Sorry Elon, your chances of winning a cage fight against Mark Zuckerberg are slim
- Elon Musk wants to fight Mark Zuckerberg in a cage. He shouldn't.
- Zuckerberg is training in MMA and winning jiu-jitsu competitions.
It's not too late to back out Elon, I promise. No one will tease you for it. Sure, your pride might take a bit of a hit. But really, fighting Mark Zuckerberg in a cage is a bad, bad idea.
For those who aren't aware, let's bring you up to speed. The Twitter owner and world's richest man challenged his arch-nemesis to a cage fight on Tuesday because, well, it's hard to say why really.
Reports suggest Zuckerberg is preparing to launch a Twitter rival – which almost certainly will be an unashamed copycat – so there is at least something reasonable to squabble over. The pair do also have a long history of throwing shade at each other.
But a real, physical fight? Come on now Elon, have you heard what Zuckerberg has been up to lately? He's training in MMA, winning jiu-jitsu competitions, and generally getting seriously shredded. Your chances of winning are slim.
For one, Zuckerberg's jiu-jitsu prowess gives him a way of turning Musk inside-out in ways he may not have realized were possible. The martial art based on submission maneuvers such as joint locks and chokes could see Zuckerberg put Musk to sleep within 60 seconds flat.
Unless Musk learns some genuine defensive skills (his friend, podcaster, and jiu-jitsu black belt Lex Fridman has offered a helping hand) he won't just be handed defeat by Zuckerberg, but humiliation too.
Take for instance the jiu-jitsu move known as the triangle choke. It involves a competitor trapping their opponent's arm across their throat before wrapping their legs around their neck to apply pressure and restrict blood flow to the brain.
Can you imagine Zuckerberg making Musk tap out with his legs around his neck? The meme material that would emerge from that shot would be unimaginable.
Though Musk is bigger and bulkier than Zuckerberg, it would be a mistake to assume that gives him an advantage. Jiu-jitsu is a martial art that revolves around leveraging an opponent's bodyweight against them, rather than relying on brute strength.
It's no wonder then that Zuckerberg responded to the challenge with confidence by asking Musk to "send me location," to which Musk suggested "Vegas Octagon," seemingly referring to the city's Apex Arena where UFC bouts take place.
In an attempt to downplay it all, Musk tweeted that the only real workout he gets is picking up his kids and "throwing them in the air." If he isn't careful, Zuckerberg will be throwing him around instead.