I stayed at Cristiano Ronaldo's Cristiano Ronaldo-themed hotel, and it was the most Cristiano Ronaldo experience you could ever imagine

Barnaby LaneNov 10, 2021, 18:04 IST

Ronaldo’s hotel in Funchal, Madeira was beautiful, albeit slightly odd.Insider/Barnaby Lane

I stayed in Cristiano Ronaldo's Cristiano Ronaldo-themed hotel in Funchal, Madeira - his hometown.
The hotel is the most Cristiano Ronaldo thing you could ever imagine.

The Portuguese island of Madeira, located in the Atlantic Ocean some 320 miles off the coast of Morocco is famous for a handful of things: its eponymous fortified wine, Madeira cake, and of course, soccer icon Cristiano Ronaldo.

As Insider's unofficial Cristiano Ronaldo beat reporter, I decided to take a trip to the island to learn a bit more about the origin story of one of soccer's greatest ever players.

While I was on Madeira there was only one place I could even think about staying - Ronaldo's own Ronaldo-themed hotel, the Pestana CR7 Hotel in Funchal, Madeira's capital.

This is no ordinary tourist hotel. As I found when I arrived, the place is practically a shrine to Ronaldo and his achievements, something which makes for an unusual stay.

Read on to find out what it is like to stay at Cristiano Ronaldo's Cristiano Ronaldo-themed hotel.

Cristiano Ronaldo's marquee hotel in Madeira is the most Cristiano Ronaldo thing ever.

Poolside at Cristiano Ronaldo’s hotel in Madeira. Insider/Barnaby Lane

The hotel is situated in Funchal, the beautiful town in which Ronaldo was born and raised.

Funchal, Madeira. Insider/Barnaby Lane

The views from the hotel were absolutely stunning.

The poolside view at Ronaldo’s Funchal hotel is stunning. Insider/Barnaby Lane

As a lifestyle hotel, however, it's not quite your normal holiday destination.

The hotel is right next to the harbour. Insider/Barnaby Lane

The food on offer was mainly healthy.

Breakfast with a view. Insider/Barnaby Lane

But there was alcohol.

Coral was my tipple while on the island. Insider/Barnaby Lane

The hotel had all the facilities of a typical spa.

The sauna was (obviously) hot, the pool was not. Insider/Barnaby Lane

It even had an outdoor gym.

The gym was directly outside my room. Insider/Barnaby Lane

The bedrooms were lovely and spacious, as well as clean.

Excuse the messy bed. Insider/Barnaby Lane

One of the strangest features, however, was the Ronaldo murals right above the beds.

Haunting. Insider/Barnaby Lane

In fact, Ronaldo was inescapable throughout the whole hotel.

Insider/Barnaby Lane

Some of the decorations were very odd.

Like "Where’s Wally?” but not. Insider/Barnaby Lane

Such as the table football.

Ronaldo vs. Ronaldo. Insider/Barnaby Lane

Motivational slogans were plastered around the place too, many of them attributed to, you guessed it ... Ronaldo.

I needed this today. Insider/Barnaby Lane

And there was of course an obligatory statue of the man himself.

Better than the one at the airport. Insider/Barnaby Lane

Though a bit odd, Ronaldo's omnipresence didn't lessen the quality of the stay.

The Pestana CR7 hotel was well worth a visit. Insider/Barnaby Lane

I wouldn't hesitate to go back, even less so if the pool was a bit warmer.

What a view. Insider/Barnaby Lane

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