I'm a driver for Uber and Lyft - here are 8 ways I can tell someone is going to be a bad passenger within 5 seconds

Like I said earlier, I hand out perfect ratings like candy. Some other drivers get upset when people speak too loudly on a phone conversation, or get upset when their car door gets slammed too hard, or get upset if the person seems "annoying" — I try to understand that everyone is different and everyone has their own lives. If you're any decent, normal person, you're getting five stars.

But if you do something that is just out-of-line rude and disrespectful or try to do something illegal … you have just earned yourself four stars or less.

There are laws in place. Everyone has their own opinion on laws, but most of them are there to keep our society safe.

One of these laws have to do with child car seats. Hundreds of children die each year because of car accidents in which they were not in a proper car seat. That is hundreds of innocent lives lost because people were negligent or too lazy to put their child in a car seat. I am not going to join one of these statistics, nor am I going to get a ticket over a $10 ride.

There's some gray area in the exact laws of what size child should go in what size seat, and Uber and Lyft both essentially say to "follow local laws" on this issue, but one thing is for sure: The parent needs to supply a car seat if their child needs it.

And that clearly-under-3-year-old child holding a blankie 100% needs a car seat.

This has only happened a few times, and it's never ended well, but I knew right away that they were going to be a terrible passenger.

This somehow all goes back to the laws. We have laws to keep us safe.

I don't think I need to explain to anyone why alcohol and driving don't mix. I really don't think I need to explain to anyone why drinking inside of a moving car isn't OK.

And an Uber or Lyft ride is not a limousine. This isn't a party bus. You, as a passenger, can't drink alcohol in here. Sorry.

Lots of you understand this and respect this. I am grateful for all passengers that decide to take an Uber instead of drinking and driving.

But some of you decide to try and bring the party with you. No, I'm not going to interrogate you over what is in your water bottle, but I also don't think you have iced water in your red solo cup, at 7 p.m. on a Friday night, when your drop-off location is a popular bar. Arguing with me that it's just water when I smell the vodka on your breath doesn't help your case either.

When you tell me with your actions that you don't respect the law, and are willing to break the law by drinking in my vehicle, where I am responsible, it just tells me that you don't respect me, my belongings, or really anything. You are going to be a terrible passenger.

These are rare, but they're always exciting to receive.

There's never a dull moment when, 0.22 seconds after accepting the ride, I get bombarded with multiple messages from the passenger, with the first one saying, "Where the heck are you?" Feel free to replace the word "heck" with your favorite choice word, because that happened to me one time.

I know that everyone has bad days. I know things happen and we run late. I am upset some days, and some days I run late too. We are all human.

But please don't take your issues out on me, or try to make your problems my problems.

Messaging or calling me and saying rude things to me before I even pick you up is an almost guaranteed way for me to tell that you are about to be a horrible passenger. Telling me that we need to hurry to the airport, or hurry to your job, and talking to me like I'm a piece of garbage, is never acceptable.

I have only had a few of these, and now if I get one of these belligerent passengers, I just cancel the ride as it is not worth the headache to deal with these people.

There are a number of options for passengers to order rides. There are shared rides for one or two people, there's normal UberX or Lyft rides for one to four people, and then there is Uber XL and Lyft XL rides for up to six people.

I'm not going to lie to you: There is a big price difference between a normal one-to-four-person ride and an XL six-person ride. Sometimes, it's more than double.

And I get it. Money is tough. Tell me about it, as I'm literally spending some of my free time driving around strangers versus watching Netflix.

So I understand that your group of five wants to go out and have a good time, even though money might be tight, and you guys want to be safe and take a ride out. That's great.

And then the five of you try to squeeze into my very small Prius.

Now, people regularly compliment on my Prius and say it has much more room inside of it than they had imagined. I've fit a very large TV in here before, and I've even seen a picture of a kayak inside of a Prius before.

But that doesn't change the fact that the Prius only has five seats, and I'm in one of them.

Florida law states that all drivers and front seat passengers need to wear a seatbelt. Uber policy states that passengers are not to exceed the number of seatbelts in a car. Lyft policy says the same.

No, I cannot and will not take the five of you. This goes right back to the whole "respecting my car, respecting the law" thing. I have even had people offer me an extra $20 in cash to take all of them, which makes me wonder, why not just order an XL ride at that point?

My parents taught me from a very young age that when you get in a car, you put on your seat belt. It's just a thing you do. It doesn't hurt, it doesn't bother me, and I don't even really feel it there, but it is there keeping me safe. I honestly don't even think about putting on a seat belt when I get in a car — it's second nature for me.

I thought everyone did this.

It was only when I was much older that I learned that, for some reason, people don't like putting on seat belts.

I cannot think of a single reason in the world why you wouldn't want to put on a seat belt in a car. One guy told me one day he thinks they're uncomfortable. You know what is probably more uncomfortable than a seat belt? Flying through the windshield because you weren't wearing one.

Some people have this strange notion in their brain that their Uber has a magical aura surrounding it, protecting the car from any and all accidents that may happen, and feel like they don't have to put on a seat belt.

I don't get it. Put on the seat belt.

It's also the law.

I have a little shtick I say when people get inside of my car, and it goes something like this: "Hello, my name is Clarke, how are you, you are [name], right? You're going to [location]? Great! There is a phone charger here for you to use. Please let me know if the music is too loud or if you want the A/C changed, and make sure you are all buckled up. How is your morning/day/evening going?"

Here is when I will check to see if their seat belt is fastened. If they suddenly forgot how their seat belt works, well, I guess I forgot how my gas pedal works too.

No seat belt, no ride.

So buckle up. For everyone's safety, especially yours.

On most rides, people are allowed to add a stop or two on their ride. These are for quick stops, and most people get that. I have no problem waiting a minute or two while you run up to an ATM, a convenience store, or something quick like that. I'll even wait in a drive-thru for the right tip or an extra cheeseburger.

But when a passenger gets in, and immediately tells me, rudely, that we need to stop at X, Y, and Z, none of which is listed on the directions on the app, or that we need to go X, then Y, and then need to go pickup Z …

Yeah, no.

I am a driver. I drive you from point A to point B, maybe stopping at point C along the way. That is really all I do. That is what I'm being paid to do.

I had a person tell me one day, "I need you to drive me to Chick-fil-A and then you need to wait for me while I shop at Walmart," when their drop-off location was nowhere near a Chick-fil-A or a Walmart.

Those asking me to do extra things not listed on the app or to do extra things not allowed, are telling me that they are bad passengers.

The greatest thing about Uber and Lyft is that it is so convenient. When you're ready to go somewhere, you pull out your phone, tap the screen a few times, and then one of the many available drivers come and pick you up.

Maybe it's just me, but I hate the feeling of being late, or making other people wait on me. When I'm hailing a ride for myself, I'm practically standing on the curb by the time I complete the order.

Yet some passengers out there don't share this same thought process.

Five minutes is the amount of time you have to get in my vehicle when I arrive. In my opinion, that's about three minutes too much, but that's a different topic.

When I'm sitting still, I make the hourly rate for my area (this changes from city to city), $0.1275 a minute on Lyft, which equates to $7.65 an hour, and $0.13 a minute on Uber, which equates to $7.80 an hour — both of which are currently less than the Florida minimum wage of $8.46. If my wheels are not turning, I am not making money. If I wanted to volunteer, I'd go work with the cute puppies and cats at the animal shelter. Sorry, but I'm doing this job to make money.

If you order the ride, you should be ready to get in the car as soon as the driver pulls up. Plain and simple. I know, I know, things happen — elevators are slow, you forgot something, or you're carrying heavy luggage. I get it. I understand. I have no problem waiting a little bit. The majority of passengers are perfectly fine and ready within 30 seconds.

I'm talking about the people that wait until 4 minutes and 47 seconds to walk to my car. The people that walk up to my car with someone else, finish up a three-minute conversation that could be finished over the phone, and then get in by themselves. The people that stand there smoking a cigarette for four minutes, finish it, wave to me (oh, so you're the passenger), and then hop in.

One day, my patience was running really thin. I was not having a good day. I pulled up to an office, a lady walked out, gave me a wave, and then gave me the waiting finger. She then lit up a cigarette and made a phone call. Her body language screamed "I am selfish."

Nope. I wasn't dealing with this. I canceled and drove away. You should have seen how far that cigarette flew out of her hands as she ran after me in her high heels, waving her arms like a bird trying to take flight.

You don't have to order the ride until you are ready. If you order a ride, have some common courtesy, and be ready for your driver.

I want to reiterate that the majority of my passengers are great people.

I will admit that doing this job has forced me to talk to strangers more than I ever would have in the past, and I have met many different people young and old from almost every continent. We're taught from a young age to never talk to strangers, but I have been pleasantly surprised just how nice and wonderful strangers can be.

The world, I'm learning, is a great place filled with nice people. It gives me hope for our future.

Almost everyone that gets in my car leaves with a smile and five stars.

The bad passengers are few and far between, but they are there. If there is one silver lining to the bad passengers, it is that in comparison they make the good passengers even sweeter.

Check your rating and make sure you don't do commit some of the sins I've listed above, and you can be sure that your Uber and Lyft rating is close to a perfect 5.0.