Tennis star Nick Kyrgios says he 'spiraled out of control' in a period where he engaged in self-harm, and abused drugs and alcohol
- Nick Kyrgios has spoken candidly about self-harm, abusing alcohol, and taking drugs.
- The Australian tennis star says he was "cutting" and "burning" himself in one period of his career.
Tennis superstar Nick Kyrgios has opened up on his issues with mental illness, detailing a period of his life in which he self-harmed by "cutting" and "burning" himself.
"It was very serious, to the point of self-harm and it's not okay," the 27-year-old told Australia's Wide World of Sports.
"I guess I pushed everyone that cared about me away and I wasn't communicating, and I just shut down real life and I was trying to handle and tackle my problems head-on," Kyrgios continued. He did not say when in his life these issues surfaced.
"I was abusing alcohol a lot, drugs and that spiralled out of control," he added. "I felt I was letting people down all the time. I felt worthless to be honest, I didn't feel comfortable, I hated my life at one stage.
"I was cutting, burning, just pretty fucked up shit. It was so dark that I kind of liked it as well, like asking people to do it and stuff." Kyrgios did not elaborate on his comments about "asking people to do it."
Kyrgios' often controversial behaviour on the court has made him a polarizing figure among tennis fans, and he said his mental illness has partly stemmed from abuse he has suffered online, a trend which he described as a "very big problem" in top-level sport and wider society.
"It's so accessible now to go on your phone, social media, Twitter, Instagram and just go to messages and comments and you see so much negativity," he said. "You may not take it in but subconsciously it's still going into your brain and dealing with hecklers.
"I deal with it all the time. People just think raising the finger, abusing someone or making racist comments is acceptable in this day and age and I just don't think that's acceptable at all. Now you just have to use it as motivation but that's easier said than done. People talk shit about you and do bad things."
Kyrgios' interview with Wide World of Sports comes just months after he first detailed his mental illness in a lengthy Instagram post.
In the post from February, the Australian said that three years ago he "was having suicidal thoughts" and was "struggling to get out of bed."
"I was lonely, depressed, negative, abusing alcohol, drugs, pushed away family & friends," he said, adding that if his followers don't feel like they can talk to anyone, that they should reach out to him.
"Please, don't feel as if you are alone," he said. "I'm proud to say I've completely turned myself around and have a completely different outlook on everything, I don't take one moment for granted.
"I want you to be able to reach your full potential and smile. This life is beautiful."