Elon Musk whispered to his first wife, Justine, that he was 'the alpha in this relationship' during their first dance

• During Elon Musk's first dance with Justine Musk, he told her he was the "alpha" in the relationship.
• She told his biographer that he told her to dye her hair blonder and she felt like he was turning her into a trophy wife.

Elon Musk used his first dance at his wedding to Justine Musk to establish the nature of their relationship.

"I am the alpha in this relationship," Elon Musk whispered to author Justine Musk, his first wife, as they danced following their ceremony on the Caribbean island of Saint Martin, Walter Isaacson wrote in "Elon Musk," his new biography of the tech mogul.

Though Isaacson extensively interviewed both Elon and Justine Musk for the book, he doesn't say which recounted the first dance to him.

Elon Musk met Justine Musk when he was a sophomore and she a freshman at Queen's University in Kingston, Ontario.

Elon Musk first saw her at a party and invited her for ice-cream, but when he came to her room to pick her up she wasn't there. Instead, he asked her friend for her favorite flavor ice-cream, bought some, and walked around campus carrying the dripping cone until he found her studying.

"He's not a man who takes no for an answer," Justine Musk told Isaacson.

While Elon Musk studied at Queen's they only dated sporadically, the book says. But they stayed in touch after he transferred to the University of Pennsylvania, and he would sometimes send Justine flowers.

Later on they rapidly rekindled their relationship after the pair spent a whirlwind weekend together in New York City, culminating in Elon Musk inviting Justine Musk to live in his apartment in Palo Alto with him and his two housemates.

Their relationship had highs and lows. "Elon and I were used to having big arguments in public," Justine Musk told Isaacson. "I don't think you can be in a relationship with Elon and not argue."

Some of Elon Musk's friends and family didn't want him to marry Justine Musk. His younger brother Kimbal Musk and college friend Navaid Farooq both tried to stop him from marrying her, per the book. Elon Musk's mother, Maye Musk, also wasn't a fan of her.

Elon and Justine Musk got into an argument the day before they were due to get married, in January 2000, and Elon Musk told his mother that the wedding was off, but it ultimately went ahead.

Their honeymoon, however, was postponed by months so Musk could sort out X.com's merger with PayPal. The couple finally had their honeymoon in September, eight months after the wedding, though ultimately they had to book last-minute flights back to the US amid turmoil at the company.

Justine and Elon Musk's had their first child, Nevada, in 2002. He died of sudden infant death syndrome. Through IVF, Justine gave birth to twins Griffin and Xavier in 2004 and triplets Kai, Saxon, and Damian in 2006.

Though couple went to parties with celebrities and lived in a mansion in Bel Air with five nannies and housekeepers, they weren't happily married.

"It was basically a massive cluster fuck of disruptive things," Justine Musk told Isaacson.

During some arguments, Justine Musk would say how much she hated Elon Musk and he would call her a "moron" or "idiot," per the book.

She told Isaacson that Elon Musk told her to dye her hair blonder and that she felt like she was being turned into a "trophy wife."

"I met him when he didn't have much at all," she told Isaacson. "The accumulation of wealth and fame changed the dynamic."

"The strong will and emotional distance that makes him difficult as a husband may be reasons for his success in running a business," she added.

The couple ultimately divorced in 2008. He started dating actor Talulah Riley that same year.