The 5 worst moments in the 'Pinocchio' remake, ranked from bizarre to gross

Luke Evans is a great singer. So it's frustrating that his character, the Coachman, was given such a terribly painful original number that feels like it was written in five minutes with lyrics like "Don't be a party pooper afraid of having fun / It's all for one and one for all."

Kudos to Evans for committing 1000% and leaning into the eccentric leader of Pleasure Island by performing the heck out of this song, but Disney didn't do him any favors.

He should've stuck to Gaston in "Beauty and the Beast" and that alone.

If you thought Hanks' accent in "Elvis" was bizarre, his Geppetto one takes the cake. At least Hanks fully committed to the accent in "Elvis."

There are moments in "Pinocchio" where Hanks seemingly breaks character and delivers lines sounding like himself before speaking with an accent again.

The Oscar winner also awkwardly speak-sings his way through two early musical numbers with the wooden puppet.

"Pinocchio" did not need two Geppetto songs when Cynthia Erivo, who was given a truncated role as the Blue Fairy, was right there. Let the Grammy-award winner do her thing, Disney.

There was no reason to change the original antagonist of the 1940 movie into a vague sea creature with tentacles that still shared some attributes with a whale.

This change was confusing and distracted from the entire ending chase scene. Instead of being concerned about Pinocchio and Geppetto getting to safety, my attention was focused on figuring out what sort of monster Monstro was.

The strangest addition to the "Pinocchio" remake involves smoke creatures (called vapor monsters) who are mysteriously working with Luke Evans' Coachman on Pleasure Island. The monsters help crate up and send off children-turned-donkeys to work in salt mines.

Fans never learn what the deal is with the creatures. Where did they come from? Are they demons? Is the Coachman in control of them or does he have a deal with them? At one point, Evans' character rides two of the vapor monsters as he chases after Pinocchio as if they're two separate skis.

It's such an odd, unnecessary addition to the film when the Coachman could've had a group of lackeys at his disposal instead. It's possible that the vapor monsters could be a nod to all of the cigar smoke in the original film, but that feels like a stretch.

The remake's most bizarre new scene shows Pinocchio getting distracted on his way to school by a pile of poo on the ground. The almost 30-second scene goes on for so long that Pinocchio stops, leans down, sniffs and stares at it while wondering aloud if he'll learn about the pile of dung at school.

The entire scene is insulting to fans. It's as if Disney is saying we know you'll watch whatever we release and is pushing the boundaries of that trust with its fans. It's insulting.