7 tough lessons I learned when I moved across the country

I’m no fashionista, but I can pull it together when necessary. Also, I admittedly have a stiletto habit. When I moved to San Francisco, it took exactly one Friday night out in Jimmy Choos to rethink my fashion priorities. Hills and heels don’t mix — I quickly became an outdoor clothing convert.

You can possess all the confidence in the world, but a cross-country move will push you out of your comfort zone. Being in a new city and living space, no matter how much you love it, can be unnerving. I felt like I was lost most of the time, and as a result, running late. I hate being late.

I didn’t have my go-to network of local friends and neighbors I’d cultivated over the years. Not having that safety net scared me. In the beginning, there were times the distance seemed impossibly far, and I wondered if I’d made a mistake.

Optimism goes a long way, but things rarely work out exactly as imagined (whether you make a cross country move or not). It makes life easier if you can sit and work through the uncomfortable feelings and go with the flow. Things will eventually fall into a comfortable rhythm.

There’s a learning curve with any move — especially a cross-country one that involves a brand-new city and culture. It can be maddening to get up to speed on the local way of life, but if you can slow down and embrace all of the new-to-me scenarios, like convoluted street parking rules, compost and recycling programs, and endless public transportation delays (Hello, Bay Area Rapid Transit!), it’ll make the adjustment much easier.

I felt very much at home and had a ton of friends in Philly. It definitely wasn’t an easy decision to leave. Yet, I didn’t think for a second I’d have any issues making friends in San Francisco. I was wrong.

Philly isn’t called the “City of Brotherly Love” for nothing. It was a bit of wake-up call to realize that I had to start over from scratch. I brought my A-game to the friend-making situation — I started volunteering weekly, taking Taiko drumming classes, and attending lots of concerts and cultural events. I eventually made friends, but it definitely took some time and effort.

Moving is a good excuse to purge belongings, and a cross-country move is a very good reason to get rid of stuff. As much as I wanted to hang onto every item of so-called personal worth, I didn’t need to pack half of it and ended up giving most of it to Goodwill upon arrival.

Make your life easier and judicially figure out what’s treasure and trash before you make your move. Repeat after me and ask yourself: Is this item really necessary?

I’ve always had a sweary mouth, but it became all the more apparent when I moved to the West Coast. If I’m not talking with my mouth, it’s with my hands — and usually both. I’m not going to apologize for communicating the way I do, but it’s definitely not the West Coast norm.