The mysterious author of 'Tinder for Experts' tells us how he found love on the dating app
The book's anonymous writer, known only as "Max," views the dating app Tinder as a "sales process." His book gives men what he describes as tips for being more successful at self-promotion, as opposed to formulaic methods for securing dates.
Although some of Max's lighter advice includes sending "naughty pictures," checking out matches on Facebook, and planning out chat sequences and the best time to correspond, he insists "Tinder for Experts" is not the work of a pickup artist. We spoke to Max to find out why and to see how the mysterious author is faring on the app.
Business Insider: You say you're not a pickup artist, but the book does appear to be similar to that sort of material and literature. It uses much of the same language and does seem to point toward being a pickup-artist guide specifically for Tinder?
Max: A pickup artist is someone that practices seduction as a career by offering classes and "boot camps." Nowadays, given the negative connotation, they refer to themselves as dating coaches. I cannot call myself either because although seduction is a subject that fascinates me, I do not offer such programs.
From the very beginning of my e-book, I state that I have internalized literature written by pickup artists. Their advice helped me get over my fear of talking to women and to develop a charming personality in my early adult life. These skills and confidence led me to find success with women and even in business.
Naturally, when explaining how to properly use Tinder, I build upon concepts often first defined by pickup artists. Whether to name it a "pickup-artist guide" depends on whether you are willing to go as far as to call it an art.
BI: What do you think of people like Julien Blanc?
M: Julien Blanc is a pickup artist that happens to also have a twisted sense of humor and a low esteem of women. Any pickup artists who share his views are not fit to be teaching men how to interact with women. Instructors have a moral obligation to teach their skills for the right reasons, especially when they can be used to do harm.
BI: Men and women use Tinder. But does it hold the capacity for men to exploit/objectify women?
M: I do not see how Tinder grants men the capacity to exploit women. Perhaps if they were to lie or put up fake photos, but this is immoral and potentially illegal. This problem is as old as online dating, and women are usually conscious to meet men in public places after having gotten to know them properly via chat.
Tinder is a superficial game. This may lead some men objectify women and address them inappropriately. These guys almost never get far and I adamantly discourage such behavior. To outwit other men, you need to be open to getting to know the woman and having her discover your attractive personality. Women are very sought after on Tinder, they will usually not waste a minute on a guy that treats them disrespectfully.
BI: Have you had any testimonials? People who've struggled, read your book, and subsequently met their "match"?
M: The e-book was only released a couple of months ago, so I have not yet received any wedding invitations. However, one of the reasons I decided to write this e-book happened when one of my best friends fell for a girl he met on Tinder. He had been following my advice and going on more dates than any other time in his life. Eventually, without even expecting it, he met a great girl that won him over. They are still together and he has had to retire from Tinder!
BI: How have you been doing on Tinder?
M: Leading up to my decision to write "Tinder for Experts," I was going on one or two dates per week thanks to Tinder. I was also getting invited to events and shown around new cities I was visiting. Amazingly, the women I was meeting were really great, better than I could hope to find in bars or clubs. I am still good friends with many of them.
When I was almost finished writing, I met the most charming woman of all. She is a doctor and never has time to meet men the "normal" social way. In the final chapter, I do not mention her, but I do explain how to turn a Tinder date into a relationship. As it turns out, I am one of the rare examples that love can be found on Tinder!
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