- The holidays are a time for connection, but obligations can interfere with couples' quality time.
- Dates like a cooking class, arcade night, or at-home wine tasting can foster curiosity and playfulness in your relationship.
The holiday season can be hectic and full of family obligations, but that doesn't mean your relationship has to suffer.
Whether you're deepening your connection with someone new or looking for ways to bring fresh energy to your long-term relationship, taking a curious approach can help spice things up, therapist Chelsie Reed told Insider.
She said connecting with your partner is about genuine attention and interest in who they are, how they think about the world, and their interests, not the specific activity you're doing, topic you're discussing, or the amount of money you spend.
Indeed, a series of four small cross-sectional studies published in the Journal of Personality found that people who had higher levels of curiosity were more sensitive in their relationships and less controlling and aggressive than those with lower levels of curiosity.
Going on dates where you learn more about yourself and your partner can also benefit your mental health.
So no matter the type of date you and your boo find yourselves on this holiday season, remember to focus on getting to know them better while being yourself.
For the couple who just wants a good bite
1. Sign up for an in-person or virtual cooking class where you and your partner can work together to learn new recipes and skills. The best part? You'll end up with a delicious meal.
2. Build your own local food tour. Pick between three and five local eateries in your neighborhood or town and stop at each for a do-it-yourself take on a multi-course meal.
For the couple who just started dating
3. Slow down the pace with a date at a coffee shop followed by browsing a bookstore. The quiet atmosphere provides the perfect opportunity to get to know each other better. Not sure what to ask? Mike Dow, a therapist at Field Trip Health in Los Angeles, suggested learning about family and sources of joy.
4. The early days of dating are meant to be playful, so take your new lover to a nearby arcade for rounds of skeeball. Research suggests playfulness can decrease stress and tension while increasing a person's ability to let go of small frustrations, so bring on the friendly competition.
For the COVID-conscious couple
5. For a daytime date, scope out a local hiking trail and enjoy the fresh air and scenery. Warm up after with hot cocoa.
6. Get creative with an at-home beverage-tasting night. Pick your drink of choice, and set up sip-sized glasses so you can compare tasting notes.
For the adventurous couple
7. Find romance away from crowds, build a fire, and stargaze with your partner on a clear-skied winter night. Complete the evening with s'mores or a thermos filled with warm apple cider.
8. Outside of being a fun way to pass time, sex can boost you and your partner's bond. If you want to experiment with new types of sexual intimacy, surprise each other with sex toys and try them together. Whether you choose a sex toy specifically designed for couples, long-distance fun, or one that keeps the focus on you, you're bound to have a good time.
For the couple on a budget
9. PowerPoint gatherings, where loved ones gather to share silly or niche presentations on a topic they love, have taken over TikTok. Set up an at-home PowerPoint date over drinks and snacks for a budget-friendly way to learn and laugh with your partner. Sharing your obsessions with your partner is a great way to deepen your connection, Reed told Insider.
10. To get to know your partner better, pull up the New York Times' The 36 Questions That Lead to Love, and ask away. In 2015, columnist Mandy Len Catron wrote about the three-part question series, which comes from a psychological study, and it went viral as a relationship-building tool.
For the couple who wants to luxuriate
11. Whether you head to a nearby destination for a sensual couple's massage or stay at home with drugstore face masks, indulging in a spa day allows you to pamper each other together.
12. For more at-home luxuriating, set up a do-it-yourself wine and cheese tasting. Check out an online guide to learn more about pairings, like this one from Wine Folly, then mix and match your favorites. You can also pick wines and cheeses from a specific country or wine-making region and turn your date night into a regular culinary adventure without the pricey airfare.