Constant fear, missed milestones, and showers before hugs: The coronavirus is unleashing an agonizing 'new normal' on medical workers and their families

• Medical workers, whether on the frontlines of the coronavirus pandemic or not, tell Business Insider that they live in fear of being contaminated by COVID-19 and exposing their families to it.
• This has forced people to undress in their garages, sneak into their homes via back doors, sanitize every surface they touch, and hide from children seeking hugs until after they shower.
• The families of these healthcare professionals, who are committed to serving their communities and patients, are pleading with people to follow social distancing guidelines.
• Visit Business Insider's homepage for more stories.

When Rezwana Rahim's husband walks through the door, it usually prompts a joyous cacophony.

Laughing and yelling, "Yes! Daddy's home!" the pair's sons, 9-year-old Aidan and 2-year-old Zain rush to hug their father, who is doing his residency at a Louisiana hospital.

The coronavirus has ground that excitement to a halt - affection comes at too high a price.

"Since the first coronavirus case in our city broke out, we decided that it would be best to refrain the kids from hugging my husband," Rahim said. "The first day he walked through our back door, I had to restrain Zain from jumping on him. Zain, of course, had a full meltdown, and from that day forward, we decided it would be best for my husband to sneak in through the garage."

The Rahims now follow a step-by-step decontamination process: He takes off his shoes, and she disinfects them; he removes his scrubs and puts them directly in the washer; she collects all his personal belongings in a container and sanitizes each one of them, and then he jumps in the shower.

"After all that, he comes out to hug the boys," said Rahim.

Business Insider knows the identity of Rahim's husband, but the couple asked for his name to be withheld. The family is worried that his job could be jeopardized because hospitals are threatening to fire employees who speak to the media about the coronavirus.

Medical officials are monitoring Louisiana as the next potential coronavirus hotspot since 26% of all administered COVID-19 tests are coming back positive, according to Dr. Deborah Birx, who is on the White House coronavirus task force. As of Friday, at least 266,600 people across the United States have tested positive for the coronavirus, and almost 7,000 are dead. Louisiana alone has reported more than 10,200 cases and some 370 deaths.

The coronavirus is interrupting family celebrations

The coronavirus is worrisome in that it is "indiscriminate of race, age, and gender, and the symptoms and severity [vary] from person to person," said Rahim. She is 34 weeks pregnant with the couple's third child - a daughter - and concerned by the "unpredictable nature of the coronavirus" and how quickly it spreads.

After reading in February that Italian women were being forced to give birth alone, Rahim has been counting her blessings for her previous two "positive birthing experiences," and preparing mentally for what's to come.

"Right now, there is a possibility that my husband might be COVID-19 positive around the time of my birth," she said. "If he is, he has to be quarantined and might not be able to be there with me. I'm a go-with-the-flow kind of person, and we are facing a time where no one has control over anything that's happening, so I don't think there's [any] point in stressing myself out over this."

Rahim plans to give birth at the same hospital where her husband works, where administrators have already moved labor and delivery into a separate building. If all goes well, she plans to check out of the hospital within 24 hours of the birth to protect her baby from the virus.

For now, though, Rahim has turned to online shopping - not for retail therapy, but because the pandemic has prevented her from getting ready for the arrival of her daughter.

"My sister just had a baby, and she was going to pass on certain things to me, but she lives in Texas, and since there are travel restrictions to Louisiana, I am not sure I can retrieve those items before the baby arrives," said Rahim.

Stay-at-home orders don't constitute a holiday or a punishment

By contrast, the coronavirus outbreak in Ohio - where Amanda and Ryan Alek live with their three children - is smaller: Just over 3,300 people have tested positive, and 91 have died.

Ryan Alek is the safety coordinator at a Toledo hospital, where he is on the COVID-19 operations team, and Amanda Alek shared a tearful message on Instagram after witnessing people not taking the illness seriously.

"Too many people are looking at this as a vacation or are complaining about having to stay home," the 33-year-old told Business Insider. "I wish my husband could stay home. They need to change their mindset and be thankful they can stay home and stay safe."

It's been upsetting, Alek said, to see people visiting friends and family and going to the store "to grab one thing here and there," rather than following social distancing guidelines that mandate everyone remain home as much as possible. Or, if they step out, they stay six feet away from anyone they encounter. That's the only way to reduce the virus' rate of spread and "flatten the curve" so that local healthcare systems aren't overwhelmed.

"People are not staying home, and that's just going to prolong this and prolong the 'new normal' for my family," she said. "I wish they would walk in someone else's shoes for the day and see how this is affecting other people's lives."

And the impact on the Alek family has been tremendous.

First, there's a lingering fear about the COVID-19 virus peaking and Ohio running out of ventilators.

"My mother has COPD, and my father is a diabetic, and I am concerned with their underlying health issues that this could be bad for them," Alek said. "I am also concerned as my son has a reactive airway and often has breathing problems when he gets even a common cold. I am surprised by the fact that we weren't more prepared as we saw this coming."

The pandemic is causing physical and emotional weariness

And then there's the daily toll.

"My husband is a strong man, he hardly ever shows weakness," Alek said. "This has been the first time I have ever seen him scared, except for once, when our first-born was sick as an infant."

But he has "promised me to not sugar coat anything that he hears," she said, and "he knows I need to talk through things, too, and he consoles me when I get emotional about all of it."

Trying to deal with the coronavirus on the work and home front has caused Ryan Alek to lose a lot of weight, and the skin on his hands is dry and cracking from the constant washing and sanitizing.

Like the Rahims, the Aleks are also taking precautions to prevent the COVID-19 virus from breaching their house.

"[Ryan] comes home and undresses from his work uniform in the garage, opens the door, and then sanitizes the handle behind him," Amanda Alek said. "When I see him pull in the driveway, I run to the bathroom to start the hot water in the shower and then start to distract our two-year-old."

Before the outbreak, the couple's youngest daughter used to drop whatever she was doing when she spotted her father at the back door and scream, "Daddy!"

Ryan Alek loved being "tackled with hugs every day," Amanda Alek said. "Obviously, this has had to stop with fear that his clothing or skin could be contaminated. So he sneaks past us and showers and then greets the kids, all in hopes that that was enough to stop this from entering our home."

Soon, he will be limited to using one bathroom, while the rest of the family uses another.

'I miss seeing my kids'

Carter Musgrave, a Utah pharmacist, is already being forced to do that.

He, too, sheds his clothes at the door and uses the downstairs shower before heading further into his house.

"I do this because I am afraid of spreading this to my family," he told Business Insider.

But Musgrave doesn't get to see his family that much anymore. A magnitude-5.7 earthquake rattled Utah just after 7 a.m. on March 18, and despite everyone being a bit afraid, Musgrave was forced to leave for work.

"My days have been difficult," he said. "I have been staying several hours late after a 10-hour shift, trying to keep up. Many of the days I'm gone before my kids wake up and [I come] home after they've gone to sleep, so I miss seeing my kids."

Musgrave works for a pharmacy that is located inside a grocery store that shuts at 4 p.m. every day because it's not receiving shipments of goods. But the knowledge that his community relies on him has pushed Musgrave to be creative and turn to curbside delivery even after the shop has closed its doors.

The physical and mental rigors of his job, however, are lost on his children.

"Both of my kids are very young, so they don't fully understand why everyone is home except Dad," he said. "I hope one day they will understand what I was doing, that I was fighting for the health of our community, and keeping good on my oath as a pharmacist."

'Please stay home' for the sake of healthcare workers

Asked to reflect on this new reality, Musgrave struggled to believe what he's hearing and experiencing.

"Pharmacies have been bombarded," he said. "We were already maxed out before this virus decided to rear its ugly head. Today we see people making the problem worse by hoarding supplies like toilet paper, masks, and hand sanitizer."

Musgrave, who has seen a shortage in inhalers and hydroxychloroquine, a malaria medication touted as helpful to coronavirus patients, said his work volume has spiked amid fears that people won't be able to get their hands on necessary medicines. And people have to deal with longer-than-usual wait times because Musgrave can't work at his usual pace due to "extra precautions" that are in place.

Medical workers in hospitals and elsewhere are plagued by a severe lack of personal protective equipment - masks, gloves, and glasses. "We don't have enough PPE. I don't know anyone who does," Musgrave said. "I have had patients come and donate their PPE to the pharmacy. This has been a lifesaver for us." So the store where he works focuses on surface cleaning and keeping people at safe distances from one another, using tape on the floor and roped poles.

An exhausted Musgrave said that he has come across people dismissing the need to stay home, "in the name of supporting the local economy." But, "I promise you," he said, "this is the time to support your local healthcare providers by staying home. We are sacrificing our health by going out so that you can stay home. Please stay home. ... Keep your distance and wash your hands."

Staring down the 'possibility of death' for the sake of patients

Rahim echoed the sentiment.

Her husband "knows that there is a high risk of exposure to COVID-19 and that there is a possibility of death, but that does not phase him. He continues to go to work every day eager to serve" his patients, she said.

Some on the frontlines of the coronavirus crisis have been forced to self-isolate in basements, garages, and hotels. The Rahims aren't taking that step: They've chosen to face this crisis together.

However, "as the number of cases rises, we are constantly questioning whether or not we have made the right decision for our family," especially because Zain is asthmatic, Rahim said. "As someone told me, 'In sickness and in health takes [on] a whole new meaning during this pandemic,'" she added.

The family hopes that frequent sanitizing and social distancing - on their part and that of others in their community - will help protect them from the virus.

"I don't want him to go through the mental and emotional toll of dealing with a pandemic alone," Rahim said of her spouse. "The thought of him being sick and facing this on his own frightens me ... If these are the final days I have with my husband, I don't want to live apart from him."

And get the latest coronavirus analysis and research from Business Insider Intelligence on how COVID-19 is impacting businesses.

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