My husband and I have a 'family meeting' every week, and it saved our marriage after I became a mom

Like the meetings you hold at work, a family meeting is a dedicated time and place to delegate work and disseminate information. It's a meeting held regularly where you talk about what's coming up on the calendar, general logistics, plans for the weekend, Dunn says. It's also a kind of emotional check-in: Is everyone okay? Does anyone have issues? Anyone feeling burnt out, neglected, overwhelmed? While my husband and I'd held family meetings back when we first moved in together, we'd somehow stopped the practice just when we needed it most. Looking back, the stress of early cohabitation and planning a wedding was nothing compared to the challenges that hit us after the birth of our first child. By the time Oscar was nearly a year and a half, we'd fallen back into poor communication patterns. Just by reinstating the idea of a family meeting, we saw immediate results. When Arran gave the baby a third cookie before dinner, I held my tongue and made a mental note to bring it up at the family meeting. Instead of arguing over an unexpectedly high heating bill, we tabled the conversation until Saturday. These days, when things get tense, he and I have learned to pause and add the issue to next week's agenda.In my home, we start each meeting by discussing the family budget. As for many families, talking about money can be touchy. It's easier, though, when all parties in the conversation are mentally and materially prepared. Instead of guessing what our bank balances are and the expenses we've got to pay, the bills are in a pile in the center of the table and my husband and I both have our computers in front of us, open to our online accounts. We follow money stuff with any issues related to our son. For a long time, sleeping and feeding got their own line items. These days, it's discipline, daycare, and upcoming doctors appointments, including prenatal appointments, followed by anything else related to baby number two (that's right, we're pregnant!). After that comes the business of maintaining the house. Is it time to clean the gutters and have the chimney inspected, or can that wait until next week? Who's responsibility is it to get the dishwasher fixed, and when is that person planning to do it? Then comes new business — upcoming birthdays, holidays, family trips, unusual work obligations, and anything else left to discuss.While the practice may be particularly valuable to couples struggling to cope with the impact becoming parents has on their relationships, experts say that all families can benefit from family meetings. In my years of practice, Barton Goldsmith, PhD wrote in Psychology Today, this has proven to be one of the most effective and bonding things families can do to create greater harmony and experience more depth and connection with those they love. A family meeting gives individuals the power to make decisions, and a feeling of involvement and investment. Whereas I'd become the momager, and had taken on a disproportionate load of the work, at that first and subsequent family meetings, my husband and I were able to even out our responsibilities. Beyond expressing my own feelings about parenthood, family meetings have given me a better sense of how my husband's life has changed as well. During our Saturday sessions, he too is able to articulate his feelings and stressors, and I can better recognize the responsibilities on his shoulders as well as the sacrifices he's making for the sake of our family. My job as a mother is still difficult, but it no longer feels impossible — and I no longer feel alone. I walk away from our family meetings with a renewed confidence knowing my husband and I are working as a team.

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My husband and I have a 'family meeting' every week, and it saved our marriage after I became a mom

The family meeting, explained

Setting an agenda

The benefits