I'm an American who's lived in Europe for 10 years - these are the 3 things about US culture that I miss the most

Americans, as we're told over and over again, are living in ideological bubbles. They view each other as a fundamentally different species. We can't even get along at Thanksgiving.

I believe the experts that this is true compared to past standards for the States, but as an expat, let me assure you it could be a whole lot worse.

Cyprus has a long, complicated, and dreary history involving lots of invasions and internal divisions. I won't bore you with it, but one bottom-line result of the weight of that history is that people really don't trust each other here in a way that's fundamentally weird to Americans.

Sometimes it's just annoying. When my husband and I were trying to buy an apartment, owners would suspiciously follow us around every viewing. What they were watching for I couldn't tell you. Locking doors is a national obsession. But the real issue is deeper. If you think everyone is skimming and cheating and breaking the rules, then you are a chump if you don't follow suit. Why pay your taxes if no one else is? Why walk to the garbage can if you're standing next to a mountain of litter? Why not take a little kickback if the guy above you is taking a lot?

There's a lot of research on the perils of low-trust societies. Cyprus isn't the worst on this front, but it's bad enough for an American here to notice that the US is way better by comparison. In the States we might think the other side is a bunch of ignorant jerks, but most of us, at least, see ourselves as rescuing a functional system on life support. It could be worse. There could be no belief that the system is functional at all.

I lived in London for more than four years. It's as diverse a city as anywhere in the world, so I'm definitely not saying there aren't pockets of Europe that are incredibly cosmopolitan. There are. Lots of Europeans love and appreciate difference. But the value of diversity is generally a newer idea here.

Not that long ago, you were Swedish or French or Greek because your parents were. It was about blood and culture and religion.

That's changing. The idea that you can come from Africa or Asia and become German or Italian is the stated policy of all liberal, Western democracies. But on the ground in a lot of places, accepting that mentality is still a work in progress.

The US has had, throughout its history and up to today, dreadful problems with inclusion and discrimination too. But at least the idea that a person from anywhere can be American, that citizenship is a matter of choice and attitude, that our different origins are our strength, is old and fundamental. It's our founding myth.

I know we haven't lived up to that myth and that it has been weaponized to cover up horrible things, but it still gets me emotionally. Which is corny (and will probably get me yelled out by some of my progressive friends), but it's true. Being abroad has highlighted how much I value the idea, if not how it has always played out in practice.