After rewatching the surreal and bizarre 1993 'Super Mario Bros.' movie where Yoshi gets stabbed and Goombas are humanoid dinosaurs, I can't suggest it enough

Ben GilbertOct 3, 2021, 20:24 IST

Throw away whatever you thought you knew about Goombas.Buena Vista Pictures/Disney

In 1993, the first-ever major film adaptation of a video game hit theaters: "Super Mario Bros."
In 2022, a new "Super Mario Bros." movie starring Chris Pratt as Mario is scheduled to arrive.
Rewatching the original for the first time in decades is a stunning reminder of how bizarre the film was.

As a 36-year-old and a lifelong video game fan, I saw the original "Super Mario Bros." movie when it came out in 1993. I haven't sat down to watch it in full in literal decades.

Nintendo

As a 36-year-old and a lifelong video game fan, I saw the original "Super Mario Bros." movie when it came out in 1993. I haven't sat down to watch it in full in literal decades.

If you've never seen it or, like me, had simply forgotten, the "Super Mario Bros." movie is the story of two plumber brothers named "Mario Mario" and "Luigi Mario." But these are almost nothing like the Mario brothers you know from the games.

Buena Vista Pictures/Disney

If you've never seen it or, like me, had simply forgotten, the "Super Mario Bros." movie is the story of two plumber brothers named "Mario Mario" and "Luigi Mario." But these are almost nothing like the Mario brothers you know from the games.

They live in a version of early '90s Brooklyn where Italian-American red sauce restaurants littered the streets of Williamsburg.

Buena Vista Pictures/Disney

Together, they operate the "Mario Bros. Plumbing Service." Though the concept of Mario and Luigi as plumbers was rapidly fading by 1993, the "Super Mario Bros." movie took the concept of Mario and Luigi as plumbers and ran with it.

Buena Vista Pictures/Disney

Together, they operate the "Mario Bros. Plumbing Service." Though the concept of Mario and Luigi as plumbers was rapidly fading by 1993, the "Super Mario Bros." movie took the concept of Mario and Luigi as plumbers and ran with it.

Rather than focusing on Mario, "Super Mario Bros." largely focuses on Luigi's budding relationship with a woman named Daisy.

Daisy is played by Samantha Mathis. Buena Vista Pictures/Disney

The central thesis of the "Super Mario Bros." movie is that a meteorite hit Brooklyn 65 million years ago and, instead of vaporizing the dinosaurs, it actually caused a dimensional rift.

Buena Vista Pictures/Disney

The central thesis of the "Super Mario Bros." movie is that a meteorite hit Brooklyn 65 million years ago and, instead of vaporizing the dinosaurs, it actually caused a dimensional rift.

On one side of the rift is Earth, where human beings descended from apes. On the other side is where Mario and Luigi end up - a world that's unsurprisingly ruled by President Koopa, played by Dennis Hopper.

Buena Vista Pictures/Disney

On one side of the rift is Earth, where human beings descended from apes. On the other side is where Mario and Luigi end up - a world that's unsurprisingly ruled by President Koopa, played by Dennis Hopper.

Unlike our reality, where human connection to our ape ancestors is tenuous at best, the Koopa world's connection to dinosaurs is far more intimate - to the point where Dennis Hopper even stands like a dinosaur, with his arms perched, throughout the film.

Buena Vista Pictures/Disney

Unlike our reality, where human connection to our ape ancestors is tenuous at best, the Koopa world's connection to dinosaurs is far more intimate - to the point where Dennis Hopper even stands like a dinosaur, with his arms perched, throughout the film.

You might be wondering what the connection to the dinosaur stuff is. Given that the most recent "Super Mario Bros." game before the film was "Super Mario World" for the Super Nintendo, it appears that the theme was pulled from that game's setting: Dinosaur Land.

SNES

You might be wondering what the connection to the dinosaur stuff is. Given that the most recent "Super Mario Bros." game before the film was "Super Mario World" for the Super Nintendo, it appears that the theme was pulled from that game's setting: Dinosaur Land.

"We knew the game ['Super Mario World'] and we knew one of its areas was Dino World," one of the film's directors, Rocky Morton, reportedly told Dinosaur Magazine. "So we thought that it would be a great place to go into." The alternate dimension of the film is known by fans as "Dinohattan."

Buena Vista Pictures/Disney

"We knew the game ['Super Mario World'] and we knew one of its areas was Dino World," one of the film's directors, Rocky Morton, reportedly told Dinosaur Magazine. "So we thought that it would be a great place to go into." The alternate dimension of the film is known by fans as "Dinohattan."

The dinosaur theme gets stretched to some truly bizarre places, especially as the film attempts to integrate references to the video games. Goombas, for instance, become a de-evolved humanoid dinosaur creature.

Buena Vista Pictures/Disney

The dinosaur theme gets stretched to some truly bizarre places, especially as the film attempts to integrate references to the video games. Goombas, for instance, become a de-evolved humanoid dinosaur creature.

And Yoshi, everyone's favorite adorable little green creature, looks like something ripped from "Jurassic Park":

There's a good reason that this dinosaur looks like those in "Jurassic Park" - they came out the same year! Buena Vista Pictures/Disney

Beyond the foundational issues of the film's relationship to the games, the movie is all over the place. Dialog and plot logic are a mess from scene to scene, and much of it feels like disconnected moments.

Buena Vista Pictures/Disney

Beyond the foundational issues of the film's relationship to the games, the movie is all over the place. Dialog and plot logic are a mess from scene to scene, and much of it feels like disconnected moments.

The fact that "Super Mario Bros." is such a mess, though, is what makes it so enjoyable to watch. It's a movie full of so many incomprehensible, baffling moments that you'll start to wonder if it's actually an elaborate social test.

Buena Vista Pictures/Disney

The fact that "Super Mario Bros." is such a mess, though, is what makes it so enjoyable to watch. It's a movie full of so many incomprehensible, baffling moments that you'll start to wonder if it's actually an elaborate social test.

Are there elaborate dance numbers? Yes. Does an adult woman stab Yoshi with a knife meant for stabbing? Yes. Is the bad guy's main weapon a modified version of the Super Scope light gun peripheral for the Super Nintendo? You bet! Frankly, I can't suggest it enough.

Buena Vista Pictures/Disney

Are there elaborate dance numbers? Yes. Does an adult woman stab Yoshi with a knife meant for stabbing? Yes. Is the bad guy's main weapon a modified version of the Super Scope light gun peripheral for the Super Nintendo? You bet! Frankly, I can't suggest it enough.

Unfortunately, there are no easy ways to stream the film, and the only available copies are on DVD and Blu-ray. There is a fan-made "director's cut" of the film available on the Internet Archive for free, and it's got more scenes than the theatrical release.

If you really want to own a copy of the film, it's available on DVD for around $4. Amazon

Unfortunately, there are no easy ways to stream the film, and the only available copies are on DVD and Blu-ray. There is a fan-made "director's cut" of the film available on the Internet Archive for free, and it's got more scenes than the theatrical release.

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After rewatching the surreal and bizarre 1993 'Super Mario Bros.' movie where Yoshi gets stabbed and Goombas are humanoid dinosaurs, I can't suggest it enough

As a 36-year-old and a lifelong video game fan, I saw the original "Super Mario Bros." movie when it came out in 1993. I haven't sat down to watch it in full in literal decades.

If you've never seen it or, like me, had simply forgotten, the "Super Mario Bros." movie is the story of two plumber brothers named "Mario Mario" and "Luigi Mario." But these are almost nothing like the Mario brothers you know from the games.

They live in a version of early '90s Brooklyn where Italian-American red sauce restaurants littered the streets of Williamsburg.

Together, they operate the "Mario Bros. Plumbing Service." Though the concept of Mario and Luigi as plumbers was rapidly fading by 1993, the "Super Mario Bros." movie took the concept of Mario and Luigi as plumbers and ran with it.

Rather than focusing on Mario, "Super Mario Bros." largely focuses on Luigi's budding relationship with a woman named Daisy.

The central thesis of the "Super Mario Bros." movie is that a meteorite hit Brooklyn 65 million years ago and, instead of vaporizing the dinosaurs, it actually caused a dimensional rift.

On one side of the rift is Earth, where human beings descended from apes. On the other side is where Mario and Luigi end up - a world that's unsurprisingly ruled by President Koopa, played by Dennis Hopper.

Unlike our reality, where human connection to our ape ancestors is tenuous at best, the Koopa world's connection to dinosaurs is far more intimate - to the point where Dennis Hopper even stands like a dinosaur, with his arms perched, throughout the film.

You might be wondering what the connection to the dinosaur stuff is. Given that the most recent "Super Mario Bros." game before the film was "Super Mario World" for the Super Nintendo, it appears that the theme was pulled from that game's setting: Dinosaur Land.

"We knew the game ['Super Mario World'] and we knew one of its areas was Dino World," one of the film's directors, Rocky Morton, reportedly told Dinosaur Magazine. "So we thought that it would be a great place to go into." The alternate dimension of the film is known by fans as "Dinohattan."

The dinosaur theme gets stretched to some truly bizarre places, especially as the film attempts to integrate references to the video games. Goombas, for instance, become a de-evolved humanoid dinosaur creature.

And Yoshi, everyone's favorite adorable little green creature, looks like something ripped from "Jurassic Park":

Beyond the foundational issues of the film's relationship to the games, the movie is all over the place. Dialog and plot logic are a mess from scene to scene, and much of it feels like disconnected moments.

The fact that "Super Mario Bros." is such a mess, though, is what makes it so enjoyable to watch. It's a movie full of so many incomprehensible, baffling moments that you'll start to wonder if it's actually an elaborate social test.

Are there elaborate dance numbers? Yes. Does an adult woman stab Yoshi with a knife meant for stabbing? Yes. Is the bad guy's main weapon a modified version of the Super Scope light gun peripheral for the Super Nintendo? You bet! Frankly, I can't suggest it enough.

Unfortunately, there are no easy ways to stream the film, and the only available copies are on DVD and Blu-ray. There is a fan-made "director's cut" of the film available on the Internet Archive for free, and it's got more scenes than the theatrical release.