A CEO tries to give something away to everyone he meets - and this memorable habit landed him a multimillion-dollar deal with Ben & Jerry's

Have you just listened to an amazing new album nobody is talking about? Or found a great out‑of‑the‑way restaurant that blew your mind? Maybe you read an article or book that was transformational. Maybe you had an amazing insight about work, or learned a lesson about parenting the hard way. If so, then don't keep these revelations to yourself. Rather, write them down in a notebook. Then think carefully about who in your life would benefit from that information. Finally, reach out to the person or people who came to mind. Rather than hoarding discoveries that have helped you, remember that wisdom is meant to be shared. And people love to be on other people's minds. It just makes them feel good.

This might seem obvious, but it's easy to forget to praise others, especially if you yourself are feeling stressed or are just having a tough day. The truth is, noticing something positive about another person and expressing your appreciation honestly can change that person's day. I have to consciously work on this one. When you think of something positive, don't hold it in, say it. On this front, it helps to make your compliments as specific as possible.

Instead of telling a coworker, "Thanks for the hard work," tell her, "I know you've been busting your a-- these last few weeks on project X. I wanted to let you know how much I appreciate it because your work is having a positive outcome for the company" — and then go on to explain exactly what the positive outcome is. Similarly, if you experience success of any kind — whether professional or personal — think about who else played a role in achieving that victory. Odds are you didn't do it alone. So make sure to spread the credit around. Reach out to whoever contributed, share in the good news, and express your appreciation.

Maybe it's just saying, "Hey, that research you did really put us over the top in the pitch meeting yesterday." If your kid got into a great college, let his or her teacher know that the extra SAT prep they provided really made a difference. And let your significant other know that the hours he or she spent doing that extra thing for you both really paid off. Just make sure to be honest and specific about why. By the same token, when things go wrong, resist the urge to assign blame to just a single individual. You have to acknowledge what went wrong, but try to do it in an honest, clear, but also kind manner. Being generous in defeat is just as important as being generous in victory.

Then there are times when expressing your generosity calls for actual, physical stuff. I'm talking here about gifts. Gift-giving is an art form, no doubt about it. It can also be a chore. Who among us hasn't been caught unprepared the day before Valentine's Day, an anniversary, or a friend's birthday, frantically searching online, weighing the pros and cons of a scented candle, bathrobe, or some other generic gift? It is very hard to keep up with all the dates and all the people you would want to celebrate. I never nail the dates. One way I've found to avoid this sad state of affairs is to be in gift‑giving mode all year round — not specifically around official, legally designated gift‑giving occasions.

What does that entail? For one thing, if I purchase something for myself that I'm super excited about or just find really useful, I make sure to buy another — or sometimes two more, if it's not insanely expensive. Could be a phone case, a tie clip, or the perfect space pen. Most often it's a book (when I find a book I love, I tend to buy multiple copies). Usually I have no idea whom I'll end up giving it to, which is part of the fun. This gift could sit in a drawer for months until I think of someone who would truly appreciate it or needs it at the time. But when the right occasion arises, I've got a thoughtful gift ready to go.

In this way, I make sure that when I find something I love, I'm also treating someone else I love.

My agency prides itself on coming up with cool gifts to send out to our network: friends, family, and clients. Sure, a lot of companies have swag, but we try to make ours just a little bit different. For example, one year we designed a Mekanism hoodie that had the company name silkscreened in the same typeface as the Metallica logo. One year we chose a custom‑designed box of cereal with hidden toy surprises inside. Another year we sent out a hollowed‑out fake inspirational book with a branded corkscrew hidden inside. We want to get people wearing the brand or keeping the brand on their desks or offices.

In fact, it was a hooded sweatshirt that helped us land one of our oldest clients, Ben & Jerry's ice cream. I had met a representative of the brand, Jay Curley, at a conference I attended, and we got to talking. I'm a huge Ben & Jerry's lover, so I was just happy to meet someone from the organization and exchange information. I immediately added him to our agency's mailing list for free stuff like newsletters, conference invites, articles — and, of course, our Mekanism hoodies.

As luck might have it, about 10 months later Jay called to say that Ben & Jerry's was in the market for a new agency. He probably wouldn't have remembered our agency were it not for the fact that, he told me, he loved our Mekanism hoodie and wore it. We were invited to pitch the business, which we ultimately won. At the time of this writing, we've been their agency for six years. That 20‑something‑dollar sweatshirt rewarded us with a great client and millions and millions of dollars in revenue. Was I trying to land a bank shot that turned a free hoodie into a major company success? Nah. I was just trying to give cool merchandise away to a cool person that I met. And as it turns out, putting awesome stuff out into the world is a habit that pays unexpected dividends.

Excerpt from "The Soulful Art of Persuasion" by Jason Harris. Copyright © 2019 by Jason Harris.