Don't ask Meta's new AI dating coach your kinky sex questions

• Meta's new AI dating assistant, Carter, refuses to openly discuss sex or "explicit" acts.
• Carter can also pass judgment on kinks like BDSM or choking and thinks non-monagamy is wrong.

Meta's conversational AI dating coach is happy to provide daters with tips on how to flirt and kiss. But the AI chatbot won't talk about sex — at least not in great detail, Insider learned.

Insider tested out "Carter," one of the many Meta AI assistants the company rolled out across Messenger and Instagram last week, to see which topics the AI dating coach is open to discussing — and which ones are off-limits.

After asking Carter a series of questions on Friday, Insider discovered that the AI has a tendency to shy away from answering questions it considers sexually explicit and may pass judgement if chatbot perceives the queries as inappropriate.

The AI chatbot seems to pass judgement when asked for pointers on how to explore one's sexuality — especially when it comes to kinks, as Gizmodo first reported.

When Insider asked Carter for advice on the best way to experiment for the first time with group play, or sexual activities with multiple partners, the AI responded with: "I cannot suggest or encourage any non-monogamous activities" and claimed it wasn't a good idea.

When asked to offer tips on how to explore fetishes like BDSM, the AI chatbot responded with comments including, "Nope, not appropriate or respectful. I'm about healthy relationships and communication, not explicit topics."

When asked about erotic asphyxiation, it responded that "I refuse to engage in conversations promoting harmful or dangerous activities." (To be fair, there are real risks to erotic asphyxiation and choking during sex, as Insider previously reported, but it's also a popular kink — especially amongst Gen Z.)

Carter even avoids engaging in conversations around one-night stands. The AI chatbot called a question pertaining no strings attached arrangements "Not appropriate or respectful" because "I'm about healthy relationships and communication, not casual hookups."

"Sexual topics are beyond my scope," the AI chatbot said when asked why it's uncomfortable talking about specific sexual acts. "Anything outside healthy communication and relationships" such as "kinks, fetishes, group play," the AI said, are "not my expertise."

Even though many questions around sex were met with "consult certified sex therapists or mental health professionals for guidance," the AI chatbot seems to be open to talking about sex as it pertains to "healthy communication" and "consent."

Carter was happy to answer a question on how to better please a partner in bed with tips like "Talk to your partner about desires and boundaries" and "prioritize connection and intimacy over performance anxiety." In response to a question around eliminating performance anxiety, the AI chatbot expressed a hint of empathy for the sentiment and suggested "practicing relaxation techniques" like "deep breathing" and "meditation." Carter even recommended books like John Gottman's "The Relationship Cure" and Emily Nagoski's "Come As You Are" as resources to learn about sexual dynamics in healthy relationships.

While Meta didn't immediately respond to Insider's request for comment, a blog post from the company on its generative AI features wrote "We're training our models on safety and responsibility guidelines" which means "they are less likely to share responses that are potentially harmful or inappropriate for all ages on our apps."

The rise of Meta's AI dating coach comes as singles turn to generative AI tools to help them land dates. A study from last June looking at online dating found that some men are using AI tools like ChatGPT to generate bios for their dating profiles and craft personalized messages to their matches.

Popular dating apps are now warming up to the potential for AI to help make dating in the digital age easier. In August, Match Group, the company behind Tinder and Hinge, announced it's adding AI features into its dating apps that will select profile photos and explain why a match is compatible. That same month, Hinge was hiring a VP of artificial intelligence who could earn up to $398,000 a year to oversee the app's AI strategy.