that comes up — expected or unexpected — we have a plan for. When you're doing everything on the fly, it's harder time everything and make sure guests are having a good time."
Young couples might forget to keep their budget in mind when booking vendors off their wish list.
Make sure to keep your budget in mind before booking any pricey vendors you might come across on social media.
"A lot of young couples are getting ideas from social media and seeing vendors they want at their own weddings. For example, they might find a very well-known band or photographer and be afraid of missing out on them," Cove told Insider.
"They'll immediately decide to book them and pay whatever the cost is without even considering their total budget yet. Maybe that vendor was their entire budget," she continued. "I think young couples need to take time and look at their budget before making any decisions or signing any contracts."
Forgetting about the logistics of your venue can spell disaster.
Cove encourages younger couples to really consider the logistics of your venue, especially when it comes to the age demographic of the guests attending. Ensuring that all of your guests are comfortable, above all else, will guarantee that everyone is having a great time.
For example, while a beach wedding in mid-July might be your dream, asking older guests to sit in the hot sun during the ceremony may not be feasible. Remote wedding venues can pose other issues when it comes to guests being comfortable.
"If you're holding the wedding on a beautiful mountain, you have to consider the walking element," she said. "Will your older guests be comfortable in a shuttle going up a curvy road? Are you even offering transportation at all? Where are the nearest hotels? It might be a beautiful venue, but do you want your guests to be in a shuttle for hours each way? That can be a pretty big buzzkill, in my opinion, no matter what age. You have to consider your location and how comfortable it will be for your guests."
It's important to remember the budget of your guests as well, especially if you've decided on a destination wedding.
"If a lot of your guests are in their 20s, they may not have the budget to spend thousands of dollars to attend a destination wedding," Cove explained. "If your guests are in their 40s, maybe at that point in their life they do. You need to look at what works for everyone, to some extent, and decide if you're okay with not having all of the people you've invited attend because of financial reasons and logistics."
Cove said that while a destination wedding might be desirable, another more feasible option might be choosing a venue in the United States that evokes your desired destination abroad, but is a one-stop flight or less so that guests can get there without driving long distances, taking a boat, or other more complicated means of travel.
However, Cove also explained that when it comes to destination events, people are less afraid to travel this year than they were during the height of the pandemic and before many travel restrictions were lifted.
"People want to be together," she said. "Depending on your guests' budgets and the destination you've chosen, it may not be an issue."
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