5 flight attendants share their thoughts on the etiquette of asking people to swap seats on a plane, as the debate wages on across TikTok

Flight etiquette has become one of the biggest controversial topics to take off on TikTok in recent months.

Relatable travel debacles, from how to respond when a baby is crying during your flight, to where to put your carry-on bags to avoid inconveniencing others, keep going viral on the app as users put forward their opinions and document their responses to these in-flight travel situations in real-time.

Seat switching in particular has become the most debated topic among the vast array of TikTok flight etiquette debates, with users consistently going viral on the app for sharing stories about being asked to move from their seat to swap with another passenger while traveling.

These immensely popular stories have sparked questions and concerns from viewers and commenters on the app: Is it OK to ask someone to move to a seat in a different seat class from their original seat? Is there more social pressure to swap if a parent wants to sit next to their young child?

Insider spoke to five flight attendants who witness these situations and conflicts unfolding regularly on flights, asking for their consensus on the proper etiquette around this topic, which continues to inspire rage, arguments, and impassioned rants on social media.

Some of the flight attendants who spoke to Insider for this article asked to omit full names and remain anonymous for privacy reasons in order to speak frankly. Insider verified these individuals' employment as flight attendants with airlines with paystubs and ID badges.

All five flight attendants agreed that asking another passenger to swap seats is OK. But what isn't is expecting or assuming that the passenger will say yes.

Here are their key takeaways.

Liz, a flight attendant for Southwest, who shares her lifestyle on her TikTok account @wanderlizst, mentioned that swapping seats on Southwest flights is common.

That's because Southwest operates with an open seating policy. This means that passengers can sit in any available seat on the plane — unlike other airlines that have assigned seats.

On her flights, she said it's common to swap seats.

"On airlines with open seating policies, it is more socially acceptable because the seats are not assigned and can be negotiated," she told Insider.

For airlines with assigned seats, Liz said it isn't as socially acceptable since the seats are predetermined.

One of the most common circumstances in which passengers report being asked to switch plane seats is when a parent is asking to be near their child.

But on TikTok, users seem increasingly resistant to the idea of being pressured to move for the convenience of other people's families. In March, an influencer posted a video on a plane, in which she insinuated that she refused to swap seats so a family could sit together with all their kids. She later suggested in her comments section that the video was a "joke," but many commenters agreed with the sentiment behind the video, saying they believe it's the parents' responsibility to book seats in advance if they want to be seated together.

In February, another TikToker named Surya Garg shared a story on TikTok about a mother who asked her to switch seats with her son, who turned out to be a teenage boy, sparking a heated debate on the app about the age at which a child should be expected to be able to sit on their own during a flight.

Some flight attendants told Insider that it's nice to be compassionate if it's a parent and a young child.

"I feel like in certain scenarios — if it's a mom and her young child, and it's a completely full flight — then maybe try to see why she's asking in the first place," London said.

Våje agreed and said that "if it's a disabled person who needs an aisle seat or a kid with their mother, I think you should give up your seat."

Flight attendants told Insider that there are strategies passengers can use to get the seats they want.

The simplest piece of advice is to book seats ahead of time.

"If you wait to the last minute and you're assigned to a seat, then you're probably not going to be sitting with who you're traveling with," Leanna said.

Many airlines give passengers the option to choose their seats when they make a reservation and before the flight takes off. It can sometimes come with an extra fee, flight attendants said, but if a passenger needs to sit next to their family members or friends, they should spend the extra money.

Otherwise, travelers shouldn't assume they'll get to sit together.

Another way you're more likely to sit next to friends or family is if you book your flights under one reservation, Demi said.

"To avoid being separated, you should book tickets together under the same account and check in at the same time," Demi said.

And if a traveler ends up on a flight sitting far from their friends and family, Leanna said it never hurts to ask the flight attendant if there are any open seats or rows they can relocate to.

But worst-case scenario, it's a few hours apart.

"You guys can spend a couple of hours apart. It's not the end of the world," London said.