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This is the stuff you can only get at Microsoft's campus gift shop

This is the stuff you can only get at Microsoft's campus gift shop

There's not much to see on the Microsoft campus for non-employees, apart from a few basketball courts, soccer fields, and tourist photo opportunities. That's me being a tourist, by the way.

This is the stuff you can only get at Microsoft's campus gift shop

But there's one building you can get inside: the Microsoft Visitor's Center. It's guarded by Master Chief and Spartan Locke, the heroes of Microsoft's "Halo 5: Guardians." They don't look happy to see me.

But there

The Visitor Center holds a tiny museum dedicated to Microsoft's long history...

The Visitor Center holds a tiny museum dedicated to Microsoft

... plus some stations where you can mess around with Microsoft's games and technology. Somehow, every kid in the joint had figured out how to get Minecraft running on all of the demo computers sitting around.

... plus some stations where you can mess around with Microsoft

But the best part is probably the Microsoft Company Store, which is the only place to get a lot of exclusive Microsoft-branded merchandise.

But the best part is probably the Microsoft Company Store, which is the only place to get a lot of exclusive Microsoft-branded merchandise.

That means t-shirts, like this kind of poorly-advised NWA tribute...

That means t-shirts, like this kind of poorly-advised NWA tribute...

...mugs, like this kind-of-cool Xbox One controller design...

...mugs, like this kind-of-cool Xbox One controller design...

...and other kinds of apparel and accessories.

...and other kinds of apparel and accessories.

Seriously, there's a lot here. Check out these Microsoft-branded sports jerseys, for kids and adults.

Seriously, there

Or these Xbox flip-flops.

Or these Xbox flip-flops.

Some of it's weird, like these plastic "Genius Juice" flasks. I don't know what it's like in Washington, but I feel like I'd get in trouble just for having one of these in San Francisco.

Some of it

Some of it's cute, like this Microsoft teddy bear I got for my mom. (Hey, mom, if you're reading this: Surprise!)

Some of it

There's a healthy selection of Minecraft stuff, but not much more than you can get at your local Target.

There

There's other stuff for kids, though.

There

And some stuff for babies.

And some stuff for babies.

You can also get these torso-sized Xbox One controller pillows. I would have absolutely bought one of these if I then didn't have to worry about getting it home.

You can also get these torso-sized Xbox One controller pillows. I would have absolutely bought one of these if I then didn

There's also a healthy selection of Halo-themed stuff, including backpacks, headsets, action figures, and other accessories.

There

There are also Bing polo shirts, if a Bing polo shirt is what you desire.

There are also Bing polo shirts, if a Bing polo shirt is what you desire.

Indeed, some of the t-shirts seem to have pretty niche appeal. Remember that these are for Microsoft employees as much as they are for tourists like myself. It's the "company" store, after all.

Indeed, some of the t-shirts seem to have pretty niche appeal. Remember that these are for Microsoft employees as much as they are for tourists like myself. It

And some of them are clearly aimed at IT departments. I got this one for my dad.

And some of them are clearly aimed at IT departments. I got this one for my dad.

There's a whole line of merch based on Microsoft Office puns. Like this one...

There

...and this one. There's also one that says "Simply Excel." Get it? Do you? Do you get it?

...and this one. There

There's also an employee side of the store, where you need to have a Microsoft company badge just to get in. But if you make it, there are steep discounts of as much as 75% to be had on Microsoft-made software and hardware.

There

On a final note, I can't believe more people didn't want these Windows Phone magnets. Oh, well.

On a final note, I can

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