Football coach Deion Sanders ranks his kids based on how much he likes them at any given time. It might be motivating, but could breed jealousy and resentment.

• Deion Sanders, head football coach at the University of Colorado, ranks his children.
• Experts say that might motivate kids to behave well.

Deion Sanders, head football coach at the University of Colorado in Boulder, is famous for being competitive on the field. But it's his competition off the turf that has caught attention this week, as Sanders spoke about ranking his five children, who now range in age from 19 to 31.

"I'm the only one that's honest about ranking my kids. You guys act like you love all of them the same, and you don't," Sanders said, according to People. "I don't know why y'all act like that."

On The Rich Einstein Show, Sanders doubled down on his approach, saying that ranking your kids isn't as unusual as people make it out to be.

"Everybody else does, but they don't say it publicly," he said. "Everything in this life, you're going to be judged, and I let them know. I let them know right off the bat."

Rankings could be used to motivate kids, one expert says

Matt Schubert, a mental health counselor in Idaho, said that ranking can be used as a tool to help children understand their parents' expectations of them.

"This will lead to better awareness among the children of their current behavior," he said. As the rankings change day to day, kids become hyper-aware of how their behaviors are lining up with their parents' expectations.

However, in order to use a ranking system without impacting children's self-esteem or healthy attachments, parents also need to show unconditional love and display affection for all of their kids, Schubert said.

"It will take a lot of intentional work by the parents to make sure it does not negatively harm their children," he said.

Sanders' grown children haven't spoken out about their dad's ranking system, so it's not clear whether they feel they've been impacted.

In many cases, the benefits don't outweigh the drawbacks

Patrice Le Goy, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles, said that the potential motivation that a ranking system might provide doesn't outweigh the serious negative impacts it can have.

"People think that this can be a way to motivate children to do better, but it can have the effect of making children feel that their parents' love and approval are transactional and they must do something very specific to earn those from their parents," Le Goy said.

Rankings can also erode the bond between siblings.

"When children are pitted against each other, they are taught there can be only one winner, and this can cause long-lasting damage to the sibling bond," she said.

Those impacts can last well into adulthood. People who were ranked as children could have trouble building healthy adult relationships, Le Goy said, and have tension with their siblings long after the behavioral benefits of a ranking system have worn off.

"Over time, it is not worth potentially damaging the familial bond," she said.

Parents should avoid ranking, especially in public

Marcus William, a Florida-based counselor, says that to build self-worth, kids need to know that they're loved and valued, regardless of how much they're achieving. With a ranking system, "kids might start to feel they're only loved when they're the best," he said.

"It can make them either always chase their parent's approval or just pull away, thinking they'll never be good enough in their parent's eyes."

Because of that, he recommends that parents stay away from the "dicey territory" of ranking their children — especially in public.

"It can create so many issues, and every kid deserves to feel special and loved for who they are," he said. "Pitting them against each other just doesn't feel right."