I stayed at Cristiano Ronaldo's Cristiano Ronaldo-themed hotel, and it was the most Cristiano Ronaldo experience you could ever imagine

Part of the Pestana Hotel Group, the CR7 Lifestyle Hotel lies right next the harbour in Funchal, Madeira.

Similar lifestyle hotels owned by Ronaldo also exist in New York City, Lisbon, Paris, Marrakesh, and Madrid, though the four-star hotel in Funchal is the chain's marquee establishment.

According to Hospitality Net, the chain is "a pioneering lifestyle brand, a perfect match between Pestana's hotelier expertise and Cristiano Ronaldo's lifestyle."

From poolside, you could overlook almost the whole of Funchal.

It was a simply stunning view, especially at night when the town becomes a light show that guides you all the way from the harbour to the island's peak.

Everything about the CR7 Pestana in Funchal screams health — just as you would expect from something owned by Ronaldo.

The Portuguese international is famed for his incredibly healthy lifestyle. He eats six healthy meals of meat, fish, and vegetables each day, all while avoiding refined sugars and alcohol.

His workout regime is also intense, even for a professional soccer player.

On top of his regular training schedule for Manchester United, the 36-year-old does regular running, sprint, circuit, and weight sessions at his home gym, according to Men's Health.

Breakfast was your typical continental buffet — lots of fruits, cereals, yogurts, and meats, as well as fresh juices and water. These are dishes Ronaldo himself frequently consumes for breakfast, as I found out when following the star's diet earlier this year.

The lunch and dinner menu consisted of lots of fruit and vegetable bowls, chicken and fish dishes, and steaks.

Each section of the menu was given a soccer themed title, such as "Kick-Off" or "Extra-Time."

The menu's more calorific, fattier section, which just comprised of pizzas, was named "Attack" – perhaps as some sort of way to try and put you off.

Ronaldo doesn't drink alcohol himself, but in his hotel booze is on offer. Denying tourists the chance to have a vacation beer or cocktail would just be bad business.

On top of your regular servings of beer, wine, and spirits, the hotel did offer healthy non-alcoholic alternatives such as smoothies and mocktails.

A sauna, a hot tub — which wasn't working during my stay — and a pool were the main attractions.

The sauna was lovely, coal-powered, and just the right temperature so that you didn't melt in the heat once you came out.

The same can't be said about the pool, on the other hand.

It was Arctic. Though I did eventually brave a dip, it felt more like I was taking an ice bath after a soccer match than relaxing.

It wasn't state of the art, but the gym had more than enough kit to keep you in good shape for the duration of your stay.

The weighted machines emulated some of Ronaldo's own favourite exercises, according to Men's Health, such as chest press, squats, and cleans.

What struck me most about the gym was its strategic positioning right outside one of the main strips of rooms, with my door opening directly out on to it.

Though I was stubborn and didn't use it, many other guests did during my stay.

The drawings stretched above the whole length of the bed and were illuminated with back lighting.

The sketches ranged from Ronaldo with his five Ballons d'Or to him playing for Sporting Lisbon as a youngster.

Most bizarrely, there was one that featured the faces of him, his mother, Maria Dolores dos Santos Aveiro, and other members of his family.

Everywhere I looked, there was Ronaldo. From newspaper clippings to signed shirts, and from "R" shaped lights to portraits, memorabilia donned almost every wall.

One particular room at the hotel even had a life-sized photo of Ronaldo during his playing days at Real Madrid plastered on its door.

This set of binoculars, placed by a window overlooking the town, and rather strangely, the swimming pool, was the weirdest of the bunch.

I looked, but I couldn't find Ronaldo. Turns out he was in Manchester.

Ever wanted to see a team of Cristiano Ronaldos play another team of Cristiano Ronaldos?

Well, tucked away behind the upstairs bar next to the pool, you could, albeit in miniature wooden format on this foosball table featuring Manchester United Ronaldo against Sporting Lisbon Ronaldo.

"To be the best you need the best," this one read, which was planted above a television that showed only sports from morning til night.

Sculpted by artist Ricardo Veloza and measuring over three meters in height, the solid bronze statue is situated just to the left of the hotel and right outside the front of the CR7 Museum, which is part of the same building.

People seemed to taking photos with it all day, with many adopting the Manchester United star's famous goal scoring pose and shouting his famous "SIUUUU" chant.

While not a perfect representation of Ronaldo, the statue was much more accurate than the one at the airport, which went viral for its lack of resemblance to Ronaldo when it was first unveiled in 2017.

Seeing Ronaldo at every turn, even before I shut my eyes to go to sleep, was a tad eery, at least for me.

For others it seemed part of the hotel's appeal. One group of gentlemen I spoke to had come specifically from England just to stay at the hotel because of their admiration for the soccer icon.

Whether staying for leisure or for Ronaldo, however, staying at the Pestana CR7 Lifestyle Hotel was a very pleasant experience.

The food was tasty, the rooms were great, and the communal areas were comfy and relaxing. The staff were also fantastic and super friendly, which of course makes any hotel all that much better.

The best bit? The location. Situated right in the middle of Funchal's Old Town and the popular and vibrant lido area, it was easy to get to either and made sure I was never far from a good time.